Sapnap has always had it rough at home, and his gpa was slipping away from him. Karl was recovering from mental health issues that were caused by his mother dying recently. Both of them struggle and unlikely in a happenstance find there paths crossi...
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ART CREDIT: Done by jelly_artwork on instagram! Please go check them out!!
TW: Suicide, Self harm, Domestic Abuse
Sapnap POV
It's a Monday morning, a day that really didn't appeal to anybody, but me. I think I'm the only person to ever like Mondays. My alarm goes off and I groan as I lean to turn my alarm off my phone. It's 6:55, I needed to get up, and that was my second alarm that morning, I have one alarm to wake me up and the other alarm is to really be up and moving. I feel my feet hit the ground as I walk on the cold wooden floors. I go over to my closet, and open it, my classy white Tee shirt hung dazzling in my eyes. White Tees are my signature thing. I put on black cargo style sweatpants, and I quickly threw a black long sleeved shirt over the huge black mark that wraps around my waist, and then my white tee. I don't really believe in soulmates, I feel like the world just pairs us to two random people and expect us to become lovers for life. I think it's bull, I think that the world just wants us to have something to look forward to, to keep us alive. It doesn't matter much to me though. I've been 18 since June, and it's January, I'm already hopeless even if I did believe in it. Before I went downstairs I put on a pair of white socks. I look to see my dad passed out on the couch, the stench of alcohol and over cooked toast filled my nose. My mom is probably out at her friend's house, She's barely home and when she is it's just a lot of screaming. I loved her despite her not knowing me. I grabbed two chocolate chip granola bars, and I slid them into one of my pant pockets. I lean over and get a pair of shoes on before hitting the bathroom. I style my hair a bit so it didn't look downright messy. I brushed my teeth and I watched in the mirror as I scrubbed the bad morning breath away. Leaving the bathroom I grab my house key and I shove my laptop into my bag and zip it up. I leave the house quietly locking the door. I begin my walk to school like every other morning, My family has a lot of money, well money my mom makes and my dad takes, I live in a modern day suburban home and I have nice clothes, but other than that, home wasn't fun. I have passed drivers ed and I even have gotten a permit, but I've never been able to get a license because my mom doesn't have the time with her obsessive work habits, and my dad's drunk all the time and he's not the best driver and his car is really rough. I walk until I see my friend drive up, I stop and look down embarrassed. he pulls over and lowers the window. "Get in, Sapnap," Dream says with a playful grin, I cross in front of him and I get in the passenger seat. Dream shook his head and laughed. "What the hell did I tell you about?" I rolled my eyes as I put my seatbelt on. Dream was a blonde haired, green eyed guy with a purple soul. He was always there for me when I needed him, to be honest he's the closest friend I've got. He's seen me through some dark times, times I can't elaborate too much on, I like the dude a lot although my parents didn't. Dream has called the cops on my parents before and has argued with them for my benefit. He's like a brother, but a brother I'm not allowed to be seen with by my parents. "I know, I know, I should have caught the bus or called you." I say as I grab my granola bar from my pocket. Dream merges back onto the road, "If I catch you walking to school again you're screwed," he says through a chuckle as he turns up the volume to the booming speakers and starts singing along to "Til I Forget About You" by Big Time Rush. Of course I vibe with him, singing along and mumbling the parts I don't know. Dream was someone who everyone liked, he was quite popular, not popular to the other grades but just to us, he could make new friends instantly just by cracking a laugh. Dream was the polar opposite of me, sure we're both loudmouths but I always had trouble without thinking before I act, I get angry easily, not a lot of people like me like they like Dream, probably because they find me annoying. Only a few of Dream's friends become my friends, some feel like they have to, and others are genuine. Dream is singing his heart out next to me without a care in the world, and I sit by the window eating a granola bar, nothing but troubled thoughts in my mind. The red truck comes to a stop as Dream flawlessly parked into his assigned parking spot to the school. He pulled the keys out and tossed them up and caught them smugly in one hand, "How'd you like that?" I shook my head as I got my bag together and pulled the door open, "oh, whatever." "Oh, come on, now" He wanted me to praise his master driver skills. Dream has had a license for 2 years now and thinks he's the shit. It's fun to watch him flex his skills every now and then, but you gotta keep him humble and not applaud him, because his ego will get too big if you don't. I watched as Dream waves to a few people, and we continued walking. Once we got to the pavement outside the school a couple of kids swarmed Dream as I sneak back and throw my first granola wrapper away. I'm walking back towards the swarm of kids before Quackity, or Alex, comes my way loudly, "Sapnap, my man!" "Alex!" I simply dap him up and Quackity laughs and walks at my side. "You gotta tell me you watched The Bachelor last night." "Nah bro, the only time I've watched The Bachelor was at your house or with Dream." I say amused at how passionate he was. Alex is one friend I've made through Dream that instantly became my friend, he's a humorous kid. He's also very talented at