The Game called Love

RUN

"It sucks when you know that you need to let go, but you can't because your still waiting for the impossible thing to happen."

She is not here.

I have been waiting for her for the last four hours and she is still not here. I am still sitting on the same spot on the bus station watching all the buses slowly leaving to their destination while I just sit there and think of the next bus we can catch when Amaira finally arrives.

Somewhere inside me I know that she is not coming but I can not just let go. My heart keeps convincing me to wait a little longer and I keep following my heart even when I am well aware that I will have return back home in the next ten minutes if I want to reach my home before our maid wakes up at five.

It seems like I am waiting for the impossible to happen.

I can not stop myself from imagining every thing that could have gone wrong with Amaira. She could have gotten caught and if that is what happened then there are several things that are at stake here including her life.

Honor killing is not an uncommon concept in India and there are several people out there who believe in honor killing and I would not be very shocked if her father was a part of that group.

I hope that she did not show up because she changed her mind and definitely not because she currently laying somewhere lifeless or she is currently being tortured by her own family.

I can think of so many bad scenarios where all Amaira receives is pain and I do not want her to be in any one of those.

I have to make the decision of either running away all alone or returning back home soon but I can not help but hope that she is just a little late and will be reaching the bus station soon but somewhere inside I know that if Amaira was going to come then she would have by now. After all it was just a ten minute route and she is four hours late.

Sometimes, your heart need more time to accept what your mind already knows.

The fear of what consequence Amaira is facing right this moment slowly eats me alive with every step I take towards my home.

What will it be? Will they just hit her here and there? Will they really punish her for what she was going to do? Will they just lock her away Or will they send her some where else? Will they cut her contact from the rest of the world? Will they just isolate her? Will they send her to conversion camp or Will they take the superstitious way to 'cure' her?

Will they just cut all the connections they have with her? Will they just marry her off to the first person they find? Or will they ship her to some country like cattle ?

Or the worst one will they just end her?

I would love to believe that she has just changed her mind and decided that I was not worth the risk but the way her phone is switched off for every one of the last seventy time I tried makes it a little difficult for me to accept that she changed her mind.

I stand in front of her house for a minute before climbing into my room through the window, I wished I could just knock on her door and just see what was happening but it would be super suspicious if I just showed up at their house five in the morning but I have to do something.

I have to make sure that she is not in danger. I just don't know how because if she did get caught the first thing her family must have done is cut all her contact from the rest of the world.

I go through my contacts looking for someone that I can call to help me and I come across just the person who can.

"Hello, Riya. Why are you calling me five in the morning?" The confusion is clear in his voice.

"Aman, I need your help and do not worry about money, I will pay you any amount you want," anyone could hear the panic in my voice.

Aman is the only one who can help me.

"Riya, calm down. Tell me what you need help with, we can figure about the payment plans afterwards." Aman was trying his best to sound soothing and relaxed but we both knew I would have not called him if it was not life threatening.

"Aman, I want someone to knock the Agrawal's house every two hours. Amaira can be in life threatening danger right now. Make sure it is someone else every time and see if any one can get access to her in any way I do not care if you lie your way in or sneek in. Try to get access to her and even if you do get access to her, keep knocking every two hours and try to spend as much time as you can with Amaira in front of your eyes. She could be dead by now Aman." I was panicking, saying every thing out loud made it all so much more real. 

"What did you guys get into Riya? Any way do not worry at all I will get to it immediately and I will call you once I have enough knowledge about her. Give me some excuses that I can use and which gender is most likely to get in?" Aman was in complete business mode now.

"Try with both genders and see, her room is at the end of the house on the ground floor, she has a huge window but I do not know how safe or easy it will be to sneek in from there. She is going to apply for both internships and PhD for psychology so use that and she goes to a baking class so you can use that too. Try as services too, like food delivery or something," I was on the verge of having a panic attack and it was evident though my voice.

An image of Amaira's lifeless body just laying on the floor while her family decided on how to dispose it becomes more and more prominent as I talk to him about it.

"Calm down Riya, I am on it. I will call you soon."

I just look at my phone waiting for his call even  though I know he will need few hours to collect any kind of information. I just can not help it.

I put away every thing that I had packed while praying to every god that anyone has ever believed in to keep Amaira safe. Checking my phone every ten minute just to make sure that I have not missed any thing.

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-Rhea.