Karakura-Raizer Angel [Bleach Fanfic]

Amira. [28]

"He..." I paused, carefully searching for the words and what to say to Kisuke. My hands clasped together, rubbing my hands together to find some sort of comfort. "He did some... horrible things to me..." I muttered, "The first thing he did to me as soon as he saw me was..." a lump was suddenly in my throat, "Was..."

My hands went onto my sides, gripping them painfully. My knuckles shook and turned completely white. My eyes threatened to spill tears. The stinging on my arms felt more painful.

"Touched me."

My voice strained. "I..." I started shaking, "I feel dirty. I can't have someone putting their hands on me without thinking about what happened in that hallway," I curled up into a ball. Kisuke listened to me from a distance, staying silent.

"Why do I..." I sniffed, rubbing my eyes dry with the sleeves of my outfit, "Why do I easily forgive him? I don't feel any type of resentment or hatred towards him. I should have felt better seeing him die in my arms. But no, I felt bad, I felt horrible," I sighed, "I'm so stupid."

Kisuke stayed silent. I guess he had nothing to say. I was treating him like free therapy. "I'm-I'm sorry," I quickly gathered my composure, "I shouldn't be saying things like this," I gave him a weak smile, "I'm sorry—I'm gonna get fresh air."

I got on my feet and quickly got myself out of the shop. It was already nighttime. I wasn't sure what time it was, but it was already dark. I looked up, wiping my tears away. I was gathering myself up before heading to Soul Society. I didn't like the idea of people seeing me with my eyes red with tears.

I took a deep breath. Something brushed against my feet. I looked down, seeing a black cat with yellow eyes purring by my feet. "It's already dark," the cat spoke, which caught me by surprise. I wasn't used to the fact Yoruichi's cat voice was deep and manly. "It'll be night at Soul Society, do you still want to go?" she asked, sitting by my feet.

"Well," I looked at my dress, twisting my torso, and watched the skirt swirl, "I'm dressed in my favorite outfit, might as well go," I said. The black cat got on her feet and walked into the store. I followed her.

"Kisuke told me you don't like the corridor," she said, "I would figure closing your eyes would help you go through it," she continued, "So, Kisuke and I figured out a solution."

I was blindfolded from behind, "Now, don't panic," Kisuke said, "Yoruichi would be guiding you through the corridor." Someone took my hand, "You ready?" Yoruichi's usual voice said. I paused, "Are you naked?" I asked. "You can peek if you'd like," she teased.

I felt my face heat up, "Let's just go!" I squeaked, tightening my grip on her hand. Yoruichi laughed, "We're going in!" she announced before dragging me in somewhere. I knew the atmosphere changed from the temperature and the damp air.

Yoruichi started running and guided me through the corridor. "How are you feeling, champ?" she asked as we ran. "I'm okay!" I answered. I could feel the squishy ground beneath my feet and the slushing sounds beside me. It made me squirmish.

After a few minutes of running, Yoruichi stopped and her hand disappeared. I slowly opened my blindfold and found myself at the Senkaimon. Yoruichi sat by my feet, "You know where to go?" she asked in that deep manly voice of hers. I nodded as I picked her up and placed her on my head.

The place was silent. They weren't any Soul Reapers walking around Sereitei. I heard several people cheering in the bar. It was a Friday night, so it wasn't much of a surprise. I thought of going in there, but Yoruichi reminded me he was a captain, he was probably busy with paperwork.

I made my way to the Squad 5 barracks. And did my best to avoid any Squad 11, especially if it was Ikkaku, Yumichika, Yachiru, or Zaraki himself. If I did bump into any of them, I would have run. Maybe not from Yumichika, he seemed nice enough not to reveal my whereabouts.

I stood by the door, finally realizing, "I forgot about the muffin," I muttered, slapping my forehead, "Goddamnit, I left it at Kisuke's." Yoruichi hopped off from my head, "I'm sure he'll appreciate your company," she said, "Captain work is really stressful, take it from a captain who barely did any paperwork."

I gently knocked on the door. I looked over to Yoruichi, who was sitting right next to me. "Come in," Shinji answered. Yoruichi nodded and I slid the door open slightly. "Lieutenant Hinamori, please don't tell me you have mo—," Shinji paused upon laying his eyes on me, "Neddy?" he leaned forward, "What are ya doing here? How did ya even get here?"

I closed the door behind me, "Hi," I said simply. He was seated on the floor, a small table in front of him, a small candle was his only light source. There was paperwork on his table and on his right which was stacked up quite high. "I'm sorry for disturbing you, I-I know you have a lot of work, but..."

I sat down beside him, "About yesterday," I placed my hands on my lap, "I wanted to apologize for my sudden reaction," I looked at him, "It's just... when your hand ran down my side, it triggered a memory and I acted upon it." I paused, adjusting my glasses, "A-And I shouldn't have just pushed you away suddenly like that."

"Plus, you told me if anything was bothering me, I should tell you..." I fiddled with my fingers, taking a deep breath, "I was harassed sexually while I was in Las Noches, a-and the trauma kicked in, unfortunately, while we were um—," I paused, "Kissing," my face heated up, "The way you ran your hands down my side, e-even though it was affectionate, I... it reminded me of the incident."

"And that's why I reacted like that so suddenly. I was overwhelmed by it... I started feeling dirty and I..." I looked at Shinji, "I'm sorry, I'm spilling too much again." I sighed, looking away from him as I shook my head, "I'm sorry, I-I should lea—."

Shinji suddenly wrapped his hands around me, pulling me into a tight embrace. I placed my face on the white captain haori on his shoulder and wrapped my hands around his neck.

"I'm so sorry ya had to go through that."