I want to be her 『𝙱𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜』

Chapter Eleven - Damage

*One Month Later*

You stepped off the plane from Vienna. Back in New York. You looked over to Sam, who was busy hiring a car through his phone, and you smiled a little. Sam had been one of the people who you had been blessed with when it felt like you were losing everyone. Maybe you didn’t deserve him, you probably didn’t. You looked away before collecting your bag, “Ready?” asked Sam, checking up on you again. 

Yeah you definitely didn’t deserve him. “Yes,” you said, even though you weren’t really. You hadn’t actually agreed to the wedding, you had. But not for the wedding part. You weren’t planning on still being around when they exchanged vows. You’d be back in Vienna. And Sam would be back here with the team. And everyone would have gone to plan. Kind of. 

Once you arrived back at the tower, most of the team. Everyone but Bucky and Nat. “Check out my plus one,” Sam said jokingly, as you walked into the room. You smiled as everyone turned to look at you. No invite meant they didn’t expect an appearance from you. 

“Y/N, I missed you,” said Wanda, coming over to hug you. 

“Missed you more,” you said, turning to look at the rest of the team. Scanning the room for Bucky. Yeah, no appearance. Right okay then. 

Steve nodded to the both of you, “Good to have you back,” 

“Hey kid,” said Tony, coming in followed by Pepper.

“Sorry I left,” you said, “I missed you,” Tony nodded followed by a ‘missed you too’. Everyone else chimed in saying that they were glad to have you back. But there was always that elephant in the room. Why you were here, for Bucky’s wedding. 

You sighed, looking at the floor as the room went silent. “Has anyone seen Bucky?” you asked, your eyes were glistening, only slightly. And you blinked back quickly. 

“In his room,” said Tony. The rest of the team looked over to you. You nodded, grateful, before heading towards the stairs. 

You hesitated, pushing open the door. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” called out Wanda. You stopped. Shaking your head, it was probably the worst idea. But, still. You nodded, not looking back. Avoiding eye contact. Closing the door behind you and heading up the stairs. 

Once you arrived at Bucky’s room, you knocked on the door. He shouted it was okay to go in, so you opened the door. Bucky was sat on the end of the bed, head resting on his hand. When he turned to look at you, he had to do a double take. “Hi Bucky,” you whispered, your voice breaking slightly. Dear God this wasn’t going to plan. 

He said nothing. “I just said hi,” you stated. 

“What do you want?” he asked you, the tone of his voice harsh. You looked down, “Hi Y/N,” his tone of voice was softer. “But what do you want?” 

You leaned against the doorframe, “Just to tell you something,” Bucky turned to look at you, and nodded for you to continue. “Okay, okay so I’ll just.. I’ll just tell you right? Yeah I’m just gonna, say it,” 

Taking a deep breath, you looked up. Holding eye contact. You hadn’t actually looked into his eyes since you broke up, yet you’d never forgotten them. “I’m, um,” you broke eye contact, “I'm still in love with you…...that’s it, thought you should know,” you stood up, before looking at Bucky. 

“Look Y/N, I-” 

“I just wanted you to know,” you said, “I’m gonna go,” 

You turned to leave, but heard Bucky get up from the bed. “Y/N wait,” he grabbed your wrist, pulling you to face him. You looked into his eyes, before he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you. 

The kiss was perfect, and despite it being everything you were waiting for, you had to pull away. “What the fuck just happened?” you said, rubbing your forehead, “Bucky what the fuck did we just do?” 

“We made a mistake,” yeah to say the least. You just kissed your ex boyfriend who was supposed to be getting married in a couple hours

“A mistake?” you said, “Bucky you kissed me?”

Steve had been unsure of letting you see Bucky. He was already nervous enough, and you coming wasn’t helpful either. He’d gone to check on Bucky, and of course he wasn’t expecting him to make such a terrible mistake as to kiss you. Fucks sake. “You kissed her?” he asked, knowing the answer. You jumped and turned around. 

“Oh god,” you said, 

Steve shook his head, ignoring you and looking at Bucky. “I can’t believe you would do that,” he said, Bucky went to interrupt him but he was taking none of it, “I have to go find Nat,” you turned to look at Bucky, your eyes wide. You were practically dead already. 

“Steve wait,” you called out, Steve ignored you, “My God,” you turned to Bucky, glaring at him to do something. 

“Just chill out,” said Bucky, walking off to find Steve

Well that could have gone better. It went terribly. It went shit. It was the worst fucking idea you’ve ever had.