Love Undefined: A MaxTul Love Story

My Palsy Warrior

Max's POV

If you were to ask me what my biggest regret in life is?
I would say - not being with Tul Pakorn when he needed me most.
Even if it were according to his own wishes.

***

"Eat slowly PPi, I can take a cab to the airport, you don't have to send me," Max said with concern.

"No, I wanna," Tul said, eating with one hand and reaching out for Max's with the other under the table, "cos by the time you get back, I'll be in Phuket."
"Ok, ok, but I'm driving there," Max reluctantly agreed, "you can drive home after. Then rest, you didn't get to sleep much last night."
Tul looked at Max, and raised his eyes brows.
"And may I remind you who's fault it was," he asked.
"Well, it has been sev..." Max grinned.
"Yes, yes 71 days," Tul laughed, happy to be 'back together' again with his bae, "I know."

Yes, it was a long 71 days of lovemaking-fast and estranged relationship of sorts.
Yes, they met up for work and was especially busy with MOD promotions - and to the public eye, were as sweet, clingy and together as always.
Yet, they knew it was on the contrary.
Of how 'emotionally turbulent' their coupling was those past months.
Thank goodness, they finally made up and came to an understanding of sorts.
It was, however, more of a stalemate somehow.

Which was pretty much the same as how they were the past year.
That is - to openly show their PDAs as fanservices, and keep their real love behind close doors.
Tul tried to talk Max out of completely stopping from seeing Mook, seeing how it would be unfair to her.
But Max was adamant to do so, promising to talk to her as soon as he could.
"It's better for a clean break, PPi," he said as they cuddled in the aftermath of their lovemaking, "you know how charming I can be, she may fall for me for real, if I'm not careful."
And Max had grinned then.

He's right I guess, Tul thought, better for a clean break, rather than lead her around.
We would not want to hurt her as we did Bambi back then.
More often than not, Tul thought of Max and him, as a we.
Even if Bambi and now Mook, were technically Max's sole predicaments, Tul still could not help but to feel responsible for it someway too.

Their growing bond and need for each other, both worried and exhilarated him.
Especially after they crossed the line into intimacy.
Though the love they have for each other has steadily flourished ever since they met, it grew by leaps and bounds after that.
And the possible future scared him.
To keep Max by his side as a lover and face all consequences that came with it, has never been a problem for him.
It was more of whether the relationship can really withstand the test of time, that truly worried him.
And if it did not, what will happen to them?
Was he willing to risk a life time of friendship and bond - for a brief moment of passion?
Those who love the deepest, hurt the most - that was what he always believed, unfortunately.

But as usual, his babiboy will never make it easy for him.
Not in him trying to create a distance, nor suggesting they go back to their earlier tandem, nor a future without one another.
And in a way he was grateful for that.
Max will forever be the one who coloured his mundane robotic life.
Always throwing him in a loop.
Always never giving up.
Always pulling him back to the current.
And back into his loving arms.