The Secretery (SpideyPool)

Left in The Dark

Angst warning

Spider-centric third person

When Peter had left his aunt's apartment, he felt both a breath of fresh air and a sense of heart-ache. His aunt was one of the few people that he had left so it made sense that he didn't like lewvung and that he didn't like havung to end the illusion that he had a nornal life with his aunt. The heart-ache also extended to the wounds reopened by May's interrogation. Peter was lonely. He couldn't be like most people and he couldn't allow a significant other ti get wrapped up with him, it would be too selfish. He had to keep his close friends at an arm's reach as well for fear of what would happen.

Peter would not do such things if he had a choice. He was desperate for affection and while he may seemed awkward, he longed for social connection. When he entered his apartment, he was a mess of emotions that were bubbling and brewing like a cartoon potion and Pete wasn't sure if he could handle it all by himself. Felt like it would take control of him or feed off of him until he was a husk, an angry, sad husk like it was a parasite.

He punched his wall and maybe he was a bit upset and he didn't completely have a rangle of his superstrength and he ended up putting a hefty dent in the otherwise pristine white walls. With a little less force he pushed himself away from the wall with the flat of his hand slammed against the wall. He was a wreak. He stood in the center of the room, his hands were twisted up in his brown hair and his chest was heaving violently as his breaths became uneven. Panic was flooding his system and his spidey-sense was blaring under the pressure. He wordlessly sank down to the floor and was on his knees now. Tears would spill from his eyes without Peter's knowledge and he would cough as breathing became a difficult task.

The room began to spin and his vision blurred as he was nearly defined by everything going on. It was all too much. Expecting too much.

He woke up a couple hours later, his head was pounding and his muscles were sore. As his vision blinked back to him he had realized that he was on the floor. He must have fallen asleep, no that wasn't right. It had happened again and he ended up passing out. It didn't always end up with him becoming unconcious but it was not uncommon for that to occur. Common, wasn't that a sad little thing to think. It was one of the reasons that he was glad to leave his aunt's place as it always worried her too much and since they never did have very much miney there was no reason that he should worry her over a pointless endeavor. He was just being a little bit of a baby, he would need to get used to his Spidey-sense making the average worries that most people had a little bit unbearable. He knew that he had to be capable of it. Stuff was hsrd but it was haard for everyone, right?

Pete thought that he had just let his emotions get the best of him. He had been confronted by his grim reality and he hsd freaked. Peter punched the wall, this time holding back to the point where it became  soft. He cringed at the dent that he had left earlier, or last night? What time was it. He slinked over to the small kitchen and turned on his coffee machine. While he waited, he scolded himself for his childish behaviour. He knew that this was the life that he chose to live, that it was the best and only way, it was for the greater good. So why could he not just accept that?

Maybe he should just put on the suit and find his favourite mercenary and see if they could go eat? He doesn't know why but he feels like talking to Wade will help him calm down and make sense of everything. No, that's stupid, Peter had to reprimand himself. Wade had been missing from patrol and the last one that he had shown up for, he told him that he would be missing for a couple weeks. Pete had at first thought that meant that he would be out of the country but he had seen him. Maybe that meant that Wade just didn't want to hang out with the young hero? No matter if that thought was true or not, Peter didn't need to get attatached to the mercenary, even if the older man could not stay dead. Pete should examine his forming attatchment later.

It was strange and he did not like being left in the dark.