Amnesia

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" ALYSSA WAKE UP WAKE UP PLEASE."
I can feel some one shaking me roughly. I open my eyes but close them quickly because of the bright light. I attempt to open them again but this time slowly. I can see the person shaking me hovering over me. I see the black hair and I know that it's my dad.
" I'm up I'm up what happened is everything okay?" I quickly question him. I regain feeling in my face and I can feel my face is wet. was I crying? I look down at my pillow. I run my hand across the soaked top of the pillow. I was crying but why?
" You were screaming and thrashing. I heard you from down stairs. what happened baby girl?" I slowly start to remember my dream but why was I crying? It couldn't be because I was scared of dying. come to think of it I was probably crying because it wasn't real. My father is still looking at me concerned.
" Nothing daddy just a bad dream."
Well it wasn't a complete lie but if I told him about it he would want to check my arm. I couldn't let him see the marks he already has enough to worry about.
"Well baby girl I have to go to work. If you need anything call me. If I don't answer call Luke and have him come over."
The mention of his name makes me want to cry but I hold back the tears. He can see the tears held back in my eyes but he knows that I don't want to talk about it so he leaves me alone. with out another word, he walks out of my room. it's like around 9 in the morning but I don't have to be at work till like 12:30 so I decide to watch some t.v. I go to the bathroom, take a shower brush my teeth and put on my ninja turtle onesie. i go down stairs and watch spongebob for about an hour. ( yes I'm 18 and watch sponge bob)
10:30
I take a brake from laughing and look at the clock. It's 10:30 and I'm suppose to meet ashton in half an hour. I turn off the T.V and head up stairs. I put on a simple black long sleeve shirt red skinny jeans and... Earrings? I don't know why but I put on earrings today. I haven't worn these earrings in for ever but for some reason I decided what the hell. I put gel in my hair and try to make it look some what presentable. I slip on my black and white vans grab my phone, my car keys and my bag with my work clothes so I can change there, and head for the door. it's a ten minute drive from my house to the park. when I get there ashton is already there with 2 new people I have never seen before. There both wearing black skinny jeans and a black shirt. I can see ashton looking around the he finally spots me. he taps the two boys and they all turn and look at me. the dark haired boy is wearing a nirvana shirt and the other one... Well let's just say he looks interesting. He had bright green hair and is wearing what I believe is the shirt that says " God save the sex pistol." I walk up to all three of them nervous as hell. I'm not going to lie they both are really hot.
" Hey." ashton says cooly.
I give a small wave, look quickly at the two boys then look down.
" Oh don't be afraid we don't bite." says the dark haired one. I give a nervous laugh and they all join in. I look at ashton and again he's wearing long sleeves. it almost 85 degrees. Why was he wearing long sleeves? I know why I'm wearing long sleeves but why is he? I shake the thought out of my head and glance at the bright green haired one. He hasn't said anything instead he just looks at me locking eyes when I look back. the dark haired one clears his throat looking at ashton to get his attention.
" Well are you going to introduce us or what?"
He looks at me then looks back at the dark haired one.
" Oh come on ash. You kept me up all night talking about how you saw the most beau-"
Ashton covers his mouth before he could finish his sentence. I could feel my cheeks start to glow red as the corners of my face threaten to break into a smile.
" Aww she's blushing." the dark haired one jokes. oh that's great. Now my face is really going to turn red.
" Dude! Shut up!" Ashton says pushing him. He just laughs knowing he just embarrassed his friend. He points to the green haired one and says,
" This is Michael and this little bitch is Calum."
" Oh thanks a lot best friend."
I introduced me self to Calum and Michael.
" Why are you wearing long a sleeve black shirt? it's like 1000 degrees out here?" Calum questions me.
" why are you wearing long tight black jeans?" I question him back. He looks down at his legs then back up at me.
" Alright I see your point." he says with a smile.
We all talk for a while to get to know each other. well it was more like me Calum and ashton talked while Michael just stood there and watched us. Calum was really funny. they started bringing up stuff.
" Hey ashton. a tadpole is a baby what?" Calum asks trying to hold back the laugh he so desperately wanted to let out. ashton just rolls his eyes and I giggle a bit.
" What so funny about tadpoles Calum?" I question him.
" Well ashton thought they were baby turtles. Then he thought they were baby Mosquitos."
I try my hardest not to laugh to the point where I stopped breathing. ashton looked annoyed so I attempted to calm down before he got mad at me. but why do I care? I haven't even known him for a week. I can see ashton facial expression turn from annoyed to pay back.
" Speaking of turtles..." he trails off looking at calum.
" Ash don't you dare." Calum warns.
" I recall a certain someone stating that a he saw a turtle that was , and I quote , smalla then a bug."
I look at Calum then ashton then Calum again. ashton gives a shy smile and let's out a quite giggle. Calum eyes turned from fun to embarrassment.
" Ash. Dude. You did not really just say that."
" I actually thought it was kind of funny." Michael finally says with a quite giggle.
" Oh so the green haired beast does speak." I jokingly say to him. He laughs looks down and I can see a hint of red in his cheeks. we start talking about how Michael looked in his pikachu onesie and I couldn't control my laugh.
" Aw well isnt that just adorable." I mock him. We all laugh while he blushes in embarrassment. I notice they all have skate boards. Oh so they skate. Great. they will make fun of me because I cant. While we talk and laugh I can see ashton glance at me from time to time and smile when he caught me looking at him. He picked up hid board looked at it and I can see a smile appear on his face. what was he thinking about?
" Hey Alyssa. Do you know how to skate?" I freeze and can feel my face getting red.
