What Was Left

Chapter 11

Jaime arrived at Brienne's door not long after sunrise the next morning. So eager was he to make a good impression upon the mother of his child, that he had barely slept at all the previous night for fear he would tarry too long in his slumber and be late. Jaime would not allow anything to tarnish the reputation he hoped to rebuild with her. He feared for a moment that she might still be resting, and his appearance at such an early hour would be an unwelcome disturbance. However, she answered his almost timid knock promptly, awake and ready for the day. The only hint that Brienne might not be completely prepared to train him in infant care was the slight weary frown of her tired eyes. He had seen the same fatigue rest upon her face during the Small Council meetings they had both attended. Jaime had assumed it was her reluctance to be in his presence that furrowed the line between her brows. The one he found adorable, but longed to sooth. He now realized that Brienne kept a babe's schedule, not her own, and that she must be almost perpetually exhausted. He vowed he would do whatever he could to ease her burden.

Brienne opened the door, almost surprised that Jaime had actually shown up. Protectively, she held Galladon close, his tiny head nestled into the curve of her neck. A wall of caution had formed within her chest after King Brans's declaration that Jaime would care for her son. Brienne feared that he would break Galladon's heart the way he had hers. As she lay sleepless the night before, she talked herself into believing that either his cavalier nature or his lack of knowledge in caring for a babe would get the better of him, and he would rescind his offer to look after their child. 'My child.' She silently corrected herself. She could not help feeling a tinge of relief that he was true to his word, at least for now. Brienne quickly shoved that thought out of her mind.

"You are on time." Brienne remarked, her voice rising as her eyes unintentionally widened.

Jaime smiled, staring at her in awe. "You seem shocked?" He answered quietly.

Stepping back from the door, Brienne pasted an expression of ambivalence on her face and motioned for Jaime to enter. "Come in." She said dryly.

Jaime entered the Lord Commander's quarters and waited nervously as Brienne shut the door. She walked past him and continued into the living chamber, her arms filled with their babe. Seeing the apartments now in daylight, Jaime could not help but notice the distinct difference it held from when he inhabited the rooms. The spaces had been rebuilt since their destruction in the dragon siege, yet it was not only their appearance which seemed unknown to him. He had spent little time there, took almost no interest in the maintenance of the chamber, and barely unpacked his belongings. The dwelling had been only a convenience, a place only to sleep when he could not be in Cersei's bed. The thought turned his stomach and tightened his jaw in disgust. Jaime forced it from his mind. With Brienne now in residence here, the billet was warm, and although not overly decorated, it was comfortable and soft. It felt like her. It smelled like her. He breathed in the aroma deeply and it relaxed him. Brienne was making a home for their son within these walls.

Jaime could not move as he stared longingly at Brienne. He was enthralled by her. She wore a form fitting tunic of a soft pink hue. It made the rose in her cheeks blossom. His mind flashed upon her lovely face in the ill fitting dress she had been forced to wear at Harrenhal. Jaime's heart nearly stopped to recall that it had been during their time held captive in that half destroyed ancient fortress when he knew that he loved her. If only he had been true to his heart then. Perhaps they would be sitting together in their own solar, as husband and wife. He saw them once again within her chamber at Winterfell, comfortable, familiar, and in love. The memory of the sensual feeling of her body next to his made his attempt that much harder. The passion-filled nights they shared there felt as through they would never end, for a time, but they had. Jaime's self loathing got the better of him for a moment, as he imagined all they could have been. The Gods willing, now would be his opportunity to win it all back. He tried not to think of how much his heart longed for that wish.