Year 18

-Chapter 30-

"Absolutely not," Amy's voice is stern but level as she shakes her head. "I can't allow that."

"It was not permission I was asking for," Kane sighs, looking over at Amelia as she struggles to keep her eyes open. "Felisha and I have made our decision."

It feels wrong to let Andrea and Andrew walk into what could very well be a trap. Once the others went into that bunker with Paul, the Government became aware of their location. The Government was able to take control, however they chose to do so. They would have been able to send Agents to stand guard as they exploited this advantage. With Paul still not possessing complete autonomy, what might they have made him do? Who could they force him to hurt?

They know we can't sit back and allow any harm to befall the others. They know we will with full awareness walk into their trap. After all, we unknowingly helped set it.

"You can't bring about the worst just because you expect it," Amy sighs. "Maybe Andrew and Andrea will beat them there."

"We don't know what he's capable of," Kane says, referring to Paul. He looks over to me, his jaw tightening. If he expects that his words have hurt me, they haven't. It is only the truth. My brother is at the disposal of the Leader, the Agents, and a man we once thought of as a friend. "I won't let others pay for me anymore," Kane chokes out the words.

Amy takes a shuddering breath and nods slowly.

"If you insist," she looks to Amelia, "I won't stop you. I have a family she can be placed with for the time being."

I know what Kane has planned.

I have agreed to it.

Still, the idea of leaving Amelia once more rips at my heart.

There is no telling how long we will be gone this time.

We have no way of knowing if our plan will even work. We have accounted for if it does, and accepted the reality we will be faced with if it doesn't.

"She will be safe?" I ask.

"Safer than where you're going," Amy sighs.

It's not really an answer, nor does it provide any relief.

After all, Kane and I are headed for the Cells.

It's desperation for some finality that leads Kane and I away from the perceived safety of the tunnels, and back up onto the streets of the civilian sector. We race from shadow to shadow, pushing further into the city.

"This ends here," Kane had said. After Andrew and Andrea had left in hopes of retrieving everyone in the bunker. Everyone but Paul, that is. "We can't keep running. It's killing us... it's killing so many people."

"What are we going to do?" Amy asked.

Kane had sat silent for a span of moments that felt too long, too unsure. Then he'd said, "Let them catch me."

"What are you saying?" Amy had thrown her hands into the air in frustration, her words hot and piercing as she'd continued. "Do you know the trouble we went through to keep you out of their hands?"

"I am entirely indebted to you," Kane's voice is soft, almost pleading. "Still, there is no better time than now. I know it's risky. We couldn't do this before. You were right to stop me when Felisha was in the Cells. Still, we have some form of an upper hand in this."

He hadn't elaborated what exactly it was he had wanted or planned to do when I was being held in the Cells. I am as uninformed in that matter as I am about what sort of upper hand it is we could still possess. It feels as though at every turn we are only a couple façade-shrouded steps ahead. Just when we get to where we are going, we find the Government has met us there, if they are not already waiting before we have arrived.

Everything we are aiming for feels impossible, yet its importance is not diminished by the dwindling morale. The importance of change, of reform, is as strong as it was when Kane's father called for it. It is as strong as it was when a boy was kind enough to offer me shelter despite my attempts to thwart him and his beliefs. It is as important as ever, and still we are left with little as a catalyst.

We continue to fight, continue to push, and so often we are met with a resistance we cannot combat.

So where in all of this is our supposed upper hand?

"It's too risky," Amy had said, as she'd rolled her shoulders. In her most intense moments, I catch glimpses of her father, only in her features. Despite the reservation I had felt at trusting her, she has proven to be a needed asset. "While the various sectors are filled with unrest, he expects an attack more than ever. It's both leverage and a hefty weight to bear."

She had agreed.

I still do not understand what it is she had agreed to, but I trust Kane.

That's why—despite lacking a clear plan—I follow after Kane as we run through alleys, working our way closer to the Government sector.

"It won't work as we'd planned," Amy had said, even after agreeing to Kane's unspoken blueprint.

"I know," Kane had nodded, running a hand over the remains of his disguise, working to remove what he could. "As it falls apart, we'll piece it back together."

I have known Kane for such a short segment of his life, in comparison to all he lived before we met. Still, I have seen him through an array of triumphs and failures; joy and suffering. Through it all, there is a confidence he harbors, rooted deep in his father's messages.

Whatever it is he has planned, I can feel the weight of it as we are forced to leave the shadows, having shed our disguises, fully visible as we enter the perimeter of the Government Sector. Whatever it is he has planned, this is our only option. I can see that in the desperation in Kane's clouded eyes, the way he holds his head high when it is expected he would hide away

As Kane pulls at the hem of his shirt, I see a gun there.

He reaches for my hand as he clicks the gun into place, his finger waiting against the trigger.

"You sure you can go back there?" Kane's voice is quiet.

I nod, feeling tears sting my eyes, the most human parts of me begging me to run, to escape.

Instead, I hold my hands to my ears as Kane launches a myriad of bullets into the air as we walk toward the barricade around the innermost sector of the city. As we walk toward the Leader. His home. His rules.

We give him this leverage I hope we harbor weight enough to collapse.

A/N ~ Hello everyone! I am so happy to be back to writing this series. It took a while to feel comfortable coming back into a dystopian mindset for sure with everything going on in the world and in my personal life. I am so thankful for all your kind words on chapter 29 and my previous author's note. 

I haven't done questions in a while, but here we go!

Questions:

1.) How are you feeling about Amy?

2.) What do you think Kane has planned?

3.) What songs come to mind when you think of these books and characters? I have had some wonderful emails detailing songs that different readers felt represented these characters/books well and I absolutely love listening to them! I would love to compile a whole playlist's worth to listen to while writing :) I also would love to share it with you all as well!

4.) Any questions for me or your fellow readers?

See you soon, Year Movement!

- Sarah