Edward's Watch Mouse Experiment

Part 3: The Concoction

For a while after the watchdog idea I retreated to my world of chemistry. My chemistry kit had ingredients for over fifty experiments that, when mixed together, could create bubbling liquids and strange smelling gasses. With my trusty pet mouse Squiggles by my side, I turned our small back courtyard shed into a science laboratory. I even donned a white lab coat and fake glasses that came with the chemistry kit. I had shelves full of jars and bottles containing all kinds of ingredients, including flour, sand and old leftover fizzy drinks of various colours that had long lost their fizz. I collected these ingredients to make the shed look like a real mad scientist lab. I was the mad scientist and Squiggles was my faithful and loyal assistant.

As time went by, I became more competent and confident in the art of chemistry and began to experiment with some of the ingredients I had collected, just to see what might happen. Mostly nothing happened and I'd end up with sticky goo that I'd have to dispose of either down the kitchen sink or, in extreme cases, the toilet. One time I blocked the toilet and Mum had to call the plumber.

Squiggles, being a mouse and devourer of just about anything that slightly resembled food, would sometimes tuck in to my failed concoctions; he especially liked the egg, flour and flat cola mix. However, he didn't like the sand, talcum powder and raspberry cordial mix. It made him cough, spin around five times and hide in the corner of his cage for nearly an hour twitching nervously.

As time went by I began to think of things I could do with my various concoctions. Maybe I could cure world hunger, fix the energy crisis, or even turn my sister to stone. However, my first effort involved a concoction that would give me super human strength, because with super human strength I could tackle the burglars single-handed. I pictured myself taking on the burglars wearing a super hero costume with cape and a large E for Edward written on the front.

I gathered the ingredients that I thought would together give me the super human strength needed. The ingredients were:

Beef jerky (for protein and strength)
Green sports drink (for stamina)
Dad's aftershave (for a butch and manly smell)
One meat pie (for that Aussie taste)

Now all I had to do was put the ingredients together.

A little bit of this

A little bit of that Into Mum's blender and

BOOM!!

Before I knew what had happened, I was covered from head to toe in a mixture far too disgusting to describe. All I can say is that meat pie and aftershave isn't very appetising. My experiment had backfired and I was back to square one.

After the explosion I decided that I needed to be a little more careful with the ingredients. I also decided that it wasn't really a good idea to experiment on myself. If I was going to succeed in taming these burglars I needed to be smarter. I would be of no use if one of my concoctions made me sick and I had to go to hospital.

The day after the explosion, I was in the shed tidying up the mess when I noticed Squiggles eating some of yesterday's experiment that had splattered into his cage. I watched him closely and it seemed to have a profound effect. Squiggles looked much more buff and had a sharp predatory look in his eyes I hadn't seen before. Perhaps I was on the right track with my experiment.

I started to turn my attention to Squiggles. I wondered if I could make a concoction that would turn him into some sort of super mouse. If we couldn't have a watchdog then maybe we could have a watch mouse. Of course the current ingredients wouldn't be enough. Right now it wouldn't matter how strong or sharp Squiggles looked; a tiny mouse could never stop two hardened burglars. I needed ingredients that would make Squiggles grow into the size of a lion. Just imagine if the burglars turned up at our house again and were met by a lion-sized mouse and with an attitude to boot! Now that would be something.

I decided to use the original ingredients in my latest experiment, even though the last mixture exploded. I was on a good thing with the beef jerky, green sports drink, aftershave and meat pie. It definitely made Squiggles stronger and more alert. I now needed ingredients that would make Squiggles larger. I already had plenty of ingredients in the shed, but none I thought would do the job.

The kitchen seemed to be the most logical place to look first, but I had no idea what could make Squiggles grow - and grow quickly. It was all a bit of a guess. Altogether I had collected:

Coffee (to stimulate growth)
Milk (for strong growing bones)
A raw steak (for muscle growth)
Curry powder (for a kick-start)
Cheese (for taste)
Beef jerky (for protein and strength)
Green sports drink (for stamina)
Dad's aftershave (for a butch and manly smell)

One meat pie (for that Aussie taste)
Back in the shed I began to mix the ingredients together. A little bit of this
A little bit of that Into Mum's blender and
BOOM!!
Again, I was covered head to toe in a disgusting concoction that included raw steak, curry powder and meat pie. It wasn't pleasant! However, my main concern was with Squiggles, because again some of the mixture had splattered into his cage, and he was giving it a try.

I watched and waited as Squiggles lapped up the last of what was in his cage. He looked up at me again with that same predatory look he had before. He had also buffed up a little more and looked like a miniature professional wrestler.

For a moment I thought nothing else was going to happen. Then Squiggles' demeanour changed. Instead of the steely, predatory look, he changed to a look of surprise. His eyes opened wider than I had ever seen before, his nose twitched violently and his mouth grimaced.

FAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!!!!!!!

Squiggles farted so loudly and so powerfully that the shed shook and the door blew open. The smell was ghastly and I could hardly breathe! I nearly passed out from the toxic fumes. Next time I'll avoid the curry powder.

I felt as though I was so close to turning Squiggles into a super mouse. Squiggles' muscles had grown considerably and he began an exercise regime that included running laps around the edge of his cage, push-ups, sit-ups and star jumps. He was also spending ample time admiring himself in front of his mirror. The only ingredient needed was one that would make Squiggles grow to at least the size of your average watchdog.