Weight: 56.?
Still on my period ugh
Had a lot of cramps today, I hope related to my period. I want it to end. So I won't be bloated anymore, weigh less and not have cramps.
My mum says I could get the pill which will help with the cramps. I really want that, not just for my period but also cuz I'm having sex so would be good but I don't want my mum to know cuz she doesn't even know who and I can't tell her cuz he's not my boyfriend lol
Today I ate 4 apples and dinner. I didn't exercise. Last night I couldn't sleep and finally fell asleep at 4 or 5 and then woke up today at 1. I planned to study and dance because I have testweek next Friday and I have to hand in a dance audition April 19th. But these last two days I haven't done anything..
I feel awful. What if gained weight?!! I want to lose weighthttt. I hate myself for not exercising. All I did was play Genshin.. I fucking hate myself. I want to fucking lose
I hate my ed. I love it but I absolutely hate it. I want it to stop, go away. But what if it will never really go away. What if I can never let go of not eating. It's scary. What if this will never get better. What if life will never get better. For 2.5 years I haven't been enjoying life. How much longer do I have to feel like this? Much longer and it isn't worth it anymore.
YOU ARE READING
Diary of an anorexic
Non-FictionI use this as my diary. I write down all my thoughts and I hope it'll help me.
