NOORIE (Editing)

CHAPTER 18

Affan's pov

Life is filled with tragedy, with long patches of struggle and with, I think, beautiful bursts of joy and accomplishment. Blessed with those moments, you just try to relax as much as possible and focus on the little things.

Life brings us many joyful moments as it does downfalls,and although there are days we wish they were was a manual to follow,it simply wouldn't be the same without the spontaneity. The journey of life may not become easier as we grow older,but we do seem to understand it better as our perspectives evolve.

Life teaches us alot of things. Either good or bad.

Life is an experience for you to try everything. For you to do what you like, along with what you don't like. When you take time to experience many things, what happens is that you become more aware of what is going on in the world, and in the minds of people. It provides an opportunity to relate and connect to more people in the world.

They say if you live life as an experience, there is no limits to what you may be able to achieve.

There's no reason to put expectations upon your experiences in life though. Once you do, you may come to find yourself disappointed in countless situations. Don't expect anything from anyone. Don't expect what you do to create a specific reaction. There are way too many variables in life.

Without expectation, there is no disappointment.

The world is built on the backbone of four components

Every heart has a pain. Only the way of expressing is different. Fools hide it in their eyes,while briliant people hide it behind a smile.

Maybe because I smile alot,many people think I don't have problems. They think I don't know what pain feels like. My own mother turn a blind eye to my problems. She acts like she doesn't know what I am going through. She just wants me to fulfill her wish by getting married. I know I am not suppose to say this,but my mum is selfish. She doesn't care about her children. She doesn't care about my feelings. All she cares about is her so called friends. It hurts alot.

It been two weeks since I saw Noorie. It been two weeks since Alamin saw me in that terrible condition. I am not proud of who I am. I never wanted to take those drugs that day. I tried my best. I tried my best not to think about Noorie. I tried everything possible. But I ended up taking those drugs.

Abba will be devastated if he ever finds out O still take drugs. I stopped taking drugs after I started seeing those therapists. I disposed everything. I made sure there was nothing to trigger that feeling. But I failed miserable. I still took them.

I started taking drugs eight years ago. I can remember the first day it all started . Ever since I started taking drugs,I couldn't go a day without them. Although I stopped,but started taking them again two weeks ago. I wish I can stop the urge of taking drugs. But I can't. I just can't.

Thank God Abba and Ammi were not at home that day. If not I can't even imagine the look of disappointment that will be on their faces.

Talking about Ammi. She threatens me with arrange marriage,but I never for once thinks she will go on with her threats.

My mum and dad informed me today that my own marriage has been arranged. I have been asking myself why my dad agreed to it,but I can't find any relevant reason. My dad will never agree to an arrange  marriage,but he did. I need an explanation from him. It sounds like a joke to me. Arranged marriage?

My mum didn't see any other girl to arrange my marriage with,except a senator's daughter. Her step sister's daughter,my cousin. I dislike that girl alot. She is a spoilt brat. She doesn't respect anybody. I dislike her so much.

Abba knows I love Noorie,but he chose to agree to an arranged marriage. Simply because their own marriage worked doesn't mean mine will. Being in a loveless marriage is not proper. I see no reason why parents force their offsprings into arrange marriage.

When Noorie told me about her arranged marriage,I felt like her parents doesn't care about her atall. Unfortunately,I am also getting hitched with that spoilt brat. If it was any other girl,I would have considered the marriage,but with that spoilt brat,it is impossible. I dislike that girl alot. I can't even imagine staying under the same roof with her. I hissed out in frustration.

I missed her. I wish she was here to tell me everything will be okay.

For the first time in eight years,I wish she is here with me. I just want to see her. I want to see what she looks like. I went to my closet and scattered my clothes. I can't find that box. I brought out all of my clothes and still couldn't find it.

"Where the hell did I keep it?" I screamed out in frustration.

I checked everywhere in my room and I couldn't find it. I went back to the walk in closet and checked everything again. I found it where I keep my watches. Bringing it out with shaky hands, I opened the box. Everything was still intact in the box. I vividly remembered the day she gave me this box.

"Happy birthday. I bought this for you." She extended a small box to me. "I hope you like it?" She inquired. I opened the box and found a pendant in it. 'Ya amar'(my moon) was inscirbed on it. It looked very beautiful.

'I don't like it." I replied her. She scrunched up her face in confusion. "You don't. I am sorry. I will get you something else." She said sadly.

"I don't like it. I love it. I said with a genuine smile.

"You scared me." She said with a cute pout.

"I am sorry"

"I am glad you like it." She said with a smile. Her dimples showing.

"The moon is a friend that lonesome do talk to. You are like my own moon." She said all of a sudden,looking into space."

I brought out the ring in the box. I can remember when she gave me this ring. I can remember when she gave me everything in this box.

The diary. Her diary. She writes everything inform of qoutes. Only me and her understands what she means. I opened the pages one after the other. I remember when she wrote everything on this diary. I remember vividly.

I kept the diary on the floor and brought out the last thing in the box. Her picture. She looks so beautiful in the picture. She was wearing a black abaya. The abaya fits her perfectly. She was smilling at the camera. Her amazing dimples were showing. She looked so beautiful and innocent in the picture. She was different from all girls. She was pure. She was a gorgeous lady. Where did I go wrong in treating her? What did I do wrong? I protected her. I cared for her. Why did she leave me?

I miss her so much. I miss her so much. I miss her so much. I wish she was here with me. To tell me everything will be okay in her soothing voice. I miss her so much. For the first time in the past eight years,I cried. I cried for my pathetic life. I cried for myself,and lastly,I cried for her.

Affan is going through alot😭😭😭

Who do you think the girl is? What is her relationship with Affan?

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