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GRUVIA FANFIC

This Story credits goes to talesandwonder on Tumblr

He gazed outside, palm against his chin in an attempt to relax on their train journey for a new mission. Lush trees painted the landscape, brushed in warm colour of summer. Green leaves ruffled with wind, barely audible over propeller against the trails. The occasional honks made him aware of his surroundings, enough to keep his sanity. 

The outside world looked so calm and tranquil, a day that could bring joy to the heart. Yet. He felt lost. Thoughts provoked him to think. Think for the first time and reflect upon it. 

A sigh left his lips as he turned away from the window, the rays seeping through, invading his gaze.

Gray could hear her talking, something related to their mission yet he understood nothing. He could feel a brain fog caressing his mind as the thought lingered.

‘Do I even deserve her?’

He sighed again, emotions getting the better of him. Her words felt like songs in his ears, the sudden desire to be close to her made him weak. He hated being weak but he couldn’t help himself. 

He leaned towards her, his head lightly touching hers. He knew she didn’t mind it but yet his childish ego made him explain.

“The sun is bright.”

He tried to sound genuine and rude but now a days it seemed hard to fake it. He felt like a hopeless boy in love and hated how true it was.

“Gray-sama, Juvia thinks you are not listening to me.”

Gray closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of her closeness like a potion to finally make his restless heart, ease. An involuntary smile left his lips.

“What makes you say that?” He murmured, eyes shut in an attempt to fall asleep. A much needed sleep.

“Juvia thinks Gray-sama is not being Gray-sama! Is every think okay?”

She asked worriedly, slowly shifting her gaze, trying not to move much and break their contact. She loved when he leaned on her.

“Yes, just a little tired.” He opened his eyes and was met with her worried ones. 

Thoughts circled his emotions and the desire to hug her overwhelmed him.  Her caring gaze, her genuine worry... did he deserve it?

She was just perfect. Him? He wasn’t so sure. 

He wasn’t sure of himself.  He wasn’t ready to voice his feelings until then.

It was no secret that Juvia was madly in love with him.  The fear of rejection never crossed his mind but yet, the thought of confessing to her made him nervous. Doubt. 

‘Do I deserve her?’ The thought haunted him whenever he wanted to be free from the grasp of his inner demons.

He felt confused. The thought of being with the her made him giddy, yet, he couldn’t.  

He felt bad for leaving her hanging for so long. She deserved better and yet he couldn’t muster the courage to return her feelings. Nor he could let her go. He felt like a selfish jerk but he couldn’t imagine letting her go.

He would try his best to give his 100%. He wanted to be there to protect her. Give her a sense of security.  He wanted to be the person that she could rely on.

“Juvia thinks Gray-sama is getting sick!” She place her palm against his forehead. The contact made his heart skip a beat, an audible gulp left his lips. 

He shifted away from her, trying to recoup his thoughts.

“N-No, I am fine. Just a little tired.” He had thought that would be the end but he found himself gently caress her hand. He didn’t know how it ended being like this. Perhaps when he removed her hand? He didn’t know. But he just couldn’t let her go, the warmth and softness. He felt like they were connected. 

A firm grip against her hand made her aware.

‘I will never let her go.’

“Gray-sama?” Juvia looked confused and could feel his grip making the blood stop.

Realizing, he finally let her hand go.

He looked at her and then at her hand. He gave up.

“I don’t deserve you.” He gave up a tiny part of his ego and for the first time it felt good. 

He shifted his body and rested his head against her shoulder.

“The sun is bright outside.” He added jokingly as he drifted in a slumber.  He could faintly feel her heart beat, perhaps blushing from his words. Perhaps confused. Perhaps just happy that he had said that.

“Just let me rest a bit.”

He was unsure when, but one day he would be worthy of her. He had to. For him.  For her. 

One day he would tell her...