This Ain't Normal But I Like You (COMPLETED)

CM. 9

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Cavin, sorry.."

My hands was about to reach for his chest when he pulled out from kiss. He gave us a distance, sitting on the edge, holding his head harshly.

That's the same moment I learned what we did. What I did. My eyes goes down to my shirt, to my short. Everything is so close from being bare. We almost...

"Matthew..."

I tried to reach him be he dodged my touch. "It was my fault.. I kissed you... Don't blame.."

"I asked you to be up here.. It's mine.." he tried to stand up but never let him. I locked my arms on his neck, kissing his head.

What he said earlier starts to process inside me. Was he talking about Damien? About how I chose him over him? Was he showing me signs that why can't it be him now?

Shit. This is all getting...

"Don't cry.." I pamper him. "This is mine. It was my own liking. I shouldn't have kissed you."

His eyes finally met mine. Every regret can be write on his own eyes.  "C-cavin, I'm sorry if I keep dragging you in he—"

Those possible words became muffled as we became one again. This time, we're free. We let ourselves be in it.

"D-do you want me.." I keep nodding. "Cavin... I don't want you to regret this after..."

"If it means having you the one I'd repent, why not?" I flash my smile before pulling him again.

This time, I finally reaches his chest. Without any complaints. Without hesitation. Just trying to learn how to... be with him. How to fit him in.

***

"What happened here?"

Matthew pulled me out of my morning trance. Behind me is his bare chest, his long fingers are in the part of my body that I want anyone not to know about.

I throw him a beleaguered look. "If it's too much or hard for you to say, don't force yourself. This looks like it's healing already."

"It is."

He smiled and kissed me on my neck. I watched him pick our undergarments on the floor. I can't help but to turn red when he wore his in front of me.

The memories of Damien rolled in last night, when I'm under him. And that made me think... there's someone who's better than him. And that's the guy in front, helping me to put my boxers on.

"Are you feeling frail?" I nod. I can't move any of my legs.

"What do you want to eat?"

"Can you give me my phone first?" I ask, huskily. He did it, so. "It depends on you. Nothing matters anymore if I'm ravenous right in the morning."

Matthew's been showing me his genuine smile since last night. When I came. When he came on and in me. When I try to ride him. When he try to carry me while we're facing the moon on the terrace.

He left the room for a while. I push myself so I will be leaning on the headboard. While waiting for Shone to pick up, I come to the senses about all the redness on my chest. Especially on my name.

Did we really went too... far last night?

After telling Shone I'm in a colleague's friend, I followed him outside. He didn't ask any more questions when I admit I sleep in somebody else's house. Shone sounds happy when he answers the phone.

Perhaps something happen and I think it is something that I ask him too.

Matthew's in the kitchen, facing the counter and chopping something. It's fruits when I take my place beside him. "You want some?"