The Game called Love

REGRET

"And suddenly all the love songs were about you."

It has been a week since I have seen or heard from her. Every day I just stare at her house but I am never able to gather enough  courage to actually walk up to her front door. 

Everything reminds me of her. Every song I hear, every movie I see even my own house reminds me of every memory we have created here. 

I can not escape from thoughts of her even for a moment. The thoughts of what is happening to her, what has happened to her, and what is going to happen to us.

I am not even sure to what extent her parents know about us because they have not contacted my family by now which is a surprise. After all, our fathers are pretty good  friends and I am very  afraid.

I am afraid of what can happen if they do decide to tell my parents about it because my parents are worse than hers, My father literally has anger issues that he refuses to address.

I do know that Amaira is alive but in what state I don't know. Aman was able to enter only once and the only thing he told me was she is alive but he refused to tell me more and I know Amaira has stopped him from telling me anymore.

I am well aware that she has to face the consequences but what they could be is what terrifies me. Our fathers are influential people they could do whatever they wanted to very easily.

Regret has started to fill me up. I should have never agreed to this when I knew we could easily get caught and that could be the end of us and not just our love story.

I should have stopped this plan from ever happening. I should have known that we will get caught. I should have planned better. I should have made more effort. 

I should have planned better. I should have never left alone. I should have come up with some excuse to take her something and then we could have never just returned. 

I should have known better. 

We should have tried different things before we took such a big step. I should have protected her better. I should have kept her safe. 

I should have never agreed at least she would be here by my side right now smiling like she always does.

I failed us. I failed her.

I should have never been this impulsive and just agreed with her. I let my heart lead us and now we are in trouble. I should have used my brain for once. I was supposed to be the responsible one in the relationship and now I have landed us in such trouble.

I should have used my brain. I should have put more effort into the plan. Our plan was full of holes and we fell right through one. 

If I had plotted all the possible outcomes of this plan then I would have known that there was only a small chance that we would have been successful. It was pretty clear that our plan was bound to fail but we were blinded by love and dreams.  

If only I had used my brain. 

I just wallow in self pity and regret and think of all the things we could have done better. 

"Riya, come down. Amaira is here," My mom calls me from the living room.

Amaira, she is finally here. I don't think I have ever walked so fast in my life.

As soon as I reach the living room I regret ever coming here. 

Amaira is here but she is not alone. She is here with her parents and they are not here for a friendly visit. They are here to invite us to a wedding. 

I know that because they have the custom gift that you give to the closest family member when you invite them to your marriage. 

"Oh my god! why didn't you tell me about this Riya? Amaira is getting married. You are definitely the next." I can hear the excitement oozing out of my mother's voice.

Unfortunately, I do not share that excitement with her at all.

"oh Riya did not know either, We wanted to invite you guys personally the traditional way. I mean Riya is like a sister to our Amaira. They have been joined to hips since the start of the college and Riya has helped our Amaira so much like an elder sister so we wanted to invite her as our Amaira's sister," Amaira's mother says while giving us the invite with the gifts.

Maybe we were joined to hips were different reasons. I mean why do we have to be sisters, maybe we love each other a little more than how sisters are supposed to love each other.

"I am sure Riya is excited for this, they really are like sisters aren't they?" 

I want to shout at top pf my voice that we are noting like sisters.

My mother continues to talk with them. I am sure she is making a mental list of all the bachelors who are coming to her wedding to marry me off next.

I finally look at Amaira, she has been silent all this time. One look at her face and I can tell what her makeup  is trying to hide.

Anger and regret fill me completely just thinking of them hitting her and her not being able to defend herself. I failed to protect her.

"Amaira why don't we go to our rooms, we can talk there," 

"Yes Amaira, go with her. You both will get bored of our grown up talk." my mother says as if we have not grown up at all and don't know what they are going to talk about it.

Amaira just silently follows me.

If only we had been smart, we would have not been in this situation today.

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-Rhea Asthana