" It's okay. calm down. I'll teach you." he sweetly says. i nervously shake my head in disagreement. Yea umm no there's no way in hell I'm doing that. He places his board on the floor In front of me and crosses his arms with the look that says 'go ahead'. I shake my head no and back away. Michael and Calum have already left to race on their boards while ashton is trying to make me skate.
" Oh come on alyssa. I will be right next to you. I won't let you fall." he says with pleading eyes. aww how can I say no to that face.
" Alright. Fine." I cave in dragging out the "E" in fine. he tells me how to stand on the board and how to turn. I push off and he's right behind me. i lose my balance really quick but before I fall I can feel his hands grab me at my waist. I lean back a little too far and I send his board flying. when my feet hit the floor he pushes me up to help me gain my balance. his hands are still on my waist and we're just looking at each other. His eyes threaten to shift to my lips but I can see him holding back the urge. He's taller then Me so I have to look up at him. he dosent notice that I'm secretly looking at his lips.
" Umm sorry about your board." I nervously say trying to break the silence. He just smiles and tells me that it's fine. He finally glances at my lips. He turns me around keeping his hands on my waist and with my arms around his neck. My brown eyes are burning into his hazel ones. I notice the little specks of green in his eyes and I think their amazing. he starts to lean in. I hesitate for a second then start to lean. He's so close to kissing me then..." YES ASHTON GET IT!" I can hear Calum yelling from across the park. nice timing cal. We both let go of eachother and start to blush with embarrassment. Calum grabs Ashton's board and starts walking towards us. I pull my sleeves over my hands and cover my face when he reaches us.
" Aww she's shy. you really shouldn't cover your face." he says grinning at ashton. " It's going to be a bit difficult for ashton to suck your face off." oh my Jesus Christ. did he really just say that?
" Calum I'm going to kill you." ashton threatened. aww the defensive ashton is sort of adorable. they wrestle for a good 5 minutes. I check my phone to check the time.
12:15
" Oh shit. It's 12:15." I announce shocked.
" What's wrong." ashton questions me sounding concerned.
" I have to be at work in 15 minutes."
" Where do you work?"
" At the bowling alley down the street."
They all look at eachother and nod. it was obvious they knew something I didnt.
" Well then let's get going." says Michael.
Before I knew it we were heading to the parking lot. cal and mike came in the same car but ash just walked here. they got in their car and ashton got in mine. on our way over there we hit a red light.
" Hey umm I'm sorry about earlier."
" About the almost kiss or about Calum ruining it?" I surprisingly ask him.
" About Calum ruining it because I could see how badly you wanted to kiss me." he says the last part through a smile on his face. The light turns green and I drive. we get to my job with cal and mike behind us. I set them up at lane 22 and set up the board.
" Aww she put ashton first how sweet." Calum mockingly says
" Um I just went in alphabetical order." I smartly remark back. His facial expression quickly changes to embarrassment and we all laugh. I changed into my work clothes and get straight to work. Through out their game I could see Ashton glancing at me. it might just be me but I swear every time he looked at me mike looked at him in disgust. A lovely couple and child walked in the door.
" Hi welcome to the four seasons. how many?" I asked the sweet couple. ash watched me as I assisted them. Some one can't keep their eyes off of me can they. I'm not just talking about ashton. mike keeps looking at me too. Hmm what's going on.
* one game later*
" Well alyssa we have to get going." Says Michael. he hasn't really talked much I wonder why?
" Alright guys I hope you had fun."
They pay for their game but before they leave they all place their phones of the counter In front of me. It takes me a minute but I realize they want my number.
" Wow it hasn't even been a whole day and I already have 3 numbers. go me" I jokingly say to them. I put my number into their phones and they put there's in mine. Calum grins at me and I can tell he's going to say something smart.
" Bye Lyss. try to focus on work and not on Ashton's lips."
Before I could say anything back Ashton is already chasing him out the bowling alley, leaving Mikey with me.
" Um hey mike. How come you don't talk very much?" I question him
" I'm scared of saying something stupid in front of a pretty girl like you." he says looking down with a hint of embarrassment in his voice. I blush and he leaves. I made 2 new friends today. correction. I made 2 new hot friends.
* home after work*
I pull into my drive way and notice no one is home. I walk in and head straight upstairs. I walk into my room and on my way to my closet I catch a glimpse of my self in my mirror. I stop in mid step
"Look at you. you're fucking useless. you're a fucking waste of space. you should have never been born. you fat fuck. your father shouldn't have to deal with your bullshit. your mother hates you. I would hate you too. Luke hates you. its all your fault. you dumb whore." I lift my shirt to reveal my fat. I guess this means no more eating for me.
" Today is the day. no one will stop me." with those words I grabbed my black box and hide in my bathroom. I turn on the sink, keep the water running and sit on the floor. my wrist longed for the feeling of the cold blade. it seemed as though it was searching for something. it was searching for my warm blood to turn it from cold silver to warm red. I decided to give it what it wanted. the feeling of my blood oozing from my skin actually made me smile.
BANG
BANG
BANG
Some one was banging on the door.
" ALYSSA PLEASE. I HEARD EVERYTHING PLEASE DONT DO THIS." its luke I didn't hear him walk in. he manages to open the door. I can feel him lift up my body bridal style and bring me to the car.
" Luke why couldn't you just let me die? " I faintly ask him
He dosent say a word instead he's concentrated of the road speeding to God knows where. we pull up to the emergency room.
" Luke no. take my home. I don't want to be here."
" You don't have a choice your not leaving me. I can't lose you Alyssa please." I'm fading in and out of conscience ness. one minute I'm in the hallway the next I'm in a hospital bed with Ivs sticking out of my arm. why? Why couldn't he just let me die?

