these stone walls (Dark Academia Imagine)

15. crushed

Who else was to blame but you? You got too close, too soon, the perfect recipe for a heartbreak. And there you were, crushed, miserable.

Dawn had completely shown its colors through the large school windows. You paced through the empty cold hallways until you got to your common room, and to your dorm. As soon as you closed the door, you broke down crying, on your knees. Warm tears fell off your cheeks as you held your head down.

How were you so blind, to not see the guy he was. It was no surprise to you to know he always had girls at his feet. You underestimated everything, you underestimated his ability to mess you up. And now, there he was, eyes on another girl as you sat there, curled up feeling broken.

Against the pain in your chest, you decided to stand up and get ready. Taking a deep, shaky breath you whipped your teers, promising yourself not to cry like this for a stupid moron ever again, you knew better.

The day mimicked your miserable state. As soon as you went out into the common room, Tom noticed your slightly puffy eyes, you thought you had covered them up enough, put apparently he could still notice you had been crying

"y/n , what happened, are you ok?" he said with a concerned look, you just nodded, trying not to bring much attention, in an instant he engulfed you in a deep warm hug. You sighed into him, closing your eyes strongly to not let the tears fall.

"Is it Arthur?" he said after a moment.

You nodded into him, without making a sound. Still in that tight hug.

He let out a deep breath "I'm so sorry"

You let go of him, making out a hard smile "its ok"

"We're gonna be late for class," you said.

"Let's go," he said, putting an arm around your shoulder and walking with you through the hallways.

You had always been really fond of the friendship you had with Tom. you had known him for so long, he was trustworthy and reliable. You admired the way you had conserved your friendship for so many years, not only with Tom, but with Harry and Rachel too. At least you had them.

You arrived at your first class you shared with Arthur, unlike every other day, you decided to sit on the far corner of the room, hoping he wouldn't come and sit by your side, as he had done all the other classes before. You didn't want to see his face, or smell his scent. Nothing, you were still mad at whatever intentions he had on you. At the corner of your eye, you saw him come in slowly through the door, head tilted slightly to the floor. He raised his gaze until it fell on you, and you felt it.

You felt the sickness in your stomach. You couldn't stand him. You shuffled uncomfortably in your seat with a stern face, not daring to look back at him.

He walked over and sat down in a seat from you, on your right, without looking away from you. This made you even angrier. Still, you kept the same hard expression on your face.

The class went by. You would often notice him glance at you for moments in between. Not once did you return the gaze. As soon as the bell rang you stood up rapidly, packing your books and walking out of the room as fast as you could.

The rest of the day was quite similar. You tried to avoid him in the halls, making your best effort not to accidentally lock eyes with him. You gave him no opportunity to come close to you, not in the classroom, not in between breaks, nothing.

At lunch you sat down at your usual spot, and he sat at his. Your friends must have noticed the sad expression on your face, they started talking softer as you just stared into your plate full of food. You didn't have an appetite for any of it.

They brought the topic of the academy dance, which only made you release a deep breath trying to push away the painful feeling that may come from your chest. They noticed your silent frustration, you assumed tom had already told them something.

"Well y/n" tom said. You looked up " I don't have a date to the dance, we could go together if you'd like" you smiled at him. After all he was a great friend and you thought it would be nice to go with him, far better than to go with some other douche.

"Yeah, sure" you replied with a sigh " it would be fun" and you extended him your palm, he gave you a high five and squeezed your hand softly.

Rachel and Harry looked at you with an understanding smile. "It will be fun" said Rachel "well be together"

Your friends finished their dinner, you barely ate any. You all headed to your common room and as you left the dinning you were sure, you felt Arthur's gaze on you, again, for the one hundredth time today. It reminded you so much of the painful feeling in you. You tried to think of other things that might make you feel better.

Maybe the fact that the dance was only a few nights away, and although you weren't going with who'd you'd expect to, you could still have a good time with your friends, like you always had. you thought of the nice orchestral music in the hall you would be dancing too. you thought of the bands that would be playing afterwards, making you jump and move your hips.

You thought of the dress you would be wearing, the girls in your common room would usually go out into the nearest town and buy nice gowns. You thought of it, maybe a stunning dress would make you feel better.

You'd better arrange with Tom so you could match with him, maybe a nice royal blue colour would look good on both of you. Although it might seem strange, you felt like going with Tom was kind of a natural friend thing. although it felt a bit weird, it was nothing extraordinary. That's what friends are for right? So you felt a little less lonely, whatever. You've never seen him like a romantic partner, just as a really close friend, and you were sure he saw you as that too, just as you saw Harry or Rachel.

Arriving at the common room you heard a group of girl friends talking about buying dresses and making arrangements for the dance, they looked so excited. They turned to you and rachel.

"Girls! We're gonna go to town and look for dresses, come with us, we're all going" rachel and you made your way towards them, you managed a smile.

"Yeah, sure," said rachel. You nodded at them in affirmation.

Now, at least, you were sure to get a nice dress, maybe, just maybe, to make Arthur jealous.

What a ridiculous idea, you thought to yourself. whatever .