My poetry

As long as I feel this pain

I can feel the heavy weight on my shoulders.
Darkness descending more and more as I grow older,
I scream at my thoughts to just stop it all,
I need to catch up before I stumble and fall.

With a silent sigh, the sun fades away,
The moon comes out, getting in my way.

I stay up all night, with these..thoughts in my head,
Nobody to talk too, and I can't seem to go to bed.

The life I live is a one full of hate,
A one full of lies,
One full of anger that fills my eyes,
But stifles my cries.

Without a sound, I pass people walking with friends,
I glance up to see people laughing and joking around.
Jealousy fills me with envy and rage,
As I think of the life I could have had back in the good old days.

Nobody notices,
Even when you're right there.
And nobody will ever even think to care,
Until you're gone.

Because when you leave the Earth, suddenly, you're everyone's best friend.
And no matter how hard you think, it wouldn't make since.
Because when you're alive, people smirk with mirth in their eyes.

They trip you, they mock you, they laugh and they lie.

They don't care for your emotions,
Or your silent cries.

It's not fair,
The weight that I have to bear.
It Feels like a suffocating, heavy cloak which i'm forced to wear.

It reminds me of how i've lost my light,
How i've lost my love,
My straightforward sight.
Above or below,
I don't care where I go,
As long as i'm away from here.

As long as I don't have to feel this world of pain,
This wold of hate,
Which has nothing for me to gain.

Don't tell me I have to wait,
After all i've been through.
My time has come, and there's nothing anyone can do.

How should I die?
So many ways to chose.
A bridge, a knife? Maybe a noose?
The ghost of me will laugh when people ask why,
They know full well the reason,
Though they never tried to pry.

As long as I feel this pain,
As long as I have to wait,
As long as I cry,
And tears spill from my eyes,
That's how long, i'll never feel safe.