Let It Be Your Shirt (Story 3 of Sev & M)

Chapter 18

Marcus heard the sound of seagulls and opened his eyes, not at all surprised to see he was on the boardwalk where he always met Caspian. He looked around trying to spot him in the crowd. It took him a couple tries but he finally spotted him sitting at a small table a couple feet away and made his way towards him. When he reached the table Cas looked up at him and smiled.

"I didn't think you would be getting any sleep tonight. Tomorrow's the big day," Cas said.

He couldn't help but smile, it had been a long road but Severine and his wedding was tomorrow. He had been jittery all day and hadn't thought he would be able to sleep either. Cas noticed his smile and his own grew wider.

"You don't know how relieved I am that you've found happiness," Cas said.

He nodded still smiling but then the smile faded. "Severine said he thinks you are still here. Not here like in the heart and memories because of course you are always there. But here as in stuck, not crossed over, like you should have been able too."

"Severine is partly right," Cas said, spreading his hands in a helpless gesture. "I am the cliche who died tragically at a young age so got stuck in limbo apparition. But because of you I'm no longer stuck."

He looked away, there was laughter and up beat carnival music all around him yet all he could feel was sadness and regret.

"Me? How could I have helped you? I'm the reason you died in the first place," he said. Even though they say you can't feel pain in dreams he felt his heart constricting painfully at finally admitting the words aloud that he had only ever silently told himself.

Cas shook his head. "As much as you still think that, a part of you has realized it is not true. My death was caused by Issac and the truth of that has become known now thanks to you."

"And what good does that do? It doesn't bring you back," he said bitterly.

"No, nothing will bring me back. But Issac is behind bars now and can't do to anyone else what he did to me and that's because of you. Well you and Severine. Which is the second reason why I can go now."

"Because of Severine? How does that have anything to do with you?" he asked.

"I was worried about you being alone after I was gone. It was something I thought about anytime I went into a fight. Mom, Dad, and Zandra didn't speak to you and if they did you only fought. I felt like it was my responsibility to be there for you, but I don't need to be now. You have Severine, Evanora, and Zandra," he said simply.

He couldn't think of anything to say so he just nodded. They sat in silence for a few moments. In the distance he could hear a child begging their parents to take a picture by the growth chart ruler. He thought about Cas when he was that age and wished they had taken more pictures together, had met up more than twice a year when they were older. His heart contracted again and he looked at Cas.

"So...is this it? Is this the last time I will see you?" he asked. He didn't want to hear the reply because he knew what it was going to be.

Cas nodded solemnly. "Yes. This will be the last time you see me like this."

He had known what the answer was going to be but he still rocked back from the table as if he had been slapped. He could feel tears stinging his eyes and stared at the sun to fight them back.

"You can really cross over now? You'll be fine?" he choked out.

"Yes, I'll be fine. And so will you. Like you said I'm always here in the heart and memories. You might even see me in your dreams again but they will be normal dreams. I won't be able to converse with you like I am now," Cas said.