love to die for | mattia polibio

f o u r t y n i n e

'you have fifteen minutes' i heard a voice say from just out of sight.

'come on-' mattia muttered under his breath.

'that's the most i can give you.' the voice responded.

mattia nodded solemnly in response.

his silhouette stood tall in the doorway, the brightness of the light outside contrasting against the dim room i sat in.

however, i was still able to discern his sharp features with ease.

his skin was still as smooth as ever, and his hair was slightly messy, which somehow made it look even better.

he was dressed head to toe in tattered orange overalls, which were were slightly too long and bundled around his ankles. one of his short sleeves was rolled up, displaying his biceps which seemed to have gotten bigger since the last time i'd seen him.

a pair of silver handcuffs twinkled and glimmered from around his wrists, and so did the shackles that scraped painfully around his feet.

'can you?' he asked the person, offering forward his hands.

'fine, but the leg cuffs stay on.' i could just about make out the voice say.

mattia turned back to me with his hands free, his gaze met mine and our eye contact never broke.

the sound of the chains dragging against the floor became louder as he came closer, and i wasn't able to tell whether the water forming in my eyes had come from my inability to look away from him or from the pain that was seeing him in such a desolate place.

the door slammed shut behind him, and then we were alone.

my heart raced as i tried my hardest to fight the swelling urge to throw myself into his arms.

a moment or two later mattia and i were barely an inch apart, and the tension was unbearable.

i gave in, the muscles in my body forcing me against him without even consulting with my conscience.

i wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close as i buried my face in the warmest shoulder in the world, i felt like i was finally home again.

his arms snaked around my back, pushing his fingertips against my skin and squeezing me as hard as he could without hurting me.

the way he held me, and grasped me like i was the most valuable person to ever exist, that was how i knew he had missed me just as much as i'd missed him.

feeling his eyelashes batting against my skin, his soft lips brushing against my jawline, and his fingerprints sinking into my back.

i moved slowly to face him, still continuing to comb through the back of his hair with my fingers.

electricity crackled between us as i stared into him in awe.

'i missed you.' i whispered.

'i missed you, too.' he replied.

i beamed up at him, smiling genuinely for the first time in months.

suddenly, a shadow of confusion washed over mattia's face.

he pushed me away gently, shocking me with the unwanting gesture, spreading his confusion to me.

'what is it?' i furrowed my brows as i watched him inspect my body.

'your asking me?' he replied, 'what happened to you?' a hint of panic arising in his voice.

it finally dawned upon me that he was referring to my baby bump, or lack thereof.

'oh, no, mattia, it's fine- listen, let's sit down and i'll explain.' i said, holding his hands and sitting him down.

i sat on his lap casually, feeling inclined to stay as close to him as possible, for as long as possible, and in response he wrapped his hands around my waist and held me tightly.

it felt like we had never been apart.

'the baby was born.' i said.

'what? when?' he asked desperately.

'only a couple months ago, it's a girl. eliza.' i told him.

'really?' he said, his face entirely lighting up with joy, unable to contain his excitement.

'yes, really!' i giggled at his reaction.

out of nowhere, i felt his hands on my face, pulling me into him.

the kiss was ethereal. it was everything i had been missing summed up in a matter of minutes.

'they're gonna see us.' i laughed quietly between breaths.

'don't worry about it.' he continued pressing his lips against mine, smiling.

eventually, we stopped, mattia seemed to have something on his mind.

'hey, are you okay?' i asked, pushing a few strands of hair away from his face and pulling his face up to look me in the eyes.

'i just wish i could've been there.'

'well, if it makes you feel better, it was a c section and i was unconscious, so technically, i wasn't there either.' i sniffed, pretending that the whole situation hadn't been haunting me.

'a c section?' he questioned.

'mhm.' i replied as happily as possible.

'why didn't you bring her?'

'i just wanted to be alone with you.'

'well, the guard on watch is secretly pro-love, so it's our lucky day.'

'no way, that's awesome,' i said, 'speaking of.. how are you holding up in this place?'

'they make me spend most of my time away from the other prisoners, but from the small amount of social interaction, they seem to, i don't know, respect me? i feel like most of the people here are pro-love, whether they say it explicitly or not. it's okay. don't waste time worrying about me.' he explained.

'that's a relief, then, but mattia,' i sighed, 'you do know i won't let them do.. it to you, right?'

'i know it's scary, y/n, but the sooner we accept that they're gonna kill me, the sooner we both get to sleep easier.' he said quietly.

his words pierced through me like the sharpest blades imaginable.

'no. they're not. i'm working on something.' i said, and i had been.

i'd been gathering as many willing people as i could, and i'd been keeping it under wraps but i was hopeful.

'there's nothing either of us can do, and it's okay - just don't give me hope.' he said.

'well, i'm not gonna sit around and do nothing. i refuse to raise eliza without you.' my voice cracked slightly.

'let's just enjoy the time we have left together, y/n.' he said, tracing the outline of my face with his thumb.

'but-'

'time's up.' the voice from earlier reappeared, pulling the metal door open.

'i love you.' he rushed his goodbye.

'i love you.' i replied quickly, getting up off his lap.

he stood up and began making his way out, but turned around just before he reached the door.

'promise me you won't do anything.' he grabbed one of my hands.

'fine. i promise.' i sighed in response.

but i think we both knew that was a lie.