Decisions decisions

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" babe did you want to open your mothers present now before your birthdays over?" Ashton asks me as we step in the house. It was like 11:40 and it just felt like the right thing to do to open it on my birthday. I grab her little box and unwrap it. I opened the little box and it was a necklace. It had an A on it obviously for my name and I just looked at. I don't know if I should be happy that about my present or if I should just throw it away. Does she really fucking think that she can make my life a living hell and then send me this and it will be a o-fucking-Kay?! This bitch was fucking crazy. Ashton notices I'm upset and places his hand on my back. When I feel the slightest touch on my back I snap at him.
" don't fucking touch me, just leave me alone." I half scream slapping his arm off of me and started stomping upstairs.
" baby." He says. I don't respond and just walk into the bathroom and lock the door. Ugh my so called mother can single handedly ruin a great day. I wish I never opened that fucking present. I fucking hate her. I can hear Ashton attempt to twist the door handle and start to knock on the door in defeat.
" baby please let me in."
Yea nah why so you can take the blade from me? I'm not that stupid. Yea yea same routine, I pull out the blade and turn on the water. I'm guessing Ashton knows what that means because now he was frantically pounding on the door.
" alyssa please don't do this!" He yells trying to over power the sound if the water and the fan. I slowly drag and press the blade across my arm and begin to start another.
" think about the baby!"
I stop drop the blade and get even more aggravated. I turn the water off clean the cut and swing the door open hard.
" oh you mean the baby you didn't want, the baby that you would have left if you found out it wasn't yours but wouldn't even let me explain, that fucking baby? You know what Ashton don't try to use this fucking baby as an excuse." I yell at him.
" oh so you think that I used the baby to get you to stop cutting? That's another thing yo think that I don't want this baby but to be fucking honest you just think I don't want this baby, you put that thought in your head and now you don't want too believe over wise. I can't fucking believe you. I can't fucking believe you ink I used the baby to get you to stop. So you're saying that if you weren't pregnant I would have just let you sit in there and slices up your fucking skin?" I start to feel dizzy and find it a little harder to breath.
" yea alyssa I definitely would just let you hurt yourself."
" you might as well you can't fucking stop it either way." I yell back with all the energy I have left. I could barley stand up right.
" you know what fine then if you think I'm going to let you then Go back in there and cut more, cause I don't care right?cut a fucking vein if you think that's what I fucking want. Go ahead!"
I fell to the floor and blacked out.
ASHTONS POV.
I could see the mask of discomfort cover her face. I could tell she was debating if she would accept or decline it. I see her hand clench around the necklace and I attempt to calm her down I place my hand on her back but as soon as I touch her she snaps and slaps my hand away. She screams at me and stomps upstairs into the bathroom. I didn't notice she locked the door until I tried to open it. I knocked on the door seeing if she would open it.
" baby please let me in. " I could hear her shuffle and turn the water on. No. I knew what she was up to.  I start to pound o. The door not caring if I had to break it down to get inside.
" Alyssa please dont do this."
She dosent listen. I don't know what else to say.
" think about the baby!"
She turns the water off and I start to calm down until she opens the door with looks that could kill. I'm not going to lie she's smoking hot when she's angry, but that's not the point. She starts to scream at me. ( I'm not repeating the whole argument. ) I can't believe this she really thinks that I only want her to stop cause of the baby. That got me so angry. She thinks I would let her if she wasn't pregnant. I fight back with her and I can see her start to lean On The wall but I'm too blind to notice I should stop.
"cut a fucking vein if you think that's what I fucking want. Go ahead!" I scream at her. She falls the the floor un conscious. Oh no what have I done? I shake her to try to wake her up but it's not working. I'm terrified. I fumble with the phone as I try to call 911.
" 911 what's your emergency?"
" umm hi my - my girlfriend passed out and - and she's pregnant so I dont know what to do. We were arguing- and - and she just collapsed to the floor. Please some one help me." I cry to the officer sounding helpless.
I give her the address and she says she will send an ambulance right away.
