Clinging On (KARLNAP)

Ch 10 "Security Camera"

ART CREDIT: @mypulsenotfound on instagram!

TW: mentions of self harm, Suicide Seizures, and maybe heated moments idk you tell me.

Sapnap POV

I found myself dozing off while Karl was in the shower. A strange and familiar smell crept up into my nose as I took a small breath in, not wanting to let go of the sweet smell that I couldn't put my finger on.

I look around at the bar and there Karl was, his curly fluffy hair reflecting off onto my face. He took my hand and the instrumental to Mr Brightside starting playing, no words spoken though.

The bar was filled with no familiar faces, no one even looked our way. Karl takes my hand as he leads me out the door of the bar, the speakers still played outside the music that I had fallen in love with as my nerves freaked. The muggy air wasn't effective against Karl as he had no care for the weather. In the night there was a little light and a security camera with a waterproof protection over the screen where you can see yourself. Moths and mosquitoes were flying into the light repeatedly and it casted shadows on the slightly taller boy that hadn't looked back at me since he grabbed my hands.

My eyes gravitate towards the warm hand that held a firm yet alluring grasp on mine. His skin felt like clouds against mine. The hand glittered orange, the shade of orange that had my name on it. My sleeves were rolled up, and so I looked at them and noticed not one scar or blazed bit of skin to be seen. But I did read the name written on my arm in big letters. His name on my arm glowed the color purple I recognized on his hoodie and on my torso. His name on my arm made me feel safe in the ragged outdoors outside a bar.

Karl pulled me towards him, little room was left between us. It took me by surprise, but yet I had the ability to stay upright. Karl took my other hand and guided it to his waist as I instinctively put my hand in his as he put his other arm on my shoulder. Karl looked me in the eyes and it was a shocker to see I wasn't turned to stone under his gaze.

The music lightly played, the night didn't faze Karl. He swayed with me under flickering bar light. I looked at the security camera and that's when I heard an Angel.

"Hey, don't worry about the camera, what is it going to do, jump out and split us from each other?" Karl said in a way that had his voice rumble into my ear canal as the softness yet soothing voice gave me chills.

"Well, I don't think that's why I'm looking at it because- I'm just staring at the situation." I felt myself saying, Karl took his hands off on me and he placed his hand on the side of my face.

"What's wrong with the situation?" He asked, his eyes revealing nothing but the sudden white glare of ethereal calmness.

"I just can't imagine you as mine." My words came from some great place that I can't put my finger on.

"Well I am yours... you know it's true." He said as his eyes looked down as he blushed. His freckles showed through giving my eyes something to pull towards.

"You're mine?" I felt a smile tug at my face as I couldn't control my actions or words.

"I'm yours Nick, and will be yours always." I felt my eyes going to his orange marked hands. He is my soulmate.

"Oh Karl," I felt myself saying before I felt a weird sensation of my lips on his. I could feel the warmth of his smooth lips, my stomach was enthralled by the connection. It didn't feel like I was in any control, but when I looked at the camera and at the screen between the kisses given, I saw my movements, I had a hand around Karl's waist and another on his face, as Karl's hand still remained in my face but the other one went through my hair as I watched us kiss. I couldn't feel the kiss anymore or feel my actions but I could see it in the camera. It was as if the vision I had wasn't mind. I no longer felt his lips but in the camera our lips were still displayed sliding slightly onto each other. It was like my existence wasn't real. This isn't real.