broken || sugawara x reader

13; decay

The smell of hospitals was always disgusting to him. The constant lingering smell combing through his nostrils only reminding him of the situation he was placed in, surrounded by the dying and grieving.

Sugawara Kōshi sat on the edge of her bed with his eyes trained on her sleeping face. Her cheeks had sunken in more from what he last saw as a candle slowly melting after its flame had been burned out. She was crumbling day by day with only a few signs of truly getting better.

It wasn't like she had been in here long, only a week or so. When she first woke up it was a nightmare for him to experience, trying to hold her hand while she attempted to thrash around, still highly drugged as a way to soothe the aching pain around her body. Her eyes could barely open and her mouth only formed slurs of words.

His lips parted yet not a single sound came out. Despite the constant reassurance from family and friends he couldn't help but wished he had done more. Talked to someone else, demanded she stayed with him, fought that bastard to keep her safe. His mind only boggled with dark regrets, longing for the past.

He could smell her. No matter how much they cleaned her he swore he could still smell the stench of blood clinging to her skin like a lifeline. He could smell the bruises that blossomed on her skin and the parts of her body where the skin had been cracked. This was something he would wish upon no one.

Sugawara stood up from her bed, moving to stand by the window and stare out of it. Honestly, he could have laughed. His life now felt like a movie scene. A troubled teenager with a doomed love interest, now standing at the window of her hospital room and staring out the window like some main character.

The view was a boring one but gave him something different to stare at, finding himself becoming sick at the thought of staring at her face for any longer, having to relive how much he thought he let her down.

"Sugawara-kun..." A solemn voice speaks out to him from the door. Looking over he sees his classmate standing with her holding loosely onto a bouquet, almost dropping them as she sees her old friend lying in the white bed.

The boy noticed the faraway look in her eyes. He could see the way her usual flames that burned in her irises grew dull as she looked at the laying girl. Sugawara looked away from her and back out the window, sending a small nod her way. The girl sighed before walking forward, placing the bouquet of flowers onto the small table beside her bed where two others already lay.

"Why are you here?" It was a simple question but she couldn't help but notice the toxicity it leaked. He began to watch her from the reflection of the window, her face focusing into his view as he could see her pensive expression watching the laying girl.

"Just visiting a friend." She remarked back, slight sass in her tone as she noticed the hospitality the boy held towards her. Sugawara pauses slightly, shaking his head as he sighs out, "You're not her friend Kai."

He was exhausted. Mentally and physically drained from the recent events that have led to this moment. It was as though one more small occurrence would cause his patience to be ready to harvest.

He knew a little of the last talk between (F/n) and Kai due to the loud-mouthed girl whispering to her friends each detail of the disagreement. As much as he tried to be positive, Sugawara couldn't help but look down upon Kai, blaming her for not doing enough to help (F/n) as a friend should. Then again, how far should someone be willing to go after being pushed away so much?

"I know we... I know we stopped talking a while ago but it still isn't nice to see someone like this. Can't help but feel like I should have done more too..."

The pair allows the silence to drown them, overtaking the melancholy aura in the air with a silence of understanding and peace despite the tragic circumstances.

"She always liked daisy's." The blonde girl brings her hand to play with her short hair, fiddling the strands between her fingers. "Innocence and Purity. Ironic isn't it." An obnoxious chuckle leaves her while staring at the flowers she had placed on the desk hearing the boy move towards the bed to sit opposite her.

"They're Freya's flowers. In Norse mythology she was the goddess of love, signifying new beginnings blah blah blah. She had a rough upbringing though. Raised by witches and all that. Then one day she met the kind of Asgard: Odin. Typically they fell in love and had a child called Thor aka God of Thunder."

Sugawara kept his hands in his lap, watching the floor as though it was the most interesting thing in the world as he took in Kai's words.

"Eventually (F/n) grew out of all that I guess. Don't think anyone would believe if you told them she had a Norse Mythology phase." The girl seemed almost smug at her words, proud to know so much about the broken girl laying on the bed as if she wouldn't tell all her secrets to the other popular girls beside her in school.

Sugawara clenched his teeth, disgusted by how he perceived himself to be so close to (F/n) when he clearly didn't know as much about her as the girl sitting opposite him. "What do you think will happen when she wakes up? Maybe get sent off somewhere or have to fend for herself huh?"

There was something about how vulnerable he was right now that made her feel sick. She could see the way his eyes softened under the fluorescent lights of the hospital or the way his thin lips quivered as she spoke. She could feel his weakness yet wasn't strong enough to show it for herself.

"I think you should go, Kia. She might wake up soon." Without argument the green-eyed girl stood from the bed and made her way to the door, her soft touch lingering on the handle as she walked down the empty halls, never looking back into the quiet room. She wasn't the type to ever look back, deciding it best to end this chapter for everyone, allowing a new story to start soon.

Pale fingers clasps around a cold hand, holding it tightly. Steady breathing and the small quivering of lips. Warm hazel eyes staring at a motionless face. He had hope. Faith that it will come together in the future, without or without him being by her side.