Edward's Watch Mouse Experiment

Part 11: The Health Department

The next few days were relatively normal. The chicken shop was doing a great summer time trade, Alyssa and I were back to our old game of throwing golf balls at set rat traps out the back of the shop, and Squiggles spent hours throughout the day pumping iron and admiring himself in front of the posing mirror.

However, just as things were getting back to normality, there was an important phone call at the shop - the phone call that Mum and Dad dreaded. It was a call from Nat, the health inspector. She rang to arrange a time to inspect the premises.

A visit from Nat always causes Mum and Dad serious stress. You see, Nat's job as the health inspector involves checking thoroughly that the premises is clean, tidy and hygienic. There should be no flies, cockroaches, mice, rats or any type of vermin, a difficult thing to achieve at a busy chicken shop in the summer time.

Nat takes her job very seriously indeed. She frowns upon anything that diverts from the health department's strict regulations. Unfortunately, Nat doesn't take kindly to jokes about hygiene and this is unfortunate because when Dad is nervous, he makes jokes about whatever is the topic of the moment. With the health inspector Nat around, the topic of conversation is usually...hygiene.

The appointment was made for two days time and, for those two days, Mum and Dad were in a tizz, frantically cleaning the shop inside and out - all while the shop was busy with customers. Alyssa and I helped where we could. Anyway, we couldn't play our favourite rat trap game because all the traps were set throughout the kitchen. Dad even stepped on one while cleaning the cookers. I won't repeat what he said, but it was very unsavoury, and his big toe turned black and blue. I joked to Dad that his toe looked like that gigantic cockroach he found in the deep fry vat last month. Dad didn't laugh.

On the day Nat arrived, the shop was spick and span. Luckily Mum remembered to remove all the rat traps. The traps definitely did their job. Over the two days they managed to catch seven rats, five mice and Dad's big toe. Hopefully no rats or mice would appear during Nat's inspection.

Nat arrived early in the afternoon just after the lunch time rush. Nat was a short and stern looking middle-aged woman, who wore glasses with small round lenses to accentuate her beady green eyes. Her dark hair was always tied back tightly. Today she was dressed in very conservative beige pants, beige high heeled shoes and a beige jacket. She looked a little like Mum and Dad's bedroom curtain.

As Nat walked into the front entrance of the shop, she tucked her black clipboard under her arm while she slapped on a pair of white gloves. After this, she proceeded to run her right index finger over every surface she could reach throughout the restaurant section of the shop, obviously looking for dust and grime. Nat ran her finger over chairs, tables, ledges and the front counter.

Finally, Nat presented herself to Mum and Dad. 'Good afternoon, I hope all is well.' She said in her usual cold, but polite manner.
'Ah yas thank you Net, um I mean Nat,' Dad said, already stumbling with his words. 'How are you? Hope you didn't trip over any large rats on the way in.' You see what I mean by Dad trying to make jokes when he's nervous? Mum chipped in, 'What my darling husband means is that he hopes you didn't trip over the new mat on the way in. Didn't you, dear?'

'Yes, yes that's it,' Dad said in a quick and still nervous voice. 'That's exunctly what I mean. I mean exactly, exactly what I mean.'
'Yes, quite,' Nat replied. 'Well perhaps you can let me through and I can have a look at the rest of the premises. Everything looks fine in the front of the shop.' Nat then opened her clipboard and noted down something. So far so good!

Mum let Nat through to the back of the shop where the kitchen was located. This was usually the greasy and grimy part of the shop, especially on the floor and around the cookers, but not today. Today it was as clean as a hospital ward. All the white surfaces of the kitchen were gleaming and you could see your reflection off the stainless steel cookers. I don't think the shop had looked this clean since it was built!

Mum, Dad, Alyssa and I remained behind the front counter while Nat inspected the kitchen area. There were only two customers in the shop at the time and they were enjoying a late lunch at one of the tables. We waited apprehensively, but were confident that the inspection would pass with flying colours. Even Dad was starting to calm down now that Nat was out of his sight. Her presence certainly had an effect on Dad.

Mum put her hand around Dad's shoulder to reassure him as the two customers left the shop.
'It's okay, dear, everything will be fine. We didn't leave a stone unturned back there.'

'I guess you're right,' Dad said, sounding a little calmer. 'Only a few more minutes and this will all be...'

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GULP, GULP, GULP!

We were distracted by a large scream from the kitchen that must have been Nat. The sound was followed by a series of gulping sounds. We all hurried through to the kitchen and couldn't believe our eyes. Standing there by the back entrance was Squiggles, with two legs sticking out from his mouth. He was eating the health inspector! We knew it was Nat because we recognised the beige high heels.

Before anyone could say anything, Squiggles made one last gulp and completely swallowed Nat. It must have been a shock to her. It was certainly a shock for us. We all just stood there with our jaws dropped. Squiggles just licked his lips and gave us a wink. It was like he knew the stress Mum and Dad were under and decided to solve it himself.

Squiggles had once again chewed through the net at home. So this time Dad and Mr Maddocks fully enclosed the yard with cage wire from fence to fence. It was a giant mouse cage for a giant mouse.

The disappearance of Nat was, and continues to be a mystery within the community. Police and detectives were unable to find any clues. Mum and Dad said nothing. Well, what could they say?