Without Another Choice- Sirius Black

Letters to a Dead Man

After lunch, Sirius left to go to the corridor outside to think. The boy sat on a stone bench, far away from the school and all the people before pulling out a cigarette. It was cold in late December, but he didn't bother wearing a coat over his leather jacket. After he finished, Sirius got up and walked into the dark forest, transforming into his animagus form and running as fast as he could as a dog. Once the school was out of sight, he broke into a run and ran as fast as he possibly could through the forest.

    When Sirius, and any of the Marauders, were in their animagus form, he felt so alive. It was an indescribable feeling of freedom and power. He could see, smell, run and hear better. Sirius just kept running and running. He ran and didn't stop for a while until he was sure the school was completely out of reach.

    Sirius spotted a cave in the forest and sprinted towards it, transforming back into a human. He stared at the view. The boy could see the top of all the trees from up there. The sky was foggy, and the day was crisp. A single tear slipped from his eye before he bursted out crying. The boy buried his face in his knees as he let out all of his emotions.

    America would have known the perfect way to soothe him. But he didn't want to push his luck, so she wasn't around. How could he ever love someone else? She was the best for him in every way shape and form. Sirius knew they were far from perfect, especially him, but he had never felt this way for anyone. He just couldn't imagine how she could have been so okay when he was gone.

    Sirius Black had never cried over a girl before. It felt odd. Was that how all the girls that he had broken up with felt? Because at that instant, he felt like complete shit.

    A small piece of parchment in the corner of the cave caught Sirius' eye. He wiped away his tears and saw that it was a letter. He picked it up and flipped it over.

    On the back, in perfect calligraphy, it was sent to Grandpa Henry. He looked around and found a whole mountain filled with letters, all sent to Grandpa Henry with the same handwriting. Sirius was in shock.

    There were thousands of them, all with the date that they were written and from, "Your Lizzy." Just in time, a school owl came flying into the cave and dropped off another letter into the cave before flying away. He searched the huge pile of letters to find the first one, written on December 23, 1973. He carefully opened the old, yellowing parchment and began to read.

    Dear, Grandpa Henry.

    How are you? I know that may sound like a foolish question right now, so my apologies for that. It doesn't feel like you're gone. James will probably think it's silly that I'm writing to you, but you and I both know all too well that he has done much sillier things in the past than this. So, anyway, here I am, in my dorm room at four in the morning, while Lily, along with the rest of Hogwarts, is asleep, and I'm writing to you. I want to start off by saying, that I miss you. I received Father's urgent letter telling me of you passing just by two minutes ago. And oh, how I miss you.

    I promise you that I didn't cry like you made me swear I wouldn't. I refuse to let your hard work go to waste, but how I miss you. I don't think there has ever been a wizard who understood me as well as you did, but that could also be because you practically raised me.

    James is a wreck, but I think you and I both know that he didn't even know you that well. He barely even talked to you. But we shall never know, I suppose.

    Remmy knows something's wrong. He always knows everything. It can get quite annoying at times, but he's still my friend.

    I also received the letter that you needed me to pick up some stuff from your house when I turned sixteen. I cannot lie and say that I am not quite anxious by the way you worded it. Like it was a little secret. Why can't I pick it up now? Why must I wait a whole two years? But I must be patient I suppose.