Year 18

-Chapter 19-

Andrew stays up the rest of the early morning hours, pouring tirelessly over codes. It doesn't come as easily for him as it did for Paul, but his familiarity with such technology is something I can't imagine us being without in this moment.

He's explained how he's overwritten the trackers he found embedded within the UCP software; the intricacies of the code that create the facades we have donned in the past.

Lady Paula is gone, replaced with another bold woman; a UCP Andrea has already claimed as her own. Mrs. Porter's new identity is a young woman with light blond hair to match the wisps that cover Amelia's scalp.

Andrew, despite the exhaustion that must be dredging up inside of him, seems to excel. Perhaps it's his time serving in the military, or perhaps it's the natural drive that he seems to share with his brother, and from what I've heard, his father as well. No matter the reason, by the time afternoon rolls around, he's gathered everyone in the dining hall.

The UCPs he's spent all morning crafting are only for those easily recognizable to the Government; those that are well known for their association to Kane. Year Movement workers instead have spent all morning cutting and dying their hair, changing their physique through layers of clothing. As I look around the room, I'm met with a crowd that feels completely foreign to me.

Despite the uneasiness it creates in the pit of my stomach, a sense of pride and hope flutter against my heart.

"As you've all heard, I'd like to send you out in groups before the curfew tonight at six," Kane explains, his voice tired, his mind obviously churning over the multiple hurdles attempting to trip us. "All I can ask is that you stay safe. Stay together when it's possible and know that the second it is safe to come back you will all be welcomed."

I watch as Mrs. Porter, shifts Amelia to her other arm. Despite her young appearance, below that she's a woman who has been through so much. She's held the world on her shoulders for years.

I walk over to her, wrapping her and Amelia in a hug, not sure I can let go.

Mrs. Porter leaves first.

Tommy and Andrea go with her, as well as Amelia. They have a plan to stick together but know that if something goes awry that the two women will split apart, taking a child with each of them. I pray they don't have to deal with such complications.

Kane stands perfectly still as his mother walks away, his jaw set, his eyes dark and heavy with an emotion I couldn't even begin to name.

Not long after, he disappears and for nearly and hour I'm unsure where he's gone. When he comes back he doesn't offer an explanation.

I see a similar weight in his features when Anya leaves later in the day, followed by Mr. and Mrs. Olsan. Anya seems to be the calm in contrast to her parents' nerves. I can't say I blame them. This isn't a life they chose. But neither did Anya. None of us asked for this.

Andrew leaves without saying goodbye.

Throughout late afternoon Ben, Jack, and Tom as well as other men and workers trickle out. Kane and I watch as people leave in small groups, hoping to avoid suspicion. One person after another leaves until we are left alone in the quiet, consuming emptiness of Headquarters.

I wait for Kane to say something, but instead he walks out of the room without saying anything. I try not to be disappointed by this. He needs time to process all that's happened. I can't even begin to imagine what he's been through since I last saw him. And even before that when he was locked in the Cells.

I wish I could find a way to speak with him, to understand the hurt he's feeling; that he's not allowing anyone to see. Including me. I try not to feel hurt by that. I knew what I had planned when I took his place in those Cells. He didn't. There was no time for him to accept what I threw at him. There was no time for him to process that the trust he had put in me was about to crumble. Now we have to rebuild. This shouldn't discourage me, but it does. Had I thought that he would be able to bring me back into his world without first addressing what's taken place?

I've hurt him.

It was done for his benefit, but I know that doesn't dull the pain. I know that doesn't erase the hours he spent worrying, about me, our nation, our family.

But broken trust in any form requires mending. It's not a process I can control. It's for Kane to decide, for him to experience and find peace with.

I can't rush that, and I certainly can't push him.

So, having noted he made his way toward his office, I quietly patter toward my room.

My feet find their way, though my eyes don't take in their surroundings.

The building feels empty. There are no voices working their way down the hall, no footsteps clacking. There's a part of me that waits to hear Amelia cry, knowing she'd be hungry about this time of day. The silence is loud in my ears.

As I touch my hand to the scanner outside of my room, I feel hesitant fingers graze my back.

"I'm sorry," Kane's breath fans across the back of my neck as his arms move around my waist. "I shouldn't be upset with you."

"You have every right to be," I counter, holding my hands over his. "Please, don't apologize."

Kane's lips brush the back of my neck in a way that is so delicate, so tentative, I wonder if I've imagined it.

"We've had a long day," Kane whispers. "I for one, would like to sleep."

"How long has it been?" I ask, listening as he swallows, sighing.

"How long have you been gone?"

I close my eyes, keeping silent for a moment. It's a rhetorical question.

"Come with me," Kane rests his head against mine. "I think we've spent enough time away from one another. Plus," he whispers, "I have something to show you."

With a nod, I turn and follow after him, finding his hand in the dimness of the hall.

A/N~ I had to make some last minute adjustments to this chapter because I realized I had written one thing in this chapter and then had written the exact opposite in upcoming chapters. So, I had to decide which route I wanted to actually take. Anyway, I hope you're all doing well and that you enjoyed this chapter!

Questions:

1.) How do you think Kane is feeling?

2.) What are your concerns moving forward?

3.) What do you think will become of Kane and Felisha's relationship?

4.) How do you think everyone will do out and about as they wait to see what the Government does when they discover Felisha is gone?

5.) What do you think the Government will do as retaliation? 

6.) Any questions for me? For your fellow readers?

Until next time Year Movement!

-Sarah