pleasing a storm || an sbi family

emotions? what the fuck? ( but part two)

it had been a rough day. he'd gotten a B on a spelling test at school, and had been in a sour mood ever since he'd gotten home. phil was trying his best to cheer him up, but he was definitely not great at it. it was only when techno threw the homework that was having a hard time on onto the ground when phil realized. this was a bit deeper than a B on some stupid test.

techno didn't throw tantrums like most other seven year olds that phil knew. when he was angry or upset or something, he just went eerily quiet. it was almost scary- he was like some weird ass victorian ghost kid in the way that he silently sulked throughout the house. it was easier to handle, sure, but phil wasn't sure if it was exactly the healthiest way for a seven year old to be coping with his emotions.

"woah, buddy," phil looked up from the paperwork he'd been filling out. he was lucky enough to bring his work home with him when he needed to.  "what's up?" he asked techno crossed his arms.

"it's stupid. makes no sense," he explained. phil raised an eyebrow. techno rarely struggled with his homework, and when he did, he didn't go about throwing his shit on the ground, he asked phil for help.

"that's it?" phil asked. techno responded with a nod. "you're sure?" another nod. "i can help you with your homework if you need it," phil offered, skeptical, but not wanting to push too much.

"okay," techno responded quietly, getting up and retrieving the papers that were scattered on the floor as phil stood up and walked to the other side of the table beside techno. once they were all settled, phil looked at the paper. 

"alright, which one of these was giving you trouble?" he asked. techno pointed at the problem. it was seven times three. now phil knew that something was wrong. techno knew his time tables all the way up to nine basically by heart. still, he bit his tongue. "oh, right, well you know this one, tech, just count up on your fingers," he said. techno made no attempt to do this, so phil held up his own fingers- seven of them. "why don't we just both do it together?" 

"okay," techno agreed, then began counting out loud. after the first seven, they started at the first finger once again, techno's tiny fingers tapping each of phil's considerably bigger ones each time he said a number. at eight, techno seemed considerably less enthusiastic before, which was saying something considering he had been incredibly unenthusiastic. by the time they were at sixteen, he had a tear rolling down his cheek.

"woah, woah, woah, mate, we can take a break if you want to," phil offered, putting his fingers down and crouching so that he was more at eye level. techno sniffled and wiped a tear from his eyes, shaking his head.

"no it's n- it's not the math," techno explains himself, finding more tears rolling down his cheeks as did so. phil sat on his knees so that he was looking up at techno. he'd learned that this was a way to make whoever was looking down at hin feel as if they were more in control. sounded weird, but human brains tend to work in peculiar ways.

"okay, that's fine, buddy," phil placed his hands gently in techno's lap, where he carefully gripped one of his hands. techno allowed this. "do you want to tell me what's really wrong then?" he asked cautiously. techno shook his head, taking a shuttering breath and wiping his eyes with his free hand. "that's okay too. we can sit here and relax instead," he reassured. only a few seconds later, techno spoke in a meek and shaky voice.

"i-i just don't get it," he explained, looking straight ahead instead of down at phil.

"don't get what, bud?" phil asked.

"why didn't daddy want me?" techno looked down at phil, locking eyes. it was fucking heartbreaking to see. like literally- phil could feel his heart shattering into about seven billion little tiny pieces. the young boys chocolate brown eyed were shimmering with tears, and they were pouring down like they were fucking sink faucets or something. he almost barely could get himself to speak.