The Colors In Her Voice

☆Chapter 40☆

Bethany and I decided to hang around the school perimeters while waiting for Mason. Mr. Scott, his history teacher, had requested to meet him after the school hours. We didn't know why because Mason himself was as clueless about it as we were. 

Dylan, as usual, has been avoiding me to the point where I was almost feeling guilty. Not because I'd rejected him but because I felt like I embarrassed him way too much to face me now. We've stumbled across each other in the school hallways a few times but he never dared to look in my direction. I was really glad for this much needed distance but a tinge of guilt was eating me up from the insides.

After strolling for some time in the school parking lot, Bethany and I stopped, leaning against her car. 

Bethany has been acting strange and is really quiet since these past few days. Her forlorn expression was scaring me a bit even though I've witnessed her vulnerable side before. The worst thing was that I wasn't even aware of the reason. Wanting to break the uncomfortable silence clouding us, I spoke about the first topic that came to my mind. 

"Are you excited for the Winter Formal?" I asked her with a huge grin plastered on my face. 

I was not the one to fuss over such trivial events held in our school but this year was considered as an exception for me. I was looking forward to going to the Winter Formal with Mason. 

I still couldn't fathom the fact about his suggestion for us to go together. All my mind could swirl around was that he asked me out.

"Pfft, not at all," she answered lazily while chewing on her gum. 

I looked at her with shock evident on my face. I had assumed that out of everyone, she would be the most excited about it because of her being admired by almost everyone in our school. That it might be her chance to show off her beauty in an à la mode. I couldn't believe my ears that she was quite indifferent about it.

Crossing my arms on my waist loosely, I looked at her in bewilderment. "It's hard for me to believe that," I said, chuckling but she didn't join me as expected, which was saying something. She was acting out of her character. I was about to ask her if she was okay but she beat me to it.

"I mean, it's such a dumb thing. I've never really attended them without tough protests," she replied, giving me a sidelong glance.

"What?" I drawled out in disbelief. "Like, how?" I sputtered.

She started laughing at my ludicrous questions and I blushed in embarrassment. "I feel like you're stereotyping me again right now. Just because guys ask me to be their date doesn't mean that it has to always be rainbows and colors, Rach. Just because I have a clique to tag along with me doesn't mean that it has to always be fun. 

"I never felt genuine happiness attending these events. All these years, I just do it because my friends don't wanna leave me alone. Basically, I just wanna keep my "reputation" good around school." She scoffed and looked away. The way she said reputation with so much repugnance actually stumped me to the core.

To say that I was thrown off guard by hearing her explanation would be an understatement. Not only that but she trusted me enough to confide in me that she didn't enjoy this stuff. "Why... why are you telling me this?" I asked, clearing my throat.

"I don't know." She shrugged, looking at her feet. She was avoiding eye contact and I believed that it was because she didn't want me to see her reasons, her secrets and mostly her true self. "I..." She paused and shrugged again with a frown. "I'm just a plastic, maybe? I show what I think is pretty and acceptable instead of what I want. I'm pretty much messed up so yeah... whatever." She finally looked at me and it felt like I was looking at a totally different Bethany.