Korrasami College AU

Chapter 12

A/N: Hey guys, here's chapter 12! Like the last chapter it's Asami's POV but Korra telling her some stuff. There's only a few more chapters left of this story, hopefully this is a good story as a whole and in parts, never really written anything like this before. Happy reading! Let me know what you think!

⚠️Warning: Possible trigger, talks about cutting⚠️

Asami POV

"These concussions are one reason why I did this," she said lifting up her arm, gesturing to her wrists, "Even though my parents were right there to help me through it all, they didn't understand what was going on. They wanted to understand so bad, but they just couldn't. And I just wanted the pain and suffering of them to just stop for a moment. So after it got really bad after my second one, I went out and bought these bracelets because I knew my parents. And I just didn't want them to know, I wanted to handle it on my own. They would try to come in and fix it their way, and thats just not how I deal with things. I deal with things so differently from them, I just wanted to be left alone about it. I acted like everything was fine on the outside when I was around them, I did what I normally would do, I acted like I was happy and there was nothing wrong, but on the inside, I just felt alone. I started cutting to relieve the pain and it helped. It distracted me from it all, even for a moment.

"Once things started to get better a while after the second one, I didn't do it as much, I still did it, just not as much, because I actually thought I was getting better. But the world was just playing a cruel joke on me because right after that, I got my third one. The pain was worse than before, almost unbearable. So I started cutting again, and it helped, so I did it more and more. It continued for a while, even after I met you. But there was a few months in there after we met when I truly felt happy and it was always when I was with you. It's one of the reasons I wanted to get an apartment with you, you make me happy. I stopped cutting for a while. But over the summer, I tried to get off my meds because I didn't want to be dependent on them. But the pain from the concussions came back with a vengeance. I started cutting again. After a couple months I couldn't take it anymore, I went back to the doctor and they put me back on the same meds but a higher dosage, cause I knew the dose I had before wouldn't be enough. I just knew. And I kept cutting.

"And then college started back up and I just got so stressed, so I kept going. But a couple months ago, something changed... I didn't feel as alone... It took me a while to figure out why, but when I did, I promised myself I would stop cutting for- for that reason. Do you mind taking my bracelet off for a moment?"

She held her arm up to me and I unclasped the bracelet and took it off. She looked down at the multiple scars and the few fresh cuts and took a deep breath.

"These scars are from the cutting up to that promise. These fresh cuts, those happened about a week ago. The night before these happened, I was trying to meditate and center my mind because I could feel that loneliness coming back up. When the meditation didn't work, I tried to sleep it off. I woke up and it was there, worse than before, so I did this. I got a few cuts in, then remembered my promise, and thought about what would happen if I didn't keep it. So I stopped and cleaned them up and went on as if nothing happened... Sorry, I shouldn't have said all that. I'm sorry."

"Korra?" I whispered, looking down at her and caressing her cheek. She looked up at me, I could see her eyes filled with sadness and tears. I brushed my thumb back and forth across her cheek. "I know I can't completely understand what you went through and everything you are going through, but just know I am right here for you. No matter what. Thank you for telling me. And you have nothing to be sorry for."

With that, the tears spilled from her eyes and she buried her face in my chest. I moved my hand from her cheek to the back of her head and my other hand to her back. I rubbed her back trying to calm her down while whispering comforting words into the top of her head. After a few minutes, her tears subsided and she looked up at me with a small smile on her lips. I wiped some of the tears from her cheeks.

"Thank you, 'Sami," just above a whisper, her voice hoarse from crying.

"Of course," I said, returning her small smile, "Since you shared this with me, would you mind if I shared something with you?"

She opened her mouth to respond, but ended up just nodding, her eyes pleading but worried. I scooted over and stood up from the bed. Korra let out a small whine, asking me to come back, but I needed to do this. Needed her to know. I turned to face her and lifted up the sides of my sleep shorts. Her eyes widened.