LUKE POV.
"Look at you. you're fucking useless. you're a fucking waste of space. you should have never been born. you fat fuck. your father shouldn't have to deal with your bullshit. your mother hates you. I would hate you too. Luke hates you. its all your fault. you dumb whore."
I can hear Alyssa screaming from her room. Please. Please be safe Alyssa.

" Today is the day. no one will stop
me."

There it was. she said it she was going to kill herself. no I couldn't let this happen. I ran upstairs. in all my emotions I forgot for a quick second which one was her room. then I heard the water running. I ran towards the noise and found her room. I burst through her door breathing hard. she was in her bathroom. I started to bang on the door. when I got inside I wasted no time picking her up and bringing her to the hospital. I'm crying. how could I let this happen? Why did I have to yell at her? We get to the hospital and I tell them what happened. before they take her into the room she becomes conscience again.
" Alyssa?" I pray she responds back.
" Yea?" Oh thank god
" Alyssa its Luke. I'm going to be right here okay?"
" Who's luke?" She questions.
No. This can't be happening. Please anything but this.
**
Heyyyyyy haven't updated in almost 2 weeks so I thought what the hell why not update at 1:00 in the morning.
So tell me what you guys think. was it bad? Was it good? Was it just like, really niggah?
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And remember your all amazing
Love ~ Alyssa Irwin~

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