two a.m. talks

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It was nearly two a.m. and Louis still wasn't home.

Harry was over worrying though.

A dry laugh escaped his lips as he sat there on their bed alone, thinking of times where he would have freaked and feared an apocalypse when Louis wasn't home by 11 p.m.

He led the beerbottle to his lips once more, emptying it and placing it next to the three already empty ones on his nightstand.

He missed Louis, hell how he missed him, but that's how it always went lately.

He hadn't seen him for at least 2 days and the pain in his heart was huge, but he barely felt it.

Louis already broke it long ago.

Why was he still there then, you might be wondering?

Well, you don't leave the love of your life.

Harry loved Louis after all and even though nobody hurt him like Louis, nobody made his heart race and a smile light up his face like Louis.

He was even over being mad, he was just damn hurt.

Harry layed down, curling up to a tight ball, his arms around himself.

The tears started to flow freely and Harry made no effort to even hold them back.

The tears of a broken heart were all shed, this were tears of fear, anger and hatred at himself.

Fear of being left by Louis or having to leave him, anger because Louis didn't give a single fuck and hatred at himself because Louis still made him feel all this.

When Harry heard a key in the lock downstairs he jumped, not expecting Louis to come home that early, in fact, not expecting him to come home at all.

"We need to talk" Harry slurred when Louis entered the room.

The older boy's face fell, whether it was in annoyance or maybe sadness, who knew.

"Harry, I don't think this is the right time to talk" he spoke carefully, checking the bedside table with the empty bottles and then his watch.

"Maybe you should sleep" according to how clear his words sounded, Louis was sober.

Or just used to having alcohol in his system.

"No Louis" Harry said, even though it sounded more like 'No Lewis' , "we'll talk now."

He pulled himself into a sitting position and patted the bed next to himself, motioning for Louis to sit down.

So the older boy did.

"Alright, what do you want to talk about, Harry?" Louis asked, his voice gentle but slightly annoyed, the way you'd tell a little kid that they can't have another piece of cake.

"You. Me. Us." Harry answered, moving his hands vaguely.
"Us"  Louis repeated. "That's a lot, Harold."

Harry's heart skipped a beat at the old nickname, thinking of better times but then he remembered that those times were long gone, dull, grey and lonely times were here now.

"We can't go on like this Louis and you know it" Harry said.

He was clear in his head now, feeling absolutely sober and he didn't talk like a whiny little kid anymore.

"What do you mean Harry?!" Louis asked, apparently confused.

Maybe it was just fake confusion but the way his face paled made Harry believe that it was at least a bit real.

"I can't love a man that doesn't care about me Louis. I can't spend all my days working to pay our bills and all my nights waiting for you to come home but you never do. You don't give a single fuck about me or about this relationship anymore Louis and I've had enough. I can't live like this anymore, I can't put myself through this pain anymore."

"Do you even hear yourself talking?!" Louis asked, angered.

"Yes I do and I mean it. I've tried my best Louis I gave everything I had to you and got nothing back and now I have to pick up my remaining pieces and save them." Harry's voice wasn't shaking the slightest but his hands were so he curled them to fists.

"You don't mean this Harry, you love me, I know you do, you can't just leave me" Louis sounded a little desperate and all of Harry screamed "Don't hurt Louis don't hurt Louis don't hurt Louis"

"I love you Louis but you don't love me anymore. This will not work out." Harry said after swallowing thickly.

Louis' lower lip was shaking as he sucked it in, so were his hands. He looked as if he was close to tears.

There Harry was, doing the only thing he promised to never do: hurt the one he swore to protect from any harm. Now he was the one harming him and he couldn't save Louis from his own selfish acts.

Deep inside Harry knew that what he was doing was not selfish but just the right thing to do, still his heart went out to Louis like so many times before.

"Please Harry" Louis took a shaky breathe "Please don't leave. Please." 

Tears welled up in Harry's eyes as he got up and grabbed a bag full with clothes and stuff he would need that was already packed.

"Harry please we can talk all this through just please don-" Louis begged, nearly in tears.

But Harry made his decision, it was to late to turn around.

There was nothing that could be fixed, not now.

When there is a tsunami you can prepare and then be protected and later you fix everythinf that's broken.

Just Louis and Harry weren't prepared and their tsunami came slowly, rolling into their relationship and slowly crushing everything.

There was nothing left to fix.

Harry pressed his lips together and walked towards the door, eyes focused on the door.

This was the hardest thing he had ever done but it had to be done.

He could hear Louis take one more shaky breath along with hiccuping and a broken sound and he was so close to turning around, too close.

"I love you, Haz" Louis whispered.

The younger boy froze and then, like a robot, spun around and was at Louis' side in two quick steps.

Not even comprehending what he did, he fell to his knees in front of Louis and pulled him into a kiss.

It was a kiss full of pleas and desperation, salty with uncried tears.

Louis was clinging to Harry for dear life and so it was the other way round, they tasted each other the way they hadn't done for way too long.

After a way too short time Harry broke the kiss and looked at Louis with sad eyes.

Then he got up and spun around, leaving the room.

And that was the last Louis saw of Harry.

-

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A/N: PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN
OH MY GOD
I JUST LET MY OTP BREAK UP WHAT AM I DOING
AAAAAAAAARGH
vote and comment anyways? xx

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 18, 2015 ⏰

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