"A Sanctuary Safe and Strong"(Marianas Trench)

Part 2: "Skyline Blue, Car Crash White" - Chapter 51

Shit. 

"What if I turned on a light? Maybe that would help," Matt suggested. "It's...it's really dark in here and that can kinda fuck you up, man," he continued, doing his absolute best not to sound like he, himself was starting to panic too much. He knew from experience that when Josh got into these modes, if people around him started to sound worried, that would make things so much worse, so he kept his voice slow and calm even though his mind was racing. 

Matt was completely, absolutely confused as to what to do. This wasn't just bad, this was fucking terrifying. He'd never seen the singer this completely out of his mind, and he didn't know what to do. Should he call Josh's parents to tell them to come deal with their son because he was in the middle of a mental breakdown? Would it be best if he called Mike and Ian to see if they had any ideas about how to handle all this? They'd never seen Josh act a fraction of the way he was now, so he wasn't sure how much good those two would be. Should he get in touch with Josh's sister, the one he was closest to? She was sure to have had some experience helping him through these episodes more than once. Would calling for an ambulance be the answer? Fuck, what did he do now? How the hell should he handle this? The one thing he knew for sure was that he couldn't leave Josh alone. 

Josh raised his shoulders in a half-hearted shrug. "Whatever you want, dude. But, it wouldn't help. There's still light in hell," he mumbled. "The light there is fire, you know." Josh lifted his head again, a slight knowing, smug smile tugging at his lips. "Wouldn't that be, like, really fuckin' great any time I needed to light a cigarette?" It scared Matt that Josh was sounding more and more lucid as the conversation went on, but it absolutely fucking terrified him that the singer wasn't speaking rationally at all. 

"Yeah, that would be convenient, I guess." Matt nodded, trying to make as much sense out of this whole thing as quickly as he could. The words Josh was speaking may have been completely absurd, but Josh, himself, wasn't crazy. Matt didn't know exactly what was going on with his friend, but he went along with it just because he had no other choice. "But, I didn't know you still smoked," he continued, knowing full well that Josh had quit straight nicotine in favour of electronic cigarettes approximately four years ago. 

"Where have you been, dude? How many times have you seen me duck outside for a quick cig break?" The singer laughed and shook his head, sitting up a bit more and casually draping his arm over his knees, as though the two were having a random conversation on any random day. "Are you that unobservant?" 

Matt tried to smile back, but it wavered. "I...guess so," he said, simply to appease the singer. "I'll try to pay closer attention in the future." 

"Yeah, you do that, dude." Josh finally shoved Matt's hands away from his shoulders. "Oh, fuck, hey, sorry about that," the singer said, pointing at Matt's right arm and jerking his own away quickly. 

The brunet looked down, but noticed nothing wrong in what he was barely able to see in the dark. "What...? Sorry about what, man?" 

"That'll come out. I swear. Just use cold water and it'll be fine. Sorry, though." Josh flipped his hair up and out of his eyes nonchalantly, not bothering to further try to explain something Matt couldn't identify. 

"What are you sorry for?" the brunet questioned again.  

Without giving him an answer, the singer braced one hand on the bed and one against the wall before pushing himself to stand. "I need to go bandage this shit up before I bleed all over everything, and if you give me your shirt, I'll go wash the blood out for you. But you have to get outta the goddamn way first," he said with another smile, wider, more friendly this time. The way he held his arm, palm up with his hand in front of him was familiar to Matt, but not in a good way.