Fifty Shades of Crazy

Part 12

Jack, Ryder and I make our way upstairs where I lay on my bed in exhaustion and begin to panic about the speech I have to give. I feel my butterflies in my stomach and the fear of messing up makes my chest feel tighter and tighter. I am barely able to choke out a cry of pain as my breathing quickens and I continue whimper. My head begins to pound in an all too familiar way that I have hidden for months. Someone touches my shoulder causing me to flinch and I hear muffled distant voices as I can't seem to see anything. I feel a gentle caress on my hand and I focus on it. I close my eyes as pain grows in my head and welcome the darkness.

I wake to the irritating sound of beeping and I open my eyes slowly and shut them at the shocking brightness. I open my eyes and glance around to see I am in a white washed room with flowers, stuffed animals and balloons giving the room a brighter feel. I glance to my left to see my dad asleep in a plastic chair that has to be uncomfortable and I can't help but smile at him. To my other side, Ryder is asleep on the couch, his long hair unruly and his face seems troubled as he slumbers.

I look away as a new person walks into the room and I grin at the familiar face. Jason looks at me in surprise and rushes to my side, kissing my forehead repeatedly, whispering "thank you, Lord." I open my mouth to speak but it was unbearably dry and I can't get a word out. Jason hands me my water and sits on my bed, holding tightly onto my hand.

"How long have I been here?" I croak out and Jason glances at my dad before looking back at me.

"It has been a week and half, Kate. You went into a coma because of brain damage." He answers and I shake my head in shock.

"My head doesn't hurt like usual." I blurt out without thinking. I hadn't told anyone about the constant headaches that have pledged my life for months.

"Maybe if you told someone about that, you wouldn't have gone into a coma." Ryder growls out, shocking me and I see his eyes flashing with anger and disappointment. He walks out, not even glancing back for a moment and I feel the guilt begin to set in.

"He doesn't mean it, Kate. He has been spending every waking minute in this hospital blaming himself for this. He is hurting, that's all." Jason reassures me, but I can't help but feel the urge to cry because I would be doing the same thing if the places were switched.

"What about him?" I ask, my voice sounding broken as I point to my dad.

"He has been here with Ryder everyday. He only leaves when your mother begs him to play with the boys so she can be with you." My heart warms and hurts at the same time. I have put such a strain on my family.

"I am going to call down the doctor so he can fix you up." Jason says and I nod absentmindedly, thinking of how much of a mess I am. He leaves and some amount of time passed before the door opens and I feel a grin make its way onto my face. Chase rushes to my side and kisses my lips delicately. I deepen the kiss as Chase holds my face in his hands. He pulls away and grasps my tan hand into his.

"You have no idea how much you scared me, baby. I missed you so much." Chase rushes out before he kisses my forehead and my lips again deeply.

"Watch yourself, boy. I don't care if we are in the hospital, I'll still kick your ass." My dad's drawl has never sounded as good as it did now. I look at him and notice the joy on his face. He hold my tightly in his arms and I feel safe as I breathe in his familiar scent.

"Daddy." I cry out and the tears roll down both of our cheeks. Moments later the doctor walks into my room and my father lets go of me, looking at the doctor excitedly. The doctor is a young brunette man with bright twinkling blue eyes complimented with a dazzling white smile.

"Hello Ms. Bryan, I am Dr. Tyler Knight. It is nice to see you awake. How are you feeling?" He asks warmly.

"I think this is the first time in awhile I can say my head doesn't hurt like a bitch, but my body aches." I rasp out and my dad shoots me a glare for cursing and Chase tightens his grip on my hand as Tyler laughs at my explanation.

"Well Ms. Kate, I'm glad we have gotten your head to where it needs to be at, but I need to ask why you haven't come to a doctor about your head pain?" Tyler looks sympathetic as well as stern, but I tell him the truth.

"I got used to it, I thought my concussion from football ended up being a little worse than usual. The pain was nothing I couldn't handle and I hate having people worrying about me." I shrug and he shakes his head.

"Kate, you were diagnosed with a very rare form of damage in your brain. It is a miracle that you didn't die from it by waiting so long for something to happen. If we hadn't figured out what was wrong the day you came in, you would have died. Why did you refuse an MRI when you got your concussion?" Dr. Tyler looks me in the eye and I look away trying to not feel so guilty.

"I can't stand hospitals, they are my worst fear. And at the time it wasn't that bad, just normal concussion effects." I choke out and bury my head in Chase's chest.

"Can we talk to you more later, doc?" My dad asks and the doctor agrees as I cry into Chase's chest. Chase doesn't say a word but just hold me close, his breathing comforts me as the tears slow. I look at my dad and he gives me a reassuring smile and I smile back tiredly. I lie back down and blink slowly as I feel the fatigue set in and then the worry sets in.

"Dad, how's mom? And Bo and Tater? I miss them. And how's Cash and Strait and my horses? And Titus how's-"

"Slow down baby, you're going to tire yourself out. They are all doing good, the boys have been missing you though and your dogs have been sleeping on your bed and the horses are waiting by the door for you to come home. Tee is alright, he'll probably be out here soon, okay?" Dad says, his brown eyes filling with tears and I feel mine doing the same.

"I'm sorry Daddy, I am so sorry. I know it doesn't cut it, but I'm sorry." I sob and he holds my hand tightly.

"Baby, I don't know why you are apologizing. God does things for reasons and even though they make no sense we have to trust him. He is looking out for us babydoll." My father speaks in true faith, faith that I let falter at times.

"Yeah, He does. But if I had told you what was wrong, we wouldn't be here. Ryder wouldn't hate me, you and mom wouldn't be so stressed out." I whimper.

"Oh my goodness, Dad! The medical bills are going to be sky high because of me." I began sobbing, not able to look at him.

"Baby, you're here and you are gong to be okay. That's all that matters to me. Money isn't anything you need to ever worry about, it is going to be okay." He insists, wiping my tears away.
I settle down after I shed a few more tears and I look at Chase who smiles at me.

"I'm not good enough for you." Chase utters and my mouth drops at his words.

"Damn right, you aren't, boy." My dad interrupts. I shoot him a glare and motion towards the door.

"Dad, go please. Chase and I need to have a word." I say and he is about to argue till he sees my glare. He reluctantly drags his feet out of the room.

"Please don't ever say bullshit like that ever again. I am not a good person, I am not better than anybody, especially you. You're an amazing man and I'm a hot mess." I command and he grins as he shakes his head at me, his blue eyes twinkling.

"You got the hot part right, baby." He whispers before kissing my temple delicately.