The Game called Love

Future

"We were meant to meet but never meant to be."

I was dreading the conversation that I knew was coming. I knew as soon as we reached my room, nothing is going to be the same. I have a pretty good idea of what has happened and what is going to happen from now. 

The journey from the living room to my bedroom feels like the longest and most exhausting journey I have ever taken.

We both are silent for the first few minutes after entering the room. We both know that stalling the conversation is not going to change anything but neither of us have the energy or the courage to start the conversation that we know will lead us to the very end of our lovely love story.

"Riya, they read the letter before I could even cross the block and they were easily able to catch me but do not worry I had not written your name in it. They think it was Ananya from my baking extra classes as she coincidently came to my house three times that day. You are safe, nobody knows about you and we both know they are not going to confirm if it was Ananya or not,"

Amaira finally gathers enough courage to start the conversation but her words fill me with anger.

"Amaira, do you honestly think that my girlfriend would come to my house with badly done makeup trying to hide several bruises inflicted on her by her own family and with her god damn marriage invitation and I will be worried about me being out of the closet. Amaira, do you understand the situation you are getting into? You are getting married to man Amaira, to a man, nonetheless a man you have never even met before. Do you honestly think that you can ever love him?" my voice raises a little bit at the end.

 Anger and jealously are oozing out of voice.

"Arrange marriages are a thing Riya, I will not be the first one to go through it. I can learn to live with him Riya, I can definitely learn that. Plus marrying him is better for both of us Riya. We should have never even gotten involved together,"

Words do not have the power to hurt you unless the person who said it means a lot to you and these ones hurt a lot. It feels like someone purposely stabbed me and is slowly and steadily pulling the knife out making sure that it hurts.

"Aren't you suppose to marry the person who you can not live with out and not the person who you can learn to live with," I can feel the tears in my eyes that are fighting to be let out.

"Listen Riya, we were stupid to do enter into a relationship with each other knowing that we could or perhaps we would get hurt at the end," Amaira's voice reeks of sadness and desperation too but her words bring nothing but anger and pain to me.

"Amaira is this not also what courageous means, to do something knowing that you can get hurt at the end. To take that risk for someone who you love." I don't even know what I am trying to do because we both know that this is the end of our relationship.

"At this point Riya, I am neither stupid nor courageous. We were doomed from the very beginning of this relationship, Riya. 

What do you want to do? Run away? To where. Our love and marriage will always be illegal Riya, and how long do you honestly think that you can hide our relationship from the whole world. It is going to come out someday....."

"Then let it Amaira, I do not want to hide it. We are not alone, there are same sex couple out there Amaira. Sure the life will be a little harder but is love not worth going through all the hardships together." I am desperate at this point. Even the image of a life without her pierces my soul.

"Riya, this is not a fairy tale where a fairy grandmother will wave a wand and we will have a pretty dress for a royal ball and then everyone will some how accept us and then we will live happily ever after. 

In our lives Riya, there is no pretty dress or a royal ball or a happily ever after. No one will give us a flat or a job knowing that we are a couple  We will have to live in secrecy to actually survive and no one will be happy Riya. 

 Do you really think our parents are gonna leave us alive after knowing that we ran away that too together? Do not act like a fool, we both know what honor killing is Riya and it is not an uncommon thing. Life will be hell, a complete hell. Be happy that we are even alive,"

"And I am ready to go through hell Amaira but...'

"But I am not ready to put everyone through hell for my selfish love, Riya. If people got to know that we ran out together, our family will face the consequences too. Consequences that they do not even deserve. Their whole reputation and hard work will go down the drain. People will make fun of our parents, Riya. And I do not want that to happen.

We decided to go forward with the relationship Riya, we made the mistake of building a relationship when we knew what may happen. We made the choice so we face the consequences and not our family Riya," Amaira's eyes are full of tears too at this point.

"Consequences, did we really make that big of a mistake Amaira?" I can not help but ask.

"It will be better for you Riya if you actually open  your eyes and look around and come to realization in which country do you live in and what consequence you can face by defying the customs here. Snap out of the fairy tale Riya, it will be better for you and everyone around you." her voice has started raising too.

"Amaira, it seems like you have actually decided who you want and it is not me. I do not even know why we are discussing this topic anymore. Tell me about this man you are marrying. What is his name? What does he do? Is he handsome? How much does he make?"

"Do not do this Riya, do not do this. Talk to me Riya and try to understand.  You have to understand Riya, we were so lost in the dreams of all the fairy tales that we forgot about the reality and now it is time to snap out of the imaginary fairy tale and accept the reality. Try and understand here." 

Both of us have lost the battle with our tears.

"What do you want me to do Amaira? What do you want me to understand? I am losing you, Amaira to someone who neither of us has met nor do we know anything about.

I am losing you for ever and ever and ever. You are here telling me how the best decision for you is to marry this guy because that is what is the right thing to do is.  This does not feel right to me Amaira, not one bit.

Amaira, in two months you will no longer be my Amaira anymore. What do you want me to understand that I should be happy because you have decided to suppress yourself for the sake of your parents happiness or I am just that stupid person who dared to actually go forward with things that I knew will bring pain at the end,"

I could no longer hold in my tears. I just fell down and sobbed my heart out. Conveyed the messages by tears that my words didn't have the power to. I could feel Amaira's arm around me hugging and crying with me.

We were grieving each other. We were grieving the loss of each other even though we both were fucking alive.

"Riya, maybe we were meant to meet but not meant to be.."

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-Rhea.