Hi! My name is Edward and I'd like to tell you a story.
No ordinary, boring grown-up type story, but a story about the time I became the greatest ten year old scientist in the history of the world! All I really wanted was to solve our family's burg...
It didn't take long for people to begin asking about the reason behind Squiggles' magnificent physique. It seemed that everyone in the city wanted a watch mouse of their own. Well, who wouldn't want one? Squiggles was charming, handsome, intelligent and bubbling with charisma.
I remembered what old Mrs Murphy had told me about the lucrative cash bonanza my concoction had the potential of creating. It wasn't long before Dad and I were in the shed producing our first bottles of Edward's Watch Mouse Formula. We decided to keep the recipe a tight secret.
The secret recipe was;
Coffee (to stimulate growth) Milk (for strong growing bones) A raw steak (for muscle growth) Cheese (for taste) Beef jerky (for protein and strength) Green sports drink (for stamina) Dad's aftershave (for a butch and manly smell) One meat pie (for that Aussie taste) Two eggs (for extra protein) A frozen Barramundi (for extra, extra protein) Some self-raising flour
We sold it for $200 per 500ml bottle. I know it sounds a lot, but people were happy and very willing to pay for this extraordinary formula. It wasn't long before demand outweighed supply, so Mum and Dad decided to sell the chicken shop and go into producing the formula full-time. It wasn't really a risk. After all, when you can make $200 for a bottle filled with everyday household ingredients compared to $5.95 for a Barossa Pack (quarter chicken and chips with a grape juice), there's really no comparison.
Eventually we had to expand and buy a factory to mass-produce the formula. A large sign was placed above the front entrance.
EDWARD'S WATCH MOUSE FORMULA
Powder Puff to Mega Tough
We were making so much money! Even with the factory producing formula around the clock, it was difficult to keep up with demand. Soon many houses all over the country had their own watch mouse and the crime rate for home burglaries was practically zero. The local police were so happy that they adopted Squiggles as their official mascot. Every police uniform had a picture of Squiggles on each shoulder.
Mum and Dad were able to hire staff to work and manage the factory. This gave them the spare time they always craved. It was great to see them so relaxed and able to spend more time with me, Alyssa and of course, Squiggles. I hoped that the formula would help Mum and Dad. They had worked so hard day after day and night after night at the chicken shop with little reward.
We even had Hollywood stars ordering the formula by the truck load. Anyone who was anyone in Tinseltown had their own watch mouse. Hollywood Boulevard and Rodeo Drive took on a new look, with celebrities taking their watch mice for walks each day. Poodle and chimpanzee sales took a dive to make way for the new and exclusive designer pet. Plus, neither a poodle nor chimpanzee was any good protecting a star's mansion, but a watch mouse was a force to be reckoned with!
As for Squiggles himself, well he became a star in his own right. It seemed that the original recipe was the best. Squiggles starred on television talk shows, even though he couldn't talk and only nodded and shook his head to answer questions. He played roles in a variety of Hollywood blockbusters such as The Mouse Before Time and Big Mice Don't Cry. Everyone adored him and I was so proud.
Squiggles eventually purchased a Hollywood mansion, bought a fitness club chain, got married, and had two mouslettes. However, he still found time in his busy schedule to come back home and visit us. We kept his makeshift gymnasium in our back courtyard to make Squiggles feel at home anytime he returned.
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