Legion

Sorry

I’m sorry, cause right now all I’m doing is thinking of you, thinking of you   and all of the parts of you I wish I had, right now. I know I shouldn’t, and I know you won’t be doing the same, but I can’t help myself, you do the best worst little things to me.

For so long I convinced myself I was over you, done with my doors that continued to revolve around you but now, now suddenly they’ve started to creep open, and I can’t seem to pull them shut. And I’m not fully sure I want them to.

In the times I’ve stopped liking you I don’t think the love ever faded. When here I am stuck exactly where I started, admiring you up close but loving you from a far, and I hate myself for loving you again. Why must my mind be set on the one thing I know deep down, I can never have?

I’m sorry though, because after all the chaos that has occurred, you still have to deal with this, with me. I’m sorry I continue to put you in this position over and over again. And I’m sorry, the sorriest for how pathetic I might sound after all these years and yet I can’t seem to think any different.

You’re someone I honestly thought by now I could get over, but I find myself taking you in small dosages, one moment my life is ‘you’ free and the next your laugh is the only thing I hear and right in this very moment, it’s all I know.

I know its me and not you, because I don’t think you’ve ever thought twice of me. but just know right now in my life, I’m thinking twice of you every minute, and I don’t think that’s fair of me.

I’m sorry, sorry for ever thinking a girl like me, could even hold the weight you seemed to hide within yourself, and proclaim in front of her.