Strums of Life

Prologue

Happy reading :)

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I don't know how to play a guitar and yet I am here, trying to vibe on my own melodies, my very own melodies.

A strum, a single strum can ruin the whole melodious music that you've been hearing the whole time. We can mend it but only if you are a professional. In my case, I can't and I am no professional. Kaya pag nagulo ang daloy ng magandang tunog ng buhay ko ay hindi ko na alam kung paano ko pa muling aayusin ito.

A single strum that may ruin your own life.

A strum of your life.

A guitar's music were not always good in the ears, it always depends on your next strum.

Every steps are equal to every strums. Sometimes it'll cost melodies, sometimes it'll cost a disaster, a chaos.

I turn my eyes to the band in front of me. Their strums create a melodious light that's making my eyes get blinded by their screaming passion.

They know how to play the strums and beats of their life too well. They didn't create confusion like I am doing with my life.

As I've said earlier, hindi ako marunong maggitara kaya hindi na ako nagtataka kung bakit hindi magandang pakinggan ang tunog ng buhay ko.

When I took the first strum, it sounded like I was going to create a melodious way for my dreams. Akala ko nung una tuloy tuloy na 'yung ganda ng agos, but when I took the next strums, it confused the hell out of me. I hesitated. Hindi tumugma sa tunog na gusto kong marinig ang kinalabasan ng sumunod kong step.

I felt so lost.

Lahat ng oras na pwede kong sayangin, sinayang ko na para lang maalo ko ang sarili.

It'll be fine.

All will be alright in time.

Growing up in a not-so-rich family was great, but... I am afraid. I don't want to make decisions that will bring us all down because of our expectations. Hindi ko gustong kumalabit sa gitara ng buhay ko dahil natatakot ako na hindi ko gusto ang kalalabasan.

I am grateful, alright. But the pressure that I was feeling was overwhelming.

Which path should I take? This question was running in my mind twenty-four seven.

Sa isang tanong na 'yun, isa lang din ang nakukuha kong sagot mula sa sarili ko. Hindi ko alam.

I am doing my best to study hard and to achieve my unknown dreams in life. Pero ano nga ba ang sense ng mga ginagawa ko kung hindi ko naman alam kung ano talaga ang gusto ko?

I tried to search on Google and on YouTube about the strands for senior high but I always end up being lost. Imbes na madagdagan ang ideya sa utak ko ay mas lalo pa akong nagdoubt sa sarili ko, mas lalo lang gumulo ang utak ko.

Sabi sa isang video na napanood ko sa youtube, "Find your passion first." After I heard it I stared at nowhere. I don't know what my passion is.

I don't know what to do in my life.

I feel so lost...

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. Hindi ko na alam.

I asked my Tita and I only got the same question. "Ano ang passion mo?"

Napatanong ako sa sarili ko. Is it really necessary to have passion? But I don't have one.

"Mahirap kasing pag-aralan kung hindi mo naman talaga alam ang gusto mo."