I'm curled up in the corner of the room, shivers racking through my entire body as I try and fail to keep the all-consuming darkness at bay.
Again.
To say I'm sick and tired with my own mind is an understatement.
It has been two entire weeks. Any sane person would say that's no time at all to get over the kind of trauma I've had to experience.
Trust me. I want to give myself the luxury of several years to heal and return to a normal life. Only problem is, there's no normal for me anymore. Everything I ever was, has been stripped away, and I'm left with nothing but a blank canvas.
Blessing? Not at all. The absolute worst curse imaginable.
When people hurt they look for a safe place and a loving arm. Acceptance, warmth, familiarity.....Home.
Only I don't have those things anymore. I have nothing. Not even myself.
So no. There can be no recovery for me. No healing. No comfort. No going back to normal. I want those things, but when stacked against the need to stay alive, I cannot afford that luxury.
So I refuse to waste time trying to heal. It's never happening. Nobody is strong enough to heal themselves of the kind of scars I bear. I cannot heal. But I can definitely make them bleed.
So I lock up my demons and force my tremors to stop. Then I wash my face and make a little battle song is my head before I get to work.
They cut me down
Slam me to the ground
I bleed and bleed
But come around
I take my blood
Put it on my mouth
An armour of rust
My vengeance routh
Then I dig two graves
And take a breath
I died but I'll make them
Bleed to death
VOCÊ ESTÁ LENDO
Just Call Havoc
AçãoIt's human nature to clutch at straws when desperation sets in. I like to think my humanity died years ago, but apparently that's not the case. Because here I am clutching at the six straws of Havoc as my last resort. Times are dark and I'm damaged...
