Chapter 21: On With the Show

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We rest in a forest outside of Antokiba, which Bisky pointed out when we were near the city. She advised us to drop into the river and swim to shore to avoid drawing attention to ourselves. As I let myself fall from the sky, I watch the wambari fly high and it's like time slows down. Their majestic wings hug the crystal blue air as daylight grows nearer. Sunlight glows between the gold of their wingtips. Their squawks fill the space as they continue on wherever they're going.

How can they look so free after being trapped so long? Bodies reborn, spread wide like this vastness belongs to them. Would I ever be able to feel that way again, or will my body always feel like it belongs to someone else? My past. My nightmares. Now Mattheo.

Even after swimming in the river for half an hour, water reaching every crevice of me, I still feel his flesh on mine. The way he stroked his erection against my backside and pulled my panties to the side. A room full of men were prepared to stand there and watch, thinking he was justified for putting me in my place.

I hadn't felt that powerless since I was a child. Okay, maybe a few times over the years when I was still building myself up as a hunter. But I've always found an escape, a way to outsmart or overpower my opponent. Even when they had the advantage. This was the first time in a while where someone took away my choice and all I could do was accept it. I didn't recognize myself.

It scares me to think of how many other women Mattheo likely assaulted. Women with less strength, agency, and resources than me. I could tell by how strong he became when I was subdued that it wasn't his first time. Humiliating and breaking people turns him on. Like some creep who kills animals in a tool shed. For this reason, I need to make sure he dies. So that no one else has to suffer at his hands again. Thankfully, my contract says I can bring him in dead or alive.

An interrogation is mandatory. I'll have to see what he knows about my dad. Come to think of it, I don't know what he did for a living, but it bothers me to know that he worked with someone like Mattheo. Were they friends? Did he know Mattheo the way I did? I'm always jealous of anyone who got to know my father in ways I didn't. Sometimes I wonder if he ever really wanted me. Mattheo knew enough about my dad to know mentioning him could hurt me, so I plan to have fun turning the tables.

The river is so green with algae. Water snakes ripple through the waves while turtles rest on the ground. Our arms and legs fan out between us as a run of salmon swim past and kick up dirt like we're not even there. Rust colored stripes decorate the sides of their olive bodies.

When we get to shore, we set a fire, and wring out our clothes. Afterwards, Gon and Bisky get some rest while Killua and I keep watch. Sleep is the last thing on my mind between the nightmares and what just happened, so I'm happy to have a reason to stay up. Besides, you never know what bandits might come through the woods looking to steal some cards or...something else.

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