•Sixteen•

870 28 14
                                    

Word Count: 1008

Warnings: Foul language, a breakdown, sexual jokes.

Song for chapter 16 - "I'll Be Good" by Jaymes Young.

***

MARCH

I sighed, staring out the window. I heard Alyssa laugh behind me. I turned to her to question why she laughed.

"That's like the hundredth time you've sighed next to the window. Do you think you're in some kind of dramatic movie?"

"No! I'm just...thinking."

"About...?

"I- Um- It's nothing important."

"If it wasn't, you wouldn't be doing that."

"I'm just bored, I don't want to do math."

"Well, you came here for that, didn't you? What was the point of you coming here then?"

"Alright fine, I'll try to continue the homework."

"Maybe you want some tea? You seem kind of stressed out. Tea will help you relax."

"Sure, just don't take too long. I might burn the math book."

Alyssa went to make the tea. I sighed for the 101st time. Was it really math that I was stressing about? Probably, for the most part, yes. The other things I wasn't ready to face, not even in my mind. It is kind of selfish, really. I mean, see a friend exhibit behavior and copy it right away? I shook my head, trying not to think about it. It wasn't the time to stress about it. Plus, Alyssa came back with the tea.

"Here you go,"

"Ah, shit! It's fucking hot!"

"Well, what did you expect? Goddamn it, I made it for nothing. Well, go clean it up now, it's not as if you'll drink it from your clothes."

...

"You done? Are you alright? How far in your mind did you get stuck in for you to not realize common sense?"

"What got your panties in a twist? I'm just simply living."

"And I'm just worried. That's why I might have come off a little harsh, I'm sorry for that. Well, are you going to tell me what's on your mind?"

"If you'll tell me what's in that container."

"Uh, I'm not comfortable discussing that."

"Neither am I about my thing."

...

"How about we watch TV? I mean, all you've been doing is trying to teach math to a brick wall. A few minute break wouldn't hurt anyone."

"It might hurt your grades...?"

"Jesus, it'll only be like half an hour. Plus, it's getting late anyway. We can't study forever, I'm going to start getting nightmares about numbers. 69 69 69 69-"

"Alright, alright, calm down. Fine, we can watch some TV."

"Yaaayyy!! Finally, I was dying."

"Don't be so dramatic!"

***

I tried to open the door to the arcade, but it was closed. It wasn't even that late, so why was it fucking closed? I looked around for anyone who could tell me why.

"Hey, buddy, the arcade is closed. Move along." I flinched when the arcade door behind me suddenly opened and a scrawny, nerdy looking guy came out. I assumed he was a new employee.

"No fucking shit, Sherlock."

"What'd you say, smartass?"

"Doesn't matter."

"That's what I thought. Now go back to wherever you came from. God, I hate teenagers." He mumbled to himself. I rolled my eyes and turned around. It sucked that I came here for nothing, I had to just think of something else to do. I decided on getting some ice cream and walking around the park. I didn't want to go back home.

Why was I so stupid to let my mouth slip? I can never keep my mouth shut. Though, that's part of my charm, isn't it? The charm that makes everyone annoyed and repulsed by me.

Why the fuck did I write that letter in the first place? What was the fucking point? There was no positive outcome from that. Only a neutral one, if I hadn't told anyone. Oh God, oh why did I have tell? Well, it doesn't matter anymore. Not really. Whatever will happen, will happen, I guess.

***

"Hey, Y/N!" I turned my head to see the familiar golden haired girl approaching me.

"Hi, Penny. How are you? We haven't talked in a while."

"Yeah, exams and all. I came to invite you to my party, if you want to, you can come. No pressure."

"Why are you having a party if you still have other exams left?"

"To de-stress, obviously."

"Well, I wouldn't say parties help you relax, but I'll think about it. I'm not promising anything."

"Alright, then I'll see you around or at the party. Bye, Y/N!"

"Bye, I guess."

...

I laid back in bed. My mind drifted again. I can't. I can't think about that. I'm not. I could never be. Stop it. Thoughts of a familiar face popped up. I'm not that! I could never be! I'm just replicating Alyssa's behavior. It's not me.

I screamed into my pillow. Tears were dripping down my face. Pathetic. Weak. Selfish.

"Hey, Y/N? What's wrong...? Y/N?!" I heard banging on my door. I yelled even louder.

"STOP IT! STOP IT!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Y/N, LET ME IN! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" Someone else came and kicked the door down.

I felt two people dragging me out of bed and shaking me, scaring me even more. What is happening? I want to die. It hurts so much. Stop it. Stop it!

"STOP IT, PLEASE!" I cried out. I can't take this anymore.

"Let's call the doctors or something?? Please? We got to do something."

"Stay calm, it's going to be fine."

"HOW CAN I BE CALM WHEN MY BABY IS IN PAIN?!"

"I'm sure he's fine. He's just having a little breakdown is all."

"Oh, fuck you. I won't allow you to deal with this right now. Leave him to me and go away."

I covered my ears with my hands, why was it so loud? I want it to stop. I want it to stop!

"Come on, baby. We're gonna get you in the shower. It's going to be fine. It's going to be alright." A soothing voice came.

"NO, IT'S NOT! DON'T TOUCH ME!"

"Slow down, breathe. Remember where you are. It's me, your mom."

I hyperventilated.

"Leave me alo..." Darkness came over me.

***

Tried out a new writing style. Tell me if you like it.

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