Does it hurt? Phan (completed)

Does it hurt? Phan #3

Hello :3 okay so next part :3 hope you all had a great Christmas. This is probably not what you were expecting at all. But, I couldn't help it X3

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There was a loud knock at the front door. Tesco was here.

Phil jumped and coughed, looking around the room. "I'll, I will go get that." He mumbled, not looking Dan in the eyes.

Dan sighed, looking down at his lap as tears grew his eyes. As Phil left the room, Dan let a tear fall onto the bed, wetting the duvets slightly. He wiped his eyes and shook his head, taking a big breath out before getting up and walking into the kitchen, waiting for Phil to come in with the shopping.

Phil bought two bags into the kitchen silently, placing them down on the counter before going back to the front door, not looking at Dan at all.

Dan's heart broke but unloaded the shopping, ignoring the tears as they freely ran down his cheeks.

Phil returned with the last of the shopping, once again ignoring Dan. He started on the lighter bag, unwrapping everything and putting it all away. Once this was done he went back to his room, closing his door behind him and falling onto his bed.

Dan quickly put everything away, before running to his room and slamming the door, immediately bursting into tears as he hid his face in his pillow.

Phil sighed and grabbed his headphones, putting them on and turning his music up full blast. He didn't like Dan. He liked him as a friend. Nothing else, and he couldn't help but feel Dan wanted more.

Dan continued to sob, lifting his head and leaning for the paper and pen that was on his table. He grabbed it and began to write a list, it eventually turning into a paragraph.

The music boomed out of Phil's headphones, blocking out every single sound around him.he sighed and switched the song to one by Muse, cheering him up slightly. He tapped his feet in time to the music, giggling as he wiggled his toes. Phil already felt much better.

Dan had stopped crying now, but tears still occasionally fell from his cheeks to his pillow, it now being damp. He continued to write, not knowing how long he would go on for. The paper had tear stains now on it, it was crumpled as well.

Phil sung quietly along to his music, completely unaware of his surroundings, he turned the music down slightly so he knew he wasn't singing too loudly as he tapped at his bed to the beat, the duvet muffling the sound.

Dan put the paper down on his desk, putting his hands over his eyes and rubbing them, before getting up and heading to his wardrobe, bringing out a pair of old shoes and a coat. He was going out.

Phil giggled as the song changed to Rebecca Black. He didn't even know why he had this song on his phone, but it made him laugh and feel warm.

Dan opened his door and stepped out into the hallway, it being unbearably silent. He shivered and made his way to the front door, grabbing his phone and keys on the way. Dan didn't know how long he would be, so he left a note for Phil in case he worried, not thinking he would anyway.

Phil heard the door slam shut and jumped up, removing his headphones from his ears and resting them on his shoulders. He frowned and got up, opening his door slowly and peering out. He frowned again, stopping his music and walking out into the hallway. Phil almost instantly noticed the note left on the top of the counter. He sprinted to it and skidded to a hault in front of the letter, reading through it carefully.

Hey,

I've gone out for a bit.

Need some fresh air.

Text me if you need me.

Dan.

Phil sighed, crumpling up the paper and throwing it in the bin. He walked toward Dan's bedroom door and peered inside, feeling quite rebellious.

Dan peered up at the sky as he got outside. It was clear and nice, the birds were singing and the sun was out. For once. He sighed and started to walk, his pace slow and shuffled. The weather was nice, but the air was cold and bitter, freezing Dan's face a little and drying the tears previously fallen. Dan kept his head low and didn't look up very often, not knowing where he was walking to.

Phil stepped into Dan's room, walking over to his bed giggling. He decided to make it and tidy a bit, so it didn't seem like he was going in his room for no apparent reason. Phil giggled and walked over to the desk, tidying slightly, picking up a piece of paper and freezing.

Dan felt his heart jolt and suddenly felt really sick, as if someone close to him had just died. He started to pant and looked around, finding a bench to sit on and calm down. Dan stumbled towards the bench, clutching his chest and breathing heavily, not caring about the strange looks people around were giving him.

Phil gulped. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know whether to scream, cry, laugh. He just stood there, completely frozen, staring at the piece of paper.

Reasons why I hate myself.

I'm stupid.

I'm 'A posh twat'

I can't help my best friend overcome his problems.

I'm fat.

I'm ugly.

I have this stupid dimple.

My flat mate is perfect.

I'm in love with my best friend. There, I said it. I love Phil Lester. He is the most perfect thing I've ever seen. His eyes are amazing, just like him. His lips are so beautiful, I just want to grab his face and kiss him forever. I would do anything to hug him again. If he wasn't here, don't get me started on that. I thought I was going to break down yesterday when I saw him there, lying on the floor. I'm petrified he will do it again. I love him so much. I could never tell him. It would ruin everything between us. I can't loose him. If I did I would proba---.

Dan.

The rest of the letter was faded and smudged from what looked like water. The ink had run and the rest was no longer visible. Phil stood motionless staring at the crumpled piece of paper. He didn't know what to do anymore. What if Dan came back and found him standing there with the paper in his hands? Phil blinked and ran back to his room clutching the paper, staring at it intensely, trying to work out the rest of the letter.

Dan gasped for breath, most of his weight rested on his arm. He coughed and choked, fighting for his breath back. Tears streamed from his eyes and hit his leg rapidly, him no longer being able to control his emotions. Dan didn't know what to do. He hurt so much, and he didn't have enough strength to grab his phone and text Phil for help. He had nothing to fall back on.

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I BET YOU HATE ME NOW HUH? Yeah, it's long yay :3