Fifty Shades of Crazy

Ex Boyfriends

I finally cry every tear I had and I rest my head on Ryder's shoulder. I take a deep breath and Ryder pets my hair; I lean my head against his neck and I close my eyes at the feeling of safety I feel. "I knew you were fixin' to leave." Cade says and we all look at him surprise. "How?" Jack asks in confusion. "She's had this look in her eyes ever since I have known her, but it's gotten so much brighter. You can see she has been getting ready to fly as soon Ryder started talking about colleges. When she looks at the road you can see it calling her to come home. Kate was born to be free; the road has always been her home. It keeps calling her back and away from us and everything she has. She has to race the wind like we need to breathe. It is the cowboy in her. She has to go and if we try to stop her it is like caging a beautiful bird who only wishes to fly free." Cade speaks looking out at the sunset and I freeze at how much more he noticed than anyone else.

Ryder stares at his baby brother wide eyed and he looks at me as if to confirm his little brothers words; I sigh and nod in agreement with what Cade was saying. "As soon as you started talking about your college stuff I knew I needed to fly away. It is so hard for me not to run away. My dad hates being on the road for too long, but it feels so good to go places I ain't never been. You are going to be a big college football star and I am going to be there for you. I just need to run; Cade's right. The road is my home." I say and Jack shoots me a sad, but understanding smile. I wrap my arms around Cade and he hold onto me tighter than ever before. "You are a wonderful man. I never thought you would ever have seen what no one else can." I whisper into his neck, as he is only a couple inches taller than me. "I always saw; I always have understood." He whispers into my ear. He lets go of me and Jack hugs me tightly. "You know I always got your back, beautiful. Never forget that; whatever hell you go through I'll be at your side. And you aren't aloud to leave till you graduate tomorrow." Jack says and I smile at his sweetness. "I won't leave for a while. I have to figure everything out." I say and they all sigh in relief. "I can't say goodbye tomorrow to you anyway because there are some badass parties we are going to." Ryder says and I smile and laugh.

Settling down in my room, I lay in my bed with both of my dogs lying on one of my side; Cade lays on my couch and Ryder shoots him a look. "Ugh, fine." Cade says and I say, "Cade, you can sleep with me and the pups." He grins at victoriously at Ryder who hops the couch and runs to my bed. "I'm sorry. You can have the couch, Cade." Ryder mocks. Jack just watches from the other couch smiling at Ryder and Cade's antics. I roll my eyes at their games and Ryder gets in my bed and I lay my head on his chest. My dogs both take up the other half of the bed and I sigh in contentment, but I look out the window and I feel the road calling me to leave this.

"You are the best at breaking my heart my beautiful best friend. I hate how much longing there is in your eyes when you look out there." Ryder whispers and I look into his sad green brown eyes and tears come to my eyes. "I don't want to; there is just something I can't stop. You'll always be my superman, Ryder." I say quietly and bury my head into his bare chest. "I know princess. It is just sad that we aren't enough to keep you here." Ryder says and I feel tears pouring from my eyes. "I hate myself for hurting you." I choke out and he pulls me tighter. "Don't, it is who you are. That's why we love you." Ryder says back before kissing my forehead.

"I wish I wasn't so damn restless; we would all wouldn't hurt near as much." I whisper and Ryder smiles up at the ceiling and chuckles loudly and I hear Jack and Cade laugh with him. "If it wasn't you being restless, it would be something worse, Princess. You're a wild thing, it is in your blood." Ryder says and Jack comments "Katers, you're are restless, so what? We miss you, but distance makes the heart grow fonder." And Cade adds last "You're our precious mustang. You race the wind and chase the sun." I smile at how good of friends I have and I yawn in exhaustion. "I love y'all and I would be so worse off without you all." They smile and I sigh before closing my eyes and am consumed by sleep.