Listen before I go

Chapter 9; Grief, Comfort.

Hey peps, you might want to listen to Conversations in the dark by John Legend💕.

The sun rays pierced their way through my closed eyes and I woke up. It was thirty minutes after eight in the morning when I woke up. It took sometime for the happenings of last time to refresh their way back into memory. When I remembered everything that happened last night,I rushed into the bedroom to check how Cole was doing.

I saw him on the bed,he held onto himself tightly as if he was feeling cold yet the weather was warm. But I would  know better than anyone what that feeling was,it was fear. He held on tighter and tighter as he cried in his sleep. I knew how he must have felt for I have felt that way many times before. It's the feeling of loneliness. That feeling of being the only one left in the world,that feeling that there's no one left who cares,that feeling that there's nothing left worth fighting for and if care not taken,that fear can lead a person to believe that there's nothing left worth living for. I have known this feeling,Cole got me through it even though he didn't know it,now it was my turn.

I walked over to him,grabbed the blanket and covered him with it. He held on to it tightly but he continued to shiver. I held his hands and I whispered into his ears, "everything's going to be ok". Even in his sleep,it would seem he heard me for he stopped shivering. I tucked him in properly then I went to the kitchen. I prepared the soup Mrs Jean would usually make for me. I went into the bedroom with a bowl of warm soup. I laid the soup on the nightstand and I tried waking him up. But it would seem like he was having a bad dream. He kept turning and turning over in the bed,he made desperate requests to whatever it was that was troubling him in his dream to stop. He let out loud whimpers. I held him tighter. I reassured him in his sleep that everything was going to be okay. He struggled with me for s while but eventually,he gave in. He held on tightly to me now and he let his emotions out. He cried bitterly and I felt his pain,it was a great deal of pain. I patted his back as he cried.

His cries began to die into loud whimpers and he began to open his eyes. He rose up and sat on the bed. He wiped away his tears and looked down at himself and saw that he had sweated a lot. He turned around and he lay his eyes on me.
"How-how did I end up here? Where-where am I!" He stammered.
"You came in drank last night" I told him.
"What?" He sounded surprised. Then he looked at himself and saw that he had only his underwear on his skin ,he turned around again and looked at me "did you take off my clothes?" He asked.
"Oh yeah,then I gave you a shower and then I tucked you into bed" I said trying to sound normal.
He shot a very strange, questioning look at me and I understood what it meant.
"Oh no,don't worry I didn't take off your underwear,that's how come you still have them on" I said with a giggle.
"Oh,good" he said with a faint smile. "Wait,are you crying? What happened?" He asked after he saw the tears in my eyes.
I had been so caught up in the moment that didn't even realize I had shed some tears myself. Then again I was amazed at how he was concerned about me even as he was going through a tough time himself.
"Oh it's nothing" I shrugged it off "here,I made you some soup" I said and I offered it to him.

I waited for him till he had it all. I took the bowl from him and placed it on the nightstand again then I asked him, "hey,are you alright? Would you want anything? Maybe you'd like to talk?" I asked him.
He looked at me strangely.
"Actually,Mrs Jean told me everything, about Tina?" I said.
He looked questionably at me then said "oh,no I'm good"he said trying to sound fine.
"I know I'm the last person to talk to for comfort or anything considering how messed up I am myself but it would do you good to let your feelings out" I said.
"I said I'm okay" he said.
"Oh but-" I tried saying but he cut me off "Billie! I said I am fine!" He yelled.
"Oh ,alright,I,I'm sorry, that's all good,I'll just go and wash this" I stammered and I grabbed the bowl.

"Our father died a few years after we born,it was hard,for both if us because mom was never around,even now,she never is. It was only dad we actually ever had so his death was difficult." He began.
I turned around,placed the bowl on the bed and sat next to him as he continued to speak.
"After that,mom sent Tina and I to a local boarding school. Tina was never a social kind of person,she was actually quite like you actually so in boarding school she never really had any actual friends so I did my best to make sure she never felt alone. I'd buy her stuff,get her food from the canteen for her,sit with her in the library,you name it." He began to cry.
"Hey, hey,it's okay. You don't have to talk about it if you can't alright?" I said softly.
"It's okay. I want to talk about it. I have to, actually. After high school,we couldn't stay in the school anymore so we came back home. Mom wasn't there,she never was. She would call us once in a while,she would send us some money from time to time to cater for our needs but it wasn't always enough so I took up some jobs to help me care for myself and Tina. We were eachother's keepers you know. Until one day I came back from work and found her, unconscious on the floor. I called an ambulance and had her taken to a hospital. That's when the found out that she was dying." He paused. "I called mom,but she didn't come. She came after a couple of weeks and only stayed for a few days,then left again. I came to the hospital after one of my night shifts and found Tina alone. The nurses said my mother left. Tina asked me not to get mad at her so I didn't. That's when I quit my job and took up this one so I could spend more time with her. When they said she only had a few weeks left,I didn't have time to be sad. All I could think of was to spend more time with her,so I did. I didn't every little time I had with her. Then yesterday I went there and after speaking to her for a few minutes,he breathing got unstable,I called the nurses in,the checked her and said there was nothing left they could do. Nothing left?! How could they say that?! They could have tried to save her,she was all I had!" He yelled out.

I hugged him tightly and he cried on my shoulder.

"Tina was all I had! Now she's gone!" He cried.
"It's okay,it's okay. She may be gone form this earth but she's still a part of you. You'll always have that. Did- did you call your mom?" I asked, instantly regretting the question.
"No I didn't. She doesn't deserve to know. At least not now" he said.

For the rest of the day,I sat in bed with him and he cried his heart out. He cried for hours,he was hurt. The eventually,he stopped and drifted off into sleep.

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Grief. The one thing that even the strongest of hearts are not immune to. It comes in all forms but the grief that comes from losing a loved one is a kind of grief that might as well be the most painful. People grieving tend to feel dejected and alone sometimes. They're hurt. Sometimes we may or may not know the cause of someone's grief but we can try our very best to comfort them!. we must! We owe it them!. When grieving,even the smallest gesture of kindness is needed.

Nketia💕