This story is the definition of trouble in paradise.
What Shai-Anna believed to be a normal trip to Jamaica turned out to be much more than what met the eye. One week away gave her the ability to see what had been underneath her nose this entire ti...
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Kingston Hines
I kicked my feet in the water as I took a pull from my spliff. The night air felt amazing against my skin after I had just taken the swim, I never realized I needed until now. I was indeed more stressed that I had known and after today I had no energy to play it off or act as if I wasn't.
Did I really beg someone to choose me? Me, Kingston Hines? The thought alone was baffling. I just couldn't seem to wrap my head around it no matter how hard I had tried. I felt as if I checked off a good number of boxes, I meant every single word I said, I didn't regret a single action or the speed that we were doing it in... I, dead ass really liked this girl to the point where I clearly was losing my sense of self.
This all felt too familiar, it had happened before. The last time I ever decided to commit to someone, I'm talking exact copy and paste scenario. I gave my ex everything a woman could ask for and more and in turn, she never chose me... apparently, I was "too perfect" and she couldn't keep up. I showed this woman the world and she turned around and said, my love was intimidating and unrealistic. So, I turned it off.
For all these years I shut every single feeling down, made a rule book and gave myself very specific boundaries because this feeling right here was something I never wanted to experience before. I could take rejection any day, but what I couldn't take was losing to someone who could never compare on a good day. I couldn't take watching a woman literally settle for less than she had deserved, that's what really rubbed me the wrong way. I thought that maybe, just maybe it was a one-time thing; yet here it was... happening again. My best just didn't ever seem to cut it and I, was tired.
I didn't plan on turning my back on Shai especially with everything that I knew was about to go down. However, I wasn't about to get hurt the same way a second time. I begged once and was not going to do it again. At this point in time, Shai had made up her mind; it was clear that she didn't want to let him go... So, she unfortunately would have to deal with the full-on hurt once she sees him for who he truly is.
"Baby boy." My mother sang as she walked towards me. "I got some great news for you... we found the perfect land and made a down payment right on the spot." She grabbed a seat beside me, placing her feet into the water.
"Congratulations! I'm happy for you guys."
"Thank you, my son, we're just as excited. I can't to see what your father designs for us."
"You already know it's going to be great. Dad doesn't miss."
"Not one bit." She cheesed. "How was your day though? I spoke to Shai inside, she told me you guys went back out for lunch with Oshane."
"That we did."
"How was it?"
"Good." I shrugged before taking another hit of my blunt before offering it to her.