" Alyssa baby please do me a favor and don't be dead. Open your eyes please. Alyssa please! " I scream punching the floor.
" baby I didnt mean anything that I said please we were just angry please!"
This can't be happening. I don't know what to do. I prop her head up with my jacket like they do In The movies. Don't judge I'm desperate here.
" Alyssa baby please wake up, open your eyes. I love you please I need you to wake up, I need you to be okay, I can't do this by my self. Show me a sing please anything that you are okay." The paramedics rush in and hurry her into the ambulance. I get into the ambulance with her refusing to let go of her hand.
" baby please." I beg as I lay my head down on her shoulder.
" I need you to wake up. "
*
ALYSSAS POV.
" are you feeling okay?" A faint female voice asks me. 
I believe I'm in a hospital because if I either wake up in ashes bed or a hospital bed and I'm pretty sure there wouldn't be another female in his house watching me sleep.
" yes I'm fine can I go home now." I say a little annoyed.
" I'm afraid not. Do you remember what happened to you last night?"
" yes I got into an argument with my boyfriend and I passed out. That's it."
" do you know what you passed out?" She says like she wants to inform me if I didn't.
Of course I knew I was just too embarrassed to tell anyone.
" yes I do and if you do don't say it. It embarrassing enough as it is." She gives and understanding nod and walks out leaving me and Ashton alone.
" Baby I'm so sorry about what I said none of it was true I was just angry and I tend to be rude when I'm angry. I thought I lost you last night I never want to-." I cut off his babbling with a kiss. Maybe he didn't deserve it but it was the only way to shut him up.
" I didn't deserve that." She mumbles in shame but glad I gave it to him.
" I know but you wouldnt shut up." I say trying to brighten the mood.
" babe what are you embarrassed to tell me?"
" it's nothing."
" Lyss I think we are past that."
" okay fine. I have very bad panic attacks. They went away but came back when you said you were leaving. I just feel so embarrassed like a weak little panicked girl."
" that's nothing to be embarrassed about."
Before the conversation could get any further the doctor came back in.
" Ms. Santos you need to learn to control you umm situation because one its not healthy for you and two with your baby being so young and undeveloped it could kill it, it's could have been killed today it's a miracle. "
I start to cry. I'm going to kill my baby. Ashton squeezed my hand assuring me it's okay. I thank the doctor and she walks out.
" ash what are we going to do?" I question him crying.
" we are going to do everything we can to make sure this baby is okay." Okay so that meant no more panicking. I guess it's time to grow up.
*
A few months later
Today me and ash were going to find out the gender of our twins. Yes they are both his and yes I'm having twins. Ashton really wanted an Ashton junior and was hoping for at least one but also was perfectly okay with having two girls, until he realizes that she won't be daddy's litters girl forever.
" are you ready baby?"
" I'm kind of nervous." Ashton says back.
" babe I was talking to the twins." I giggle at him while his face glows red. He was such a dork it was cute. We walk into the waiting room and wait till my doctor calls us in.
" Ms Santos and Mr. Irwin. " ash helps me stand up and we walk In The room.
" are you excited?" She asked directing the question more towards me.
" very." Me and Ashton both said. He smiled and kissed my cheek. I lay down on the bed and lift my shirt over my belly. My bump was extremely noticeable now. I shivered at the coldness of the gel. She rubbed the tool around my stomach till the picture started to appear in the screen. When the pictures were fully developed I looked over and could see both heads.
" is that a penis?" I question the doctor.
" yes one is a girl and the other is a boy, congratulations you're having a boy and a girl twins."
Ashton looks at me with tears in his eyes. He was so happy. I loved to see him smile when it was real it was amazing, and now I will have two of him smiling, even better.
" have you two thought out any names yet?"
" well the boy is going to be Ashton fletcher Irwin junior and we were thinking the girl would be Amanda Irwin." I respond.
" baby I was thinking we should give her a middle name too."
" like what?"
" Jennifer?" He says as if he was asking permission. I didn't know how to answer.
" umm."
*
Lyss.

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