What Was Left

Chapter 12

Brienne felt exhausted. She knew that spending the entire day with Jaime, teaching him how to care for their child, would surely be difficult. She did not imagine the extent to which it would leave her emotions in tatters. She had expected her nerves to be on edge, being so close to Jaime all day. What Brienne had not anticipated was the turmoil which swirled within her as she watched him with her child, his own son. She had seen it on his face, the look of amazement, of pure joy. He had truly reveled in spending time with boy. Even as part of her was on guard against him disappointing and devastating Galladon, she began to feel an overwhelming sense of peace with him, as if something from somewhere assured her that she need not doubt Jaime's commitment, or his devotion to their child. Tending to Galladon was to be his new duties, and to her surprise he had seemed happy to undertake the task. She understood that King Bran had decreed Jaime's change of station. However, she could not comprehend why a knight so skilled in the art of battle and warfare would be assigned to steward a child. Even more confusing to her was why Jaime had so eagerly volunteered before the King had even suggested it. What shocked Brienne the most, was how she began to feel in his presence. She almost forgot her animosity toward Jaime Lannister, the man who had broken her heart. She nearly began to feel as if it was right that they should be together. If she was honest with herself, it felt good to watch him, to be so close him.

It was late now, Jaime had left her quarters hours ago. Yet, still Brienne could not chase him from her thoughts. She had taken dinner in her quarters, fed and settled Galladon into his bassinet, and prepared herself for the hot bath she had ordered. All the while, Brienne did her best to relax, but to no avail. Now, she stood in her housecoat, staring into the fire. She did not realize that her fingers had mindlessly traveled to her throat and were caressing the edges of her collar bone as she focused on thoughts which were a thousand miles distant from where she stood. Brienne also, did not realize that the images in her brain had become memories, recollections of her time with Jaime at Winterfell. She had spent nearly a year chasing him from her mind, however, now they took control of her and she was powerless against them.

With a wanton sigh, Brienne slid her warm dressing gown from her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Her fingers traced the paths that Jaime's had traveled along the curves of her body, pausing at those places upon which he has focused special attention. Absently, she cupped her breasts in her hands, and squeezed, softly at first. Her grasp gradually became firmer, more urgent, imagining his mouth upon her skin. Her back arched, and she pressed her legs together, enjoying the wetness which formed there at the thought of him.

Suddenly, her muscles needed the warmth of the bath that waited in the tub a few paces from her. Slowly, she approached the steaming ripples. They invited her, the way his arms had drawn her into their bed. She accepted eagerly, just as she had before. Brienne groaned lowly with release as her body slipped beneath the dark soft water. The heat engulfed her as their passion had. Her body rocked in time to the motion of the rolling waves as they broke over the surface of the body. It reminded her of the rhythm of his motion when he moved upon her. They had lost themselves in each other. There was no one else, no world deciding their fate, no duties to the needs of others. The only oaths they took were with wordless promises they made to each other.

Brienne gasped at the memory of all they had been, all they had shared. Her hands continued to work her skin, they way he had. She clenched the fingers of her right hand into a fist, imaging it Jaime's handless stump roaming over her body. When they were together, she had watched him, memorized everything about him. Now, she closed her eyes, picturing him with her. She again let her perceptions travel over the enticing angles of his body, and felt her need grow more intense with every inch. She saw his face as he had looked at her with so much force and passion that it made her want to cry. In those moments, she knew there was no one else in the world to him, but her. Gods, how they had loved each other.