I want to be her 『𝙱𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜』

Chapter Six - Do i tell him?

Bucky ran up to catch up with you at the car. Sam said he would wait inside the car for you, so you waited for what Bucky had to say. Considering he had called you selfish less than an hour ago for moving out of the tower. "What's up Buck?" you asked, slightly exasperated. Bucky just looked at you sadly. "Okay Bucky I kind of have to move now, so any time today would be good,"

Bucky made eye contact with you for a split second, which made your heart jump. Damn Y/N, he was getting married and had been a dick to you like an hour ago. You needed to get over it. "Okay Bucky," you said, starting to get annoyed.

"Right," he said, "So uh goodbye,"

What the fuck? You didn't know quite what you'd been expecting but it wasn't that. It definitely wasn't just a goodbye. You knew that he probably wouldn't want to reflect on your history together but you weren't expecting him to say just goodbye. It felt off. It didn't feel right. "That's it?" you asked, half shocked, half upset. But trying not to show it.

Bucky didn't respond, instead locking eyes with you again. It made your heart beat faster than it should so you looked away. "Okay I'm gonna go," you said, "I'll see you around I guess," Bucky still said or did nothing. Why was he being weird? He shouted at you, called you selfish, said you didn't need more attention and then ignored you until you moved out, and then also said nothing until now.

You turned to leave, opening the car door. "You're not selfish," called out Bucky.

"Thanks," you said awkwardly, Bucky smiled weakly before heading back into the tower. You sighed, there was so much awkwardness there now. Even though you were still in love with him.

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After a couple hours, Sam had helped you move all your things. You headed to the coffee shop to meet Wanda. "Hey," said Wanda, when you sat down at the table, "So what's going on? How is your new place?"

You took a sip of the latte and sat in front of you, remembering the fact that last time you'd been in a coffee shop you had discovered you still loved Bucky. Anyway. "Okay," you said, thinking of the very weird moment that had happened before. "I'm gonna tell him, I'm gonna tell Bucky that I still love him,"

"You're what?" she asked you.

You sighed, "I have to tell him before he gets married, because I just. I have to Wanda, I have to tell him," you looked down, "I would want him to tell me if it was the other way around,"

"What about the break up?"

16th September

You slammed the door to your room, but Bucky managed to grab the door. "Get out," you shouted angrily, but a single tear slipped down your face, "I can't even look at you Bucky, get out," Bucky just stood in the doorway of your room, angering you more.

"It was a mistake," he said, "Please just talk to me," Bucky stepped closer to you, but you walked away.

You shook your head, "No, you didn't," you turned your back from him, "You knew exactly what you were doing, you don't sleep with my best friend and call it a fucking mistake," you knew that what you said had made Bucky feel guilty. And damn right it should. You couldn't stand to be near him. He had broken you. It felt like he had never even loved you. It was like everything he said was lies.

"Y/n, she meant nothing to me," said Bucky, grabbing your wrist, "Please you have to believe me, I love you, and I'm sorry, it won't happen again," you looked at him for a split second and melted. You could hardly believe that the man that you loved had done this to you. Bucky cupped your cheek, and pressed his lips against yours.

You smacked his hand away, "Don't," you said, "Just go, Bucky please, just leave me alone," you said, "I can't talk to you,"

Bucky took a few steps back, but still wouldn't leave you alone. "Bucky this isn't making it any better," you said, turning away from him. He was just stood there in the corner of the room and it was pissing you off. If he wouldn't leave, you would. It was just so hard to walk away from the person that you loved and that you trusted. You walked past Bucky, but he grabbed your wrist.

"Y/n please," he said, "Please please don't go,"

You walked away anyway.

Present Time

"Wanda I don't care," you said, "It was dumb to walk away we could've worked it out," that was stupid walking away was a good thing because he cheated on you, and with Nat. You made yourself look like a total idiot, but sure. "I have to tell him before he gets married, then he'll have all the facts,"

Wanda sighed, "The fact is that he loves Nat, you're not going to change that," when you tried to respond she cut you off, "Okay Y/n, do you want to tell him that you love him and not have him say it back? Imagine how it's going to feel," she said.

"I don't care," you said, "I have to find him," you were sure that Wanda called something after you as you grabbed your purse but you didn't know what. And you didn't care because you didn't want to be put off telling Bucky any longer. You loved him right so what was the worst thing that could possibly happen?

When you got to the tower, you rushed up to the gym. That's where Bucky usually spent most of his time. Instead you ran into Nat. You'd actually forgotten about Nat and the fact that she was supposed to be marrying Bucky. Oops.

"Going to see Bucky?" she asked you suspiciously.

You couldn't even be bothered to lie, "I need to talk to him,"

"Well you can't," she said. You were taken aback. Yes, she might be a bit paranoid and not want you to hang out with him. But she couldn't just say you two can't spend time together. You did see her point though. However, you had no time to go through a debate in your head, she stood in front of you, blocking your path, not letting you walk past her, "I said you can't go and see him,"

You sighed, "And why is that?" you asked her, you didn't need a response. You could tell from this and the way she acted around you, "You're jealous of me?" she had Bucky. Why was she jealous of you?

"I'll let Bucky know that you stopped by," she said, turning away from you. Normally you wouldn't back down from a fight, but it was Nat, and you'd have lots of opportunities to tell Bucky right? His wedding would be like a year from now, you would see Bucky during the space of a year, right? You weren't going to lose him, right?