Hi! My name is Edward and I'd like to tell you a story.
No ordinary, boring grown-up type story, but a story about the time I became the greatest ten year old scientist in the history of the world! All I really wanted was to solve our family's burg...
Thank goodness things settled down after the health inspector fiasco. Squiggles seemed to be well and truly enclosed in his giant makeshift cage and it was business as usual at the chicken shop.
Each night Mum, Dad, Alyssa and I took great pleasure in sitting on the back steps watching Squiggles go through his rigorous exercise regime, that seemed to get more and more intense as time went by.
Squiggles' Exercise Routine
20 minute run on the treadmill 20 minutes on the ski machine 20 minutes on the exercise bike 3 sets of 20 front leg curls using 20kg weights on each leg
3 sets of 50 push ups 3 sets of 20 bench presses using 80kg 20 minutes in front of the posing mirror
We were getting tired just watching him, and Mum and Dad were getting a little tired of washing his numerous sweat towels and singlets. However, Squiggles was enjoying himself and we were all feeling a little guilty keeping him couped up in the back courtyard all day, every day.
One Sunday night we were all, including Squiggles, enjoying a night in front of the television eating cheese and crackers and watching the movie, Of Mice and Men. Dad was sitting in his lounge chair with Squiggles on his knee while Mum, Alyssa and I were snuggled up on the couch.
Being summer we would sometimes leave a window or two open while we were home to let in any cool breeze. This night was no exception. Often on these nights, Mr and Mrs Edward's cat Poopy paid us a visit. Again, this night was no different.
Poopy loved to enter the house through one of the open windows and make himself comfortable on a blue beanbag we had situated in the back corner of the lounge room. None of us minded because Poopy was no trouble. He'd just lie there on the comfortable beanbag purring away to his heart's content.
This particular night, Poopy entered through one of the open windows and made his way quite contently into the lounge room, hopped up on the beanbag and quietly purred away. At this stage Squiggles hadn't noticed Poopy and Poopy hadn't noticed Squiggles, but all that was about to change.
After about ten minutes of Poopy purring quietly on the beanbag, he decided to turn onto his back and stretch his legs. As he did this it caught the corner of Squiggles' eye. Squiggles' head turned sharply towards Poopy, his red pupils grew larger and his nose screwed up disapprovingly. Then it was on!
Squiggles leaped off Dad's knee across the room at Poopy. Poopy jumped to his feet and took off towards the kitchen with Squiggles chasing behind. The noise was horrendous as plates, glasses, pots and pans were sent crashing in all directions. Poopy then came through the lounge room again with Squiggles close behind. This time Dad's bowl of half- eaten apple crumble and Mum's café latte went flying. Dad grabbed onto Squiggles' tail as he ran past, but Squiggles was too strong and poor old Dad was just dragged behind. Poopy made quick time through to my bedroom and made a leap for the open window, but before he could make it through...
CHOMP
Luckily for Poopy he didn't meet the same fate as Nat the health inspector. However Squiggles did manage to be rewarded. He chomped off poor Poopy's tail.
Now while in the process of chomping off Poopy's tail, Squiggles also made a leap towards the window. It was sort of a flying chomp. Let's not forget that dear old Dad was still holding on to Squiggles' tail and fearing for his life!
If only I had a camera at the time because, as I rushed into my room followed closely behind by Mum and Alyssa, we saw flying through my bedroom window Poopy, then Squiggles, and then Dad. Poopy and Squiggles actually looked quite graceful as they jumped through the open window. It was like watching theatre. Unfortunately Dad's exit wasn't so elegant. He had been swinging from side to side, holding onto Squiggles' tail. So before Dad went through the window he managed to take out several books on my book shelf, my wall clock, a variety of stuffed animals and finally my lamp and bedside table.
Over time Poopy recovered quite well from his altercation with Squiggles and so did Dad. Dad ended up with only a few minor cuts and abrasions, not to mention his dented pride. Mr and Mrs Edwards never found out the real reason why Poopy's tail became missing one balmy Sunday summer's evening, and Mum and Dad never said a thing. Well, what could they say?
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