I was 55.5 today. Surely doesn't look like it because I'm bloated. Had a lot of salt yesterday. And this is gross but I didn't go to the toilet in a few days. Ugh I hate that. But I just can't. Big downside of an ED.
So I didn't gain and I think I even lost 0.5. But mommy stupid self wants to eat today? Wth?
Why do I want to eat. I'll read what I wrote a few days ago. I was so motivated then.
I have vacation week next after today. I'm a bit worried. In vacations you do less and eat more. I have to control myself and exercise and make sure I don't eat too much.
And I HATE weekends. Every week has weekend. In the weekends you have no school and on Saturday we have crisps and Sunday is big breakfast. I love crisps and I love breakfast and if there's no school, you have so much more time.
Ugh but should I eat or not? I don't know, I shouldn't but I don't think I can keep myself from eating today.
Oh no, Friday after the vacation I have a big biology test. On THREE chapters. It's fucking biology??? That's difficult and it's so much. And it's not like we did this topic partially in an earlier year. I'm going to fail so hard. And I have to study the whole vacation. Thank you biology for ruining my vacation.
Currently I have insufficients for German and maths. But I'm worried about biology and chinese. My Chinese used to be so good but now I'm failing so hard ohwww, and biology is hard and I'm only doing it for fun it's an extra subject, I could drop it but I rather not. I can drop one subject, I wish I could drop maths lol. Seriously though, why am I learning about parabolas? I am not going to do anything with maths in my future. I want to do geography, cultural.
I ate.
I had porridge with peanut butter and banana. Honestly, it didn't even taste that great. I'll make sure to exercise today and this vacation I won't spend gaining weight but losing weight. I won't eat much and I will exercise/dance a lot. I will be underweight before my next clinic appointment, I promise.
- porridge
- 2 toast w butter and cheese
- 4 cookies
- veggie loempia
- Apple
- crisps
The veggie loempia surprisingly only had 190 kcal heh. I ate a lot I know but I will exercise in a bit.
YOU ARE READING
Diary of an anorexic
Non-FictionI use this as my diary. I write down all my thoughts and I hope it'll help me.
