I gained all my weight that I lost last week back. That's upsetting. And I look so big, it's disgusting. Today I will eat... but from Monday on I will restrict again.
Only dinner and exercise a lot
I need to see myself get thinner again and lose weight. Especially because I need to do it now if I want to be underweight before the next appointment.
☆ I usually do the dishes to burn some extra calories. I remember when I was at my lowest and I actually saw my skinny legs in the reflection. I was dancing and cleaning and I felt so good.
I hate how it's so hard to see changes in my body. Most of the people reading this will understand. You just don't see yourself.
We always have breakfast together on Sunday but today it looks like we don't. I planned on eating today because I was going to have to eat breakfast anyways but now I don't know. I don't think we're having breakfast so I think I should not eat. I think that would be fine. I don't know what to do.... ugh help me
Never mind, we are having breakfast
I think I'll have
Bread w pb and banana
Toast w cheese
Bread w sprinkles
I know that's a lot but Sunday is the only day I eat bread breakfast
I had:
1x Bread w pb and banana
2x Toast w cheese
2x Bread w sprinkles
That's so embarrassingly much. I'm sorry.
Tomorrow I will restrict. I will study a lot this week and exercise and just eat dinner. I hope to lose 2 kilos this week. So that next week I'm 55. Then after that I'll hopefully know when my next appointment is and I'll try to be 50 by then if that's possible.
The fact that I could've been 53 by now if I didn't eat these last few days... ugh
YOU ARE READING
Diary of an anorexic
Non-FictionI use this as my diary. I write down all my thoughts and I hope it'll help me.