singing, but he just sings for the jokes of it. Alex is one of my favorites of Dream's friends, though he's more of my friend than Dream's in my opinion. He was someone who would make friends with many but only talk to some on the regular. And I'm glad I can call myself as one of those people. "Well you need to watch it dude, there was this crazy cat fight last night's episode. Rebecca and Anaka got feisty. Man, you should have seen it." Alex shook his head as he walked next to me, Alex was 2 inches shorter than me, and he's my friend so I try not to look directly at him all the time to make him insecure about his height. "Bro, you know I probably won't watch what anyone recommends. I barely watch TV! I only watch it for game days." "Ugh, fine but we're binging the series next time you come over." He insists as he opens the door for me and we walk into the school. "Sounds good, and speaking of which, when can I next come over?" I ask, Quackity's house wasn't much but damn was it fun. I love going over when I could, he somehow makes me forget my struggles. He and Dream were the only people that made me genuinely happy and feel like a person. "Yo, Quackity and SappitusNappitus!" I hear Karl's voice. Karl is mine and Alex's friend, He became my friend through Dream like almost everyone but he never preferred anyone more. Karl was a dude who dressed like my grandpa and my grandma at the same time, but the girls dig that type of thing and they give him compliments on his outfits all the time. "Carlos!!" Alex yells after him quickly catching up to him to do they're "bro-shake" or so they call it. "Whaddup Karl." I say as Karl takes my hand and daps me up. Karl's hands had a big soulmate mark, he wore two rings on that hand though and it made it look cool. The mark covered the back of his hands, that's an odd spot to be touched for the first time affectionately. "Not much, I've been working a lot on homework." Karl said with a shrug on his green sweater covered shoulders. Karl was taller than me by two inches. It was a perfect line up between him, Quackity, and I. Hearing Karl talk about homework makes me sick a little. I haven't done homework in months. "I felt." Alex put in with a relatable statement that didn't relate to me at all (though it should). "Anyways let's not talk about something stressful. How are y'all?" Karl brushes his hair with his hand, no matter what hand he uses he can't hide his soulmate mark. "I've been better, but I'm hanging on." I say as my thoughts know me better than what comes out of my mouth. The sleeves on my arms cover a part of me that shows my state of mind. "I'm sorry to hear Sapnappy, but hey remember there's always light at the end of the tunnel, and besides the year just started, and we're getting closer and closer to graduation!" Karl gleamed as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder playfully. He always did have a smile on his face, I wonder how he does that. "I'm hoping you're right, Karl." I look at the vending machine, as the chips called for me, I began to walk that way and the gang followed. "What ya getting, Sapnap?" Alex asked as he took a sip of his coffee. "Oh, Quackity you just reminded me!" Karl reaches into a bag and grabs a monster energy soda. Quackity's face lit up as did mine. "You're popping off, you're popping off!" Quackity exclaimed, clapping his hand to the hand that's holding the coffee, it's a miracle that it didn't spill. "Ok, Karl I see you," I laugh as I punch in the number for a bag of doritos. "Wait!" Karl quickly jets his arm out in front of the vending machine right before I had hit the last number. "You gotta listen." Me and Alex tune in as we watch Karl carefully grab the tab, "ready and-" He cranks the tab up slowly as it gives a satisfying sizzle sound. "That was a good one!" I turn back to the vending machine and punch the last number and I swipe my card. "That was like sound porn." I pause before bending over to face Quackity, as Karl and I burst out laughing at Quackity's comment. "Woah there." I laugh as I grab my bag of chips. These two were good pals, and I appreciated them a lot. It hurts to know that I don't think I'll last much longer. I zoned out a little right until I heard the bell ring, great. "Fuck... I don't want to go to class, man." Quackity whined, he could say that again. "It's fine, we'll talk later, yeah?" Karl asks, with a warm smile. "Hopefully, See ya, Karl." I begin to walk to the stairway with Quackity. Quackity calls back to Karl, "I'll miss you Carlos!" I look back to hear Karl. shaking his head before taking a drink from his energy drink. Alex and I parted ways and I walked to my homeroom, I sat next to Dream in that class. They're was a girl named Puffy who was chatting with him, I didn't want to interrupt so I just chilled out with my second granola bar. My thoughts get clouded. I really was barely holding on. Nothing makes me feel alive anymore, and when I feel alive I feel like it's just so much shit I gotta dig myself out of until I can be happy for longer than a day. And I'm tired of having to dig. "Earth to Sapnap, hello?" Dream tapped on my desk snapping out of my daze. "You good there?" "Ah yeah, i'm fine, sorry, bro." I feel like if I throw the word "bro" in after any statement hides the fact I'm lying to him. "Alright, well I wanted to let you know I am going to get slushies on our way home, today, it's on me." Dream charmingly said, he never asked he just told me that that was the plan. He's a cocky dude, but one that we loved. "I didn't even know you were taking me home." "Well now you know." Dream laughed as he opened his phone and turned his attention away from me. It's really only him that's been keeping me alive all this time. It's sad but true. He is my only reason to keep on going, among the many reasons on why I should just quit now.
