Always?

im sorry (7)

warnings: sh, rape

"cl- clay. why"

im speechless. i stare at him for what seems like forever until he pulls me into a tight hug. i hug back, too. i never want it to end. soon enough, im sobbing into his shoulders.

"i- im so sor- sorry. i was d- doing so good a- and i fucked it al- all up"
"no. dont apologize. just let it out clay. its gonna be alright."

after a 10 minute hug we go back into my room and sit down on my bed.

"how long have you been struggling with this. why didnt you tell me?"
"uhm, about 1 year on and off. nick is the only one that knows, i usually call him if im gonna do it. ive been two weeks clean untill now." i sniffle
"im sorry. you should have told me clay. you know you can trust me, right?"
"yeah"

it is now 6:45 am and we need to leave for school in 30 minutes. i go downstairs with george to make some breakfast. we end up making some cereal. i leave everything out on the counter for when maddie comes downstairs. before we go, i run upstairs and put on a green hoodie to cover everything that just happened. i grab my keys and we head out the front door.

we arrive at school and say goodbye and head to our first classes. a normal day goes by, chemistry, world history, health, lunch, geometry, ceramics, and buisness class. when school is out, i go to my car to meet karl and alex there.

"hey guys. wanna go to the park today?" i ask
"yeah. im down"
"same"

so, we drive to the park, weed in hand. once we get there time flies by. smoking until we cant remember. we all make our ways back home after a couple hours. when i get home i go upstairs and turn on my phone to text with karl

karl🧸

karl🧸: hey dude, im having a ton of ppl over tonight, you in?
me: yep. ill be there.
karl🧸: george is gonna come too 👀
me: okay, and?
read 5:37 pm

i knock on maddies door and go inside to see her laying in bed on her phone.

"hey mads. what do you want for dinner?"
"takeout?"
"okay. ill order it in a few. love you"

i leave her room and go downstairs to sit on the couch and order some food. i end up ordering canes, some chicket strips for the both of us. about 10 minutes later the doorbell rigns and the takeout food is here. i pay the worker and head back inside with our food. maddie comes down the steps and we eat at the table and talk like normal.

"im going out to karls tonight. text me if you need anything."
"okay i will. see you tomorrow"

i go upstairs to my room and pick out some new clothes so i can hop in the shower. i pick out some grey sweatpants and a navy blue collared crewneck. i go into the bathroom and start the shower. i took out the razor from my bathroom for awhile. i only have to shave my beard every few weeks anyways. i just wanted to try and resist the urge. i get out of the shower and go back to my room and watch some tv for a couple hours. when its about 9 pm i text karl and say i will be at his house in a little bit. i yell goodbye to maddie and grab my white converse and keys to head outside. i get in my car and ride in the silence over to karls. we all live in a fairly wealthy area, but damn, karls house is big. cars and cars and more cars are parked on the driveway, and on the road. i walk up the front porch and through the door.

when i walk in i immediately see a ton of people, some making out, some drinking, some doing drugs, some just talking and hanging out. i walk into his kitchen to see george and nick talking.

"hey guys"
"hey clay. when did you get here?" nick asks
"just walked through the door. hey george whats up with you"
"i have decided im not gonna drink tonight"

i look closer at george and notice something. its around his eyes. i think its eyeliner. not super noticable, though. it looks really good on him.

"your eyeliner looks cool george. i really like it. you should wear it more."
"thanks clay"

i see george go outside with alex and nick so i go upstairs with a beer to try and find karl. i cant manage to fine him but i do manage to drink 3 beers in about 15 minutes. the dizziness is already rushing to my head and i feel sick. at this point i dont know whats going on, so i get another drink. and another after that. a girl with blonde hair walks up to me

"come with me"

she takes my hand and practicality drags me into an unoccupied bedroom.

"n-no" i manage to get out.

my head is spinning so fast. my face is overheating. my skin burns from being so hot. my stomach is upset. the girl sits me down on the bed and leans in to kiss me. i try to pull away but she has a firm grip on the back of my head. she tastes like drugs. i cant comprehend what is going on right now except for the fact that she is taking off both of our shirts.

"i want you clay. i know you want me."
"stop ple-"

she cuts me off bt kissing me again. i dont want this. its wrong. she fiddles with the waist band of both of our pants. im now laying on my back on the bed. she takes my pants off leaving me in my boxers. she now pulls down my boxers leaving me butt naken on the bed.

"help someone please help me" i whisper shout
"clay, you are not going anywhere. you are gonna give me pleasure."

she grabs ahold of my dick and she sits facing me and sits on my lap. she slips the tip of my dick inside her. she pushes the rest of me in her.

"st- stop"

my head is spinning so fast. i feel sick.

she is riding me now. i cant do anything about it because im too intoxicated. she rolles her eyes back and i look at her in disgust. she grabs ahold of my neck slightly choking me and digging her nails into my skin. this goes on for so long.

george pov

"have you seen clay? i havent seen him all night." i ask nick
"he might be upstairs. you can go look for him if you want."

i jog up the stairs and open every bedroom door, when i open the last one i see a sad sight. clay is having something being taken away from him right now. right in front of my eyes.

word count: 1195