Jennie Kim Is Not Gay || jenlisa

Chapter Seven

Lisa is trying to stop the tears but right now her efforts seem to be pointless because she can't stop them. The tears are falling thick and fast and Lisa is finding it difficult to remember how to breathe.

She shuts her eyes and focuses on the feeling of Jennie's hand on her back. She focuses on the circular motion and tries to use the rhythm to regulate her breaths. It's difficult and Lisa can feel herself growing faint as she squeezes her eyes shut tighter.

She tries to picture that she's some place other than the train, she tries to pretend she's on a beach and tries to hear the sea. It's no use though; Lisa can feel her mind floating until it is as if she is looking down on herself from up above.

Lisa hates this feeling, because she hates having to look at herself cry, it makes her feel weak. Usually there's nothing Lisa can do but deal with it but this time she's with Jennie, and right now it feels like Jennie is the only thing capable of tethering Lisa's mind to her body, she's the only thing that makes living in the moment seem worth it.

When she can think clearly again and she feels more like herself Lisa slowly opens a single eye to see Jennie staring at her with worry on her face.

"Sorry," she says.

"I already told you, you have nothing to be sorry for."

And then Jennie offers Lisa a lopsided smile that she is unable to return but Jennie seems to understand that as her smile grows a little wider, as if she's trying to be happy enough for the both of them.

Lisa can tell that Jennie is trying hard to distract Lisa and make her smile.

"What does a nosey pepper do?" Jennie asks.

Unsure of where Jennie is going with this, Lisa chooses to stay silent. Jennie carries on regardless.

"Gets jalapeño business."

Lisa tries to smile but can't. She's too busy wondering how on earth Jennie is still being this nice to her even after she's told her everything. And Lisa isn't going to fool herself into thinking that telling Jennie about Nancy isn't a big deal, because it's a massive deal, it's a super-freaking colossal deal. And Lisa feels stupid just thinking about what she did and she wonders how on earth Jennie can still want to hang out with her after she found out about it all.

For a brief moment it crosses Lisa's mind that maybe Jennie has been hired by Nancy for round two. To be honest it fits the pattern but then Lisa looks at Jennie who is continuing to look at Lisa with such concern and Lisa feels bad for even considering that possibility.

"What do you call an alligator in a vest?" Jennie asks. "An Investigator."

"What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?"

"You'll die."

"No Lisa! Every morning you'll rise and shine!"

"That's terrible."

"Well," Jennie sighs, "what do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?"

Lisa feels bad, because she knows Jennie is trying hard but Lisa highly doubts that crappy jokes are going to fix this situation, as much as she wants them to.

"I don't know," Lisa says.

"Guardians of the Galaxy."

Lisa can't say that she finds the joke that funny but Jennie evidently does as she is trying to conceal her laughter. Through her tears Lisa can see that Jennie's eyes have lit up and that the smile on her face is growing wider and that only serves to make Lisa happy, because Jennie's laughter is infectious and somehow Lisa finds that she too is doubled over laughing and that there are tears in her eyes but this time it is from laughing so it's all okay.