Hopelessly Obsessed (KomaHina)

14: Emotions

Nagito's POV:

I haven't moved once since flopping onto the floor of my living room. I'm still in the same position, in my uniform. I don't know how much time has passed, I keep fading between consciousness and sleep. But I don't open my eyes. If I do that, my brain will find something to complain about. Or label something as dangerous. Or find something to use as a prompt for a violent intrusive thought. So it's easier just to look at nothing.

But eventually, I get tired of this, so I gingerly open my eyes. The room is pretty dark, the curtains are closed over the windows (I don't really see the point of opening them), but there's some warm light seeping in. Taking my phone from my pocket, I check the time.

3:17 PM.

It has been a long time, huh...? That means school's over by now. I hope Hinata-kun and Nanami-san had a good day. They probably did, seeing as I wasn't there.

Speaking of those two, I can see texts from them both. Pretending to be worried, I'm sure. But it feels kind of funny to think than even when you disappear from the lives of your classmates for a day, life just goes on. Does my existence even matter in the first place? Is this how Nanami-san felt that day?

Hinata: Hey, it's just me. Since you didn't come to school today, I wanted to see if you're alright. You okay?

No, Hinata-kun, no. How could I possibly be okay? I spent a day crying on the floor of my living room for God's sake. I could've still gone to school, I just would've been a bit late. But I give up so easily. How are things ever supposed to get better if I can't persist at anything? Not like they would anyway, my life is just a repeating cycle of disaster, and every time you think it can't get worse, it proves you wrong.

Komaeda: im fine

I don't even bother punctuating that sentence. Nanami-san sent a similar message, so I gave her the same reply back.

Hajime's POV:

"Nanami-san!" I say as soon as the message came through. "He text you back too?" She says, and I nod.

We're standing outside the school building, bathing in the afternoon light. We were really worried about Komaeda, Nanami especially. I mean, he seemed like he was getting better to us, and for him to disappear like that...it's worrying, to say the least.

Komaeda: im fine

"He...didn't even punctuate it or anything? I thought he was like, literate or something? Doesn't he normally type in a grammatically correct manner?" I mutter, rereading the text a few times.

"You're right..." Nanami hums, gnawing on her bottom lip. "So I'm guessing he's not actually fine, probably. Should we make a group chat or something, so we can both text him at once?"

"Good idea," I tell her, and before I know it, she's created it.

Nanami: Hey Komaeda, is everything okay?

Komaeda: i told you both already, im fine

Hinata: C'mon, talk to us? Please?

Nanami: We're here for you, we just want to help you.

Hinata: Yeah.

He reads the message, and there's pause before he starts typing. Nanami and I wait with bated breath.

Komaeda: you wouldnt get it. just forget about me. i know you both have your own friends and stuff. even if I disappeared youd be perfectly